


out of sight | out of mind

by kittyandmulder, Shay081793



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Background clint/nat - Freeform, Canon-Typical Violence, Endgame didn't happen, False Memories, Happy Ending, M/M, Natasha Lives, Not AoU Compliant -- no farm fam for Clint, Parallel Universes, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), canon divergent after IW, off-screen temporary character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-04
Updated: 2019-11-04
Packaged: 2021-01-22 14:43:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 58,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21303797
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittyandmulder/pseuds/kittyandmulder, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shay081793/pseuds/Shay081793
Summary: When Thanos snapped, Steve watched as the most precious thing in his world turned to dust right in front of him. Now, he and those left behind are left to deal with the consequences, and try to find a way to bring them back. Whatever it takes.World War II hero Bucky Barnes, AKA Captain America, saved the world in 1945 when he put a plane down in the Arctic. In 2012, he was found, defrosted, and brought back to the world. Now, he leads a specialized unit called the Avengers, with Sam Wilson on his six and a couple of kids who give him heart attacks on the daily. Everything is great, except a nagging feeling that things aren’t quite what they seem, and a blond man in his dreams that he’s never met, but misses fiercely.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Sam Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Wanda Maximoff, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov
Comments: 82
Kudos: 171
Collections: Captain America Big Bang 2019 | cabigbang





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First and foremost, I'd like to thank my insanely wonderful and talented artists, [Kitty & Mulder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kittyandmulder/pseuds/kittyandmulder). This is my very first bang and I think I'll be spoiled forever. They were both so, so great to work with and I couldn't be happier with what they did for me. Our collaboration was awesome and I will forever be in awe of their talent and kindness. Follow them [here on Twitter](https://twitter.com/KittyandMulder) and give them some love!
> 
> Secondly, I'd like to thank everyone over on the Discord. You know who you are. Thank you for letting me shout into the void, helping me through tough spots, and cheering me on when I was ready to quit. Special thanks to Niitza for all the help with the Norse mythology! 
> 
> To my friends & bf who let me talk at them for months about this, I value your patience and understanding more than you know.
> 
> And finally, a special thanks to my everything, my heart, my Halifer. Without you, this would not have happened in any way, shape, or form. You mean the world to me and words can't describe how grateful I am to have you. From cheering on my first plot bunny to serving as my official beta, I am forever in your debt. 

“Steve?”

Steve whips his head up at the sound of Bucky’s voice. The first half of his name, one he’s heard so often coming from Bucky’s mouth, sounds curious. The second half morphs into distress. By the end of it, there’s panic.

Steve doesn’t have time to move his body. All he can do is look up at Bucky from a few yards away, lock eyes, and then watch, helplessly, as Bucky just… disintegrates.

Steve’s stomach drops and his chest feels like it caves in. His brain hasn’t caught up with his body yet. His eyes see that Bucky’s gone, but he can’t process it. He can’t process it, because he doesn’t want to. Bucky can’t be gone again. He just can’t.

Steve doesn’t realize he’s falling until his knees hit the ground so hard he feels the reverberation of it jar his spine. It hurts.

It doesn’t hurt as much as his heart.

He thinks there may be some commotion around him. Maybe Natasha screams. Maybe he can taste the way the air goes tangy when Wanda uses her magic.

Things must be happening — Thanos is still alive — but Steve can’t _think_. All he can do is move on autopilot as he drags himself across the dirt, to where Bucky was standing only seconds ago.

Next to the footprints Bucky’s boots left is ash.

Steve’s fingers run through it before he can stop himself. He picks up a handful and it runs through his fingers like sand. It coats his palm the way soot sticks to the body after a fire.

He feels sick.

He may _be_ sick.

He doesn’t know how long he’s there, frozen in time, but it’s Natasha who snaps him out of it. She shoves against his shoulder, hard.

“_Steve_,” she says, her voice pained and urgent in a way that must mean she’s said it before. Maybe a few times, before he registered it.

He can’t look away from the pile of ashes. He doesn’t know what to do with it. It’s Bucky, but it can’t be. He can’t leave it here, but he also can’t do anything with it. He just. He can’t.

“Steve, c’mon,” she pleads. “C’mon, get up. I need you.”

He’s never heard Natasha sound so deeply terrified before. Not with the Chitauri, not with Vision, not when Bucky was the Winter Soldier. It’s that that forces him to drag his focus away from the ground.

“Vision — he’s — I can’t find Wanda, or Sam — Steve, we have to get up,” she says, hurried and stumbling over her words. She only looks at him one second out of every five, the rest her eyes darting across the landscape around them, searching, panicked.

Steve has to do something.

Steve can’t do anything.

He forces himself to move, but not before taking some of the ashes and shoving them in his pocket, even though it makes him sick to do it.

He and Natasha stumble through the trees to the clearing where Thanos, Vision, and Wanda were. The only thing they find is Thor standing over Vision’s lifeless, colorless body.

“Oh, God,” Steve chokes out, and his knees buckle again.

“He won,” Natasha whispers. She, too, wobbles and then sits down. “He did it. He got the stones and he did it. They’re gone. They’re all gone.”

“What the hell happened?” Steve breathes, voice high with the edge of panic. “Wanda… she destroyed the Mind Stone. I saw her do it.”

“Thanos used the Time Stone to turn back time and retrieved the stone from Vision. He killed him. I tried to stop him,” Thor says.

Natasha looks stricken, then turns to Steve. “James?”

Steve can’t shake his head. He doesn’t have to, though. The look on his face must be enough for her. Her hand finds his, and she squeezes it hard.

He feels someone approaching. A quick look over his shoulder tells him it’s Bruce, finally freed from the Hulkbuster. A second later, the whine of Rhodey’s suit fills his ears.

“What happened?” Bruce asks, eyes wide. “I saw Thanos. Where is he? Is it over?”

“We don’t know,” Natasha says. “He’s gone. Everyone is…”

“Gone,” Steve finishes. “They’re gone. Has… has anyone seen Sam?”

“I looked for him. I couldn’t find him,” Rhodey answers.

The pit in Steve’s stomach grows.

God. _Fuck. _Not Sam, too.

Then Steve hears a shout, somewhere deeper in the jungle. The agony in the scream is the same agony he feels in his gut. It’s Okoye — he recognizes her voice. It must mean…

Steve’s up like a shot. He finds Okoye seconds later, on her knees and palming ash the same way he was just minutes ago.

“The King,” she sobs. “The King is dead.”

Steve grabs her by the shoulders and hauls her up. “He’s not dead,” he says firmly. “He… they can’t be dead.”

“They?” Okoye asks and turns to him, tears burning in her eyes.

“Bucky, Sam, Wanda… we can’t find any of them. They all disappeared.”

“He evaporated right in front of me,” Okoye breathes, as if she can hardly believe it. Steve sure can’t. “How can he be alive.”

“I don’t know. I don’t know. I just know that he can’t be dead. _They_ can’t be dead.”

If Bucky really is dead, Steve will… He’s lost him too many times. He can’t live through it again. He won’t live through it again.

He doesn’t want to think about the reality of Bucky being dead, so he decides that it can’t be the reality.

“Shuri,” Okoye says suddenly. “I must find Shuri and the Queen Mother.”

“Go,” Steve says. “Find them.”

*****

It’s hours later when they’re finally able to reconvene. Shuri had been unconscious when Okoye found her, but mostly unhurt. After securing the princess and the Queen Mother, the remaining Dora Milaje found M’Baku and his Jabari, and agreed M’Baku would tend to the wounded and oversee the procedures on the ground.

Now, Steve sits in the official Wakandan War Room with Natasha, Thor, Bruce, Rhodey, Okoye, Shuri, and a raccoon, who is apparently named Rocket.

Every one of them is beside themselves with shock, grief, disbelief.

But they can’t just sit here and give in to their pain. They have to do something, and they have to do it now. Steve does what he did for years after he came out of the ice — he takes all of his emotions and stuffs them away.

He can deal with them later. Now, they need him to lead. He may not be Captain America anymore, but these people are still his team — his family.

He takes a deep breath.

“Okay. What do we know?”

He feels the shift in the room as everyone follows his lead and focuses on what’s next.

“Thanos did what he set out to do,” Natasha says. “He got the stones and wiped out half of all living things, then disappeared.”

“Rhodes, when’s the last time you spoke to Tony?” Steve asks.

“Before we saw the donut flying through Manhattan. His suit pinged mine, said he was going up with it. I never got a ping that he came back.”

“I can find out where he is,” Thor says. “Stormbreaker can summon the Bifrost.”

“Can Heimdall give us a headcount of who’s still here?” Bruce asks.

Thor looks pained. “The last thing Heimdall did was send you down to earth. Thanos killed him.”

“Jesus,” Bruce whispers.

Thor's words should do something to Steve, should make him feel something. Instead, he lets them slide past. Doesn't take them in other than to acknowledge they need a new plan.

“Okay. We’ll do it the old fashioned way, then. We… I don’t know. We make a list and we start contacting everyone we can. Thor, I need you to go and find out everything you can about how far Thanos’s reach was. And find Tony.”

“I want to go with you,” the raccoon (and Steve still hasn’t processed that one) tells Thor.

“Of course,” Thor replies. “We’ll see if we can find the rest of your team as well as mine.”

“How many of you are there?” Bruce asks.

“Should be four of ‘em. Gamora and Quill went after Thanos… I don’t know what happened to them.”

Steve nods.

“We must do a headcount of the Wakandans,” Okoye pipes up. “We’ve lost half our Dora. We are weakened.”

Shuri, who’s been looking down at her hands the whole time, looks up with alarm clear on her face. “Nakia?”

“Nakia is here,” Okoye assures her. “She is with the Dora and your mother.”

Shuri deflates. Nods. “I can find out who is still alive. The Kimoyo beads have the vital signatures of everyone. Those offline will tell us who has died. I’ll need to go to my lab, but—”

Steve interrupts before he realizes what he’s doing. “Not dead. They’re not dead.”

Shuri looks at him and he sees his own grief reflected back at him. He can feel himself start to crack under her watchful gaze.

Other than Nat and Sam, Shuri’s been the closest person to him and Bucky these last few months. After she saved him, she stuck around, hanging out with Bucky, and even Steve, when he was around. She said it was like having another brother, but one who was less annoying, and she liked his goats. Bucky’d even named one after her, even though most everyone who heard about that found it “disrespectful” that he “named his goat after a princess”. Shuri got a kick out of it, though. Said it was the smartest goat of the herd.

Shuri nods and doesn’t break eye contact with Steve. “Not dead,” she repeats.

Natasha looks at Steve with an assessing look. “You think they’re alive? Somewhere?”

“I don’t know,” Steve admits. “But I have to believe they are or I won’t be able to do this.”

She doesn’t ask what “this” is.

“I need to call Clint,” she says suddenly.

It’s like saying his name summoned him, because as she’s pulling her phone out, it rings. When she sees the caller ID, she lets out a sob of relief.

“You’re okay,” she breathes when she accepts the call on speakerphone.

“What the fuck happened?” Clint asks. “I was in the middle of ordering a cup of coffee when my barista literally _disintegrated in front of me.” _

“Things went bad with Thanos,” Natasha tells him.

They all listen silently while she retells the story, occasionally jumping in to elaborate on moments Natasha missed.

“_Christ_,” Clint breathes. “Who did we lose?”

Natasha tells him and Clint curses again.

“How do we get them back?” Clint asks. “We’re getting them back, right? Where’s Thanos now?”

“We don’t know,” Steve answers. “We don’t know anything.”

“Come to Wakanda,” Shuri says. “We will lower the shields. Bring anyone who may be able to help.”

Steve expects Okoye to protest, but she simply nods at Shuri.

“I’ll find Scott,” Clint says.

“Go by SHIELD,” Rhodey chimes in. “See who’s left.”

“God,” Bruce says. “How do we even start with head counts? If Thanos really did make it random, how are we ever going to get a clear picture of who disappeared? This is going to have a lot of unforeseen repercussions.”

“It’s a disaster,” Rhodey agrees. “I have to get back home and deal with… everything.”

“I don’t like splitting up,” Steve says.

“We don’t have a choice, Steve,” Rhodey says.

Steve nods. “I know. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. Shuri, can you set him up with—”

“Kimoyo beads, yes, immediately,” she says, nodding.

“I want them on everyone,” Steve says. “I can’t know for sure, but I think we may be safe for a minute. Thanos did what he set out to do, and now we hope he retreats for a while. But if anything else happens, I want everyone accounted for. Thor—”

“Space, yes. Rocket and I will head out immediately. I can summon the bifrost, but once we’re up there we’ll need a ship to get around.”

“Take whatever you find,” Steve says.

“Oh, we will,” Rocket agrees, and he sounds a little bit too excited about it for Steve’s liking.

“Find our people, then come back,” Steve says.

Thor nods.

“Is there a way to keep in contact while you’re up there?” Natasha asks.

“I do not think my Kimoyo beads will reach that far,” Shuri says. “In the next round of updates I’ll make sure they can, but for now, no.”

“Without Heimdall there will be no way for me to contact you quickly,” Thor says. “I’ll be quick and come back as soon as I can.”

“How about your brother. Where’s Loki, can he help?” Clint asks over the phone.

Thor looks down. Swallows hard. “Loki is dead.”

“Shit man, sorry,” Clint replies, and sounds sincere, despite the fact that, last time he’d seen him, Loki literally brainwashed him and made him kill his friends.

“He sacrificed himself for me. He gave Thanos the Space Stone to save my life,” Thor tells them.

“I’m sorry,” Steve says, and he means it.

“Maybe he’ll be back one day,” Thor says with a smile, but it’s thin even to Steve’s ears. “Are you ready, Rabbit?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Rocket grumbles. They stand up.

“Good luck,” Steve says.

“You, too, brother.”

*****

Once their plans are finalized, they agree they need to rest. It’s been days of nonstop combat, and they all know they won’t be able to fix the universe by tonight.

With Thor and Rocket off to space, Rhodey on his way back to the States, and the Wakandans tending to their mourners and wounded, it leaves Steve, Natasha and Bruce on their own.

Steve and Bucky live a ways away from the palace. Close to the surrounding tribes, but far enough away that they can only hear nature around them. For as much as they’d both been city boys growing up, Wakandan countryside has only ever meant peace for them. Wakanda as a whole has, really, but trips to the palace usually meant they had to work on Bucky more extensively — if it was just a simple checkup, Shuri always made it a point to travel to their little slice of quiet.

And after everything that’s happened, Steve’s in dire need of something familiar and comforting, so he takes Bruce and Natasha to his place.

When their aircraft crest the hill and Steve lays his eyes on his home for the first time in a month, his throat goes tight.

“Are those… goats?” Bruce asks, surprised.

“Yeah. They’re Bucky’s. It looks like some are missing.”

“Bucky had goats?”

“Has,” Steve corrects automatically. “It started as occupational therapy, but he took a liking to it. Shuri thinks it’s hilarious, and it gives the kids an excuse to come visit. They really come for Bucky but Bucky likes to pretend otherwise.”

“Wow,” Bruce responds. They turn the engine off and climb out of the vehicle. “You really have a life out here.”

“Yeah, we do.” Steve already misses it fiercely.

Their home is little more than a hut — by Wakandan measures. It’s a standard built home, given to recovering people or newly retired veterans.

Built in wood and straw, and with only four rooms, it’s considered almost primitive. The windows hold no glass, allowing the cool breeze to flow through their home, with Wakandan shield technology overlaid to keep bugs, animals, and hypothetical intruders out. It spoke volumes of Bucky’s trust in the Wakandans that he’d ever even consider living in a house without bulletproof glass, but after they’d seen what the tech could do they never lost a moment’s sleep worrying about their safety.

Steve presses his palm to the top corner of the front door, and only a slight hint of a whine betrays that it scans his hand. The latch unlocks, and the door opens to their living room.

It feels awkward, the three of them in Steve’s home. Nat knows he’s been here with Bucky whenever he wasn’t on missions, but Bruce… the last time they’d seen each other was after Ultron, which feels like ten lifetimes ago.

“So, uh, this is my place,” Steve says and gestures lamely around the room.

Unlike his apartment in DC and his quarters at the Avengers compound, this house feels lived in. Everywhere he looks, he sees Bucky. His notebooks strewn across every surface, the wool blankets on the back of the couch that he likes to burrow in, the scarves he uses to wrap around his stump and leaves everywhere when he takes them off… it makes Steve heart ache and his stomach turn.

It’s the framed picture of Bucky gleefully holding a baby goat with his hair braided by the neighbor kids that gets to Steve the most.

“Excuse me,” he says, voice thick. “I need to go… check up on the goats.”

“Go,” Nat says. “I’ll put up a pot of tea.”

They share a meaningful look and he ducks out the side door, so he can finally be alone.

* * *

Peter’s web snaps as he hurtles towards the ground. He only just manages to fire off a new one and catch himself before the hits the ground.

“C’mon, kid!” Bucky shouts from the sidelines. “I know your reflexes are better than that!”

Peter lets out a disgruntled groan and fires his web shooters directly at Wanda, who is up on her perch, grinning smugly. Before the web even gets near her, she zaps it out of existence.

“You’re going to need to try harder if you want to beat me, spider boy,” she sing-songs.

“Spider _Man_,” Peter grumbles.

“She’s right, Peter,” Bucky says.

“I’m sorry, Cap. I’ll do better next time,” Peter promises.

“It’s okay. Let’s go again,” Bucky says, and Peter and Wanda get in position to run the training exercise again.

It’s only a few minutes later when Sam wanders into the gym and parks himself next to Bucky with a latte.

“How’re they doing, Cap?” Sam asks.

“Wanda’s killing him. He can kick anyone’s ass the old fashioned way, but as soon as magic is involved, it’s like his tactical mind goes out the window,” Bucky answers quietly.

On the course, Wanda traps Peter in another magical bubble.

“Can you blame him?” Sam asks, watching Peter struggle.

“Of course not,” Bucky says. “No one is instinctively equipped to handle magic. It’s not natural. But right now it makes him a liability, and I can’t have him out in the field with us if I’m too worried about his safety.”

Sam laughs. “Oh man. He’s not gonna take it well if you bench him. Can I be there when you tell him?”

Bucky groans. “Remind me again why I keep you around?”

“Because you need air support, and someone on your six over the age of 22.”

“Don’t I have Maria for that?”

Sam laughs again, right as Peter hits the ground.

“Okay!” Bucky yells. “That’s enough for today. Hit the showers.”

*****

That evening, Bucky finds himself cooking up a stir-fry. When he’s satisfied it’ll be up to everyone’s standards, he empties the wok into a large serving bowl over rice. He doesn’t summon the troops — he trusts the smell will do that.

He sits down at the kitchen table and serves himself a heaping portion before everyone else comes down and eats him out of house and home.

Bucky didn’t always live at the SHIELD compound. In fact, originally he was pretty staunchly against it. When he first thawed out, he went straight home to Brooklyn, but without anyone from his old life, Brooklyn didn’t feel much like home at all. But he stayed, because he felt like he should, even after he took Fury up on his offer to join SHIELD.

When he started, it was just him and Maria Hill overseeing various STRIKE teams. But then they recruited Sam, fresh out of the Falcon-II program, and they became a team of their own. It wasn’t until Wanda showed up on Bucky’s doorstep, tearstained and glowing red, begging for help, that he decided maybe he should move onto the base. Maria and Sam moved in with Bucky and Wanda in no time, and then Peter came into the fold, and here they are months later, living together like the least nuclear family in the state.

His team members trickle in eventually, like he knew they would, with Peter leading the pack. Sam comes in last, and is grouchy about it because he’s convinced Maria picked all the water chestnuts out of the stir-fry and those are his favorites, too. They bicker about it for the entirety of dinner, and Bucky doesn’t tell anyone that he didn’t even put water chestnuts into the stir-fry today.

*****

The team is in the middle of a training exercise when the Avengers Alert alarm blares through the compound. It startles Peter so badly, he misshoots his web and lands face-first on the training mat.

Bucky and Sam share twin groans at the sound of the alarm.

“I’m okay!” Peter says, popping right back up. “I’m good! Good to go. Let’s go fight some bad guys.”

His enthusiasm is… not contagious.

“I love going on missions after two hours of sparring,” Maria says sarcastically.

“Tell me about it,” Sam agrees. “My bruises are gonna have bruises.”

“No time for complaints,” Bucky says, although privately he agrees. He hasn’t even stopped sweating yet. “Briefing room, c’mon, hustle.”

Wanda hit the showers fifteen minutes ago and when she meets them in the briefing room, her hair is still dripping wet.

As soon as they’re all assembled, Fury pops up on the screen and starts the brief.

“We have a situation in Times Square,” he says, and Bucky groans immediately.

He _hates_ Times Square. When he was a kid he used to go sometimes with his… with his friend, maybe? He’s not so sure, but…

Well, he used to go, and it was a treat, with all the billboards and lights. These days, though, it’s more like a tourist-ridden zoo, and all the lights are ten times brighter and the crowd is thicker and it’s all-around a bad time. Not to mention the fact that it’s where he found out that he’d been frozen for 70 years and everyone he knew was long dead.

Being there… they’re not good memories.

Maria elbows him in the ribs and he turns his focus back to the screen, as Fury’s face is replaced with grainy cell phone footage of whatever’s going on.

“We don’t know much,” Fury continues, “but what we do know is that someone’s using some sort of magic to freeze everyone and everything in a ten block radius.”

“Great. Times Square _and_ magic. That’s just what I wanted today,” Sam grumbles.

“That’s really all we know?” Maria asks.

“Anyone who enters the affected area freezes upon contact. We can’t get information in or out.”

“How are we supposed to make it through without freezing?” Sam asks.

“You have a magician of your own, don’t you?” Fury says, deadpan.

They all turn to Wanda, who’s already nodding.

“I can shield you from his magic,” she says. “If he’s controlling minds, it will be easy. I can set up blocks in your minds without having to monitor it. If he’s controlling time or space it’ll be more difficult. I’d need to focus on blocking it continually.”

“Okay, if that’s the case, you won’t be able to magically attack whoever’s doing this. If your attention’s on us, we’ll need another plan of attack to get this… wizard. We can’t risk the rest of us freezing and you having to go up against him by yourself.”

“Our number one focus is going to be civilians,” Bucky continues. “We don’t know what he wants, and he has thousands of hostages at his disposal. There’ll be too many people to evac, so we need to tread lightly. Sam, you’re our eyes in the sky. Maria, you and I are on the wizard so we can figure out what he wants.”

“What about me, Cap?” Peter asks.

Bucky sighs. “I’m sorry, kid, but you can’t be in this one.

“What? No! I can help! C’mon! I can be up high with Sam and web people to safety!”

“When we figure out what this guy wants and how dangerous is, you can come help. Until then I need to know you’re safe or I’m going to be worrying about you when I need to focus on the civilians.”

“Cap’s right,” Sam chimes in. “We got this, Peter. As soon as we’re clear, we’ll let you know and you can come help.”

Peter visibly deflates in disappointment. Bucky feels bad for him, he really does, but he also knows that Peter’s feelings are not the priority here.

“Everyone clear?” Bucky asks. “Great. Let’s roll out.”


	2. Chapter 2

They’re back at the palace at sun-up the next morning to receive Clint and whoever else he may have managed to scrounge together. 

Next to Steve, Natasha is tense. He doesn’t blame her. It’s one thing to hear someone is okay, and entirely another to be able to prove it with your own eyes. Whenever he was coming back from a mission, Bucky would be waiting for him on this exact tarmac to make sure Steve’d been telling the truth over the phone. 

Steve hears the whine of the Quinjet before it appears from beyond the forcefield. It touches down and Natasha is moving before the hatch even has a chance to open. As soon as Clint’s visible, Natasha’s on him, holding him tight. 

Seeing Clint, seeing their reunion, makes ugly jealousy turn in Steve’s gut. Because why, after every goddamn thing they’ve been through, did he have to lose Bucky _again_? 

He believed in God, once. Before the serum. Before the War. He hasn’t in a long, long time. 

Steve looks away from his friends and over to the hatch with anticipation, but… no one else emerges. 

“Clint, where is everybody? Where’s Lang?” Steve asks, dread churning his stomach. 

Clint and Natasha pull apart. 

“I couldn’t find him. I went to his place but it was empty except for a terrifying giant ant,” Clint tells him. 

“Who’s Lang?” Bruce asks. 

“Ant-Man,” Steve answers. “He fought with us in Germany.” 

“With Tony?” 

Clint grimaces. “With, against. You know.” 

Natasha clears her throat. “Did you check—” 

“On Cassie? Yeah. Got pretty attached after hearing him talk about her every day on the Raft. She’s fine, but shaken, obviously. Scott was supposed to pick her up but never showed, so she was worried. Her step dad…” Clint glances at Steve, “disappeared. But Maggie was with her.” 

“Okay, what about his partners? Pym or van Dyne?”

Clint shakes his head. “Couldn’t find them either. Scott says they’re pretty pissed at him for the whole Germany thing so I don’t know if they’re in touch. Plus, I heard their lab is portable, so I wouldn’t even know where to look.” 

“How the hell is a lab portable?” Steve asks, frowning. 

Clint shrugs. “Beats me.” 

“What about SHIELD? Was anyone there who could help?” Bruce asks. 

“I went to what was left of it and saw Rhodes there. It’s a cluster, but he’s taking point, merging with some of the other alphabet agencies to make sure there’s a cohesive unit to deal with… everything,” Clint says, waving his hands in the air to illustrate. 

“This is a mess,” Steve groans. 

“You’re fuckin’ tellin’ me.” 

* * *

The Quinjet lands right at the edge of the frozen zone (or “Frozone”, as Sam keeps calling it, apparently referencing some animated movie Bucky’s never seen), and the team prepares to disembark. 

“Peter, stay,” Bucky says firmly. He only _just_ doesn’t point at him for emphasis. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Peter grumbles, and he sinks down further in his seat and crosses his arms. 

“You got your comms?” Maria asks. “You gotta be online if we need you.” 

“Stay put, listen for distress, only come out if everyone is dying. I get it.” 

“Good.” 

Sam, Maria, Wanda, and Bucky exit the Quinjet. There’s an NYPD barrier a block away from the Frozone perimeter, and behind it a crowd has formed to watch the spectacle. The whole scene is eerily quiet, especially for Times Square on a Saturday afternoon. 

Bucky’s seen a lot of weird and creepy shit in his life, but nothing has been as downright _spooky_ as what’s happening in front of him. Everything is completely, utterly frozen. People are stopped mid-step, birds are immobile in the sky, even the billboards don’t change their displays. 

“Wow. Creepy,” Sam whispers. 

“I’ll go talk to the cops,” Maria says, and she keeps her voice down, too. The silence demands silence in return. “Find out if they know anything.” 

“Keep us updated,” Bucky replies. 

Maria nods and jogs over to the cops. 

“I can’t feel his magic from here,” Wanda says. “It’s like there’s a barrier. I think I need to go inside to find out what he’s doing.” 

“Okay, we’ll go with you,” Sam says. 

“No,” Wanda replies immediately. “I won’t be able to shield you until I know what I’m dealing with. I need to go alone.” 

It’s risky and Bucky doesn’t like it, but he doesn’t see another option so he nods his head. 

Maria comes back with some more intel from the people on the ground — how long it’s been happening, where it started, how many blocks it spans — and they pick the best angle to breach the Frozone. 

“You ready?” Bucky asks when they’ve discussed as much as they can. 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,” Wanda replies. She takes a quick breath and then walks to the edge of the frozen area. The only thing that actually shows where the zone begins are the three police officers who are stopped mid-run, clearly right after stepping over the threshold.

Bucky waits with bated breath as she steps across the line. 

“Wanda, you good?” Sam asks. 

She’s only a few feet away from them, and they can see her hesitate, then nod. 

“He’s not controlling minds, but it’s not exactly time, either. I can’t really describe it. He can’t feel me, though, or he’d have frozen me, too.” 

“Can you cover us?” Maria asks. 

“Yes.” 

They take another minute or two to discuss strategy, then they set out to the center. The wizard has perched himself on the Times Square Red Steps so he can survey the area, which makes it difficult for Bucky’s team to get around. Wanda may be able to keep their… signatures, or whatever, hidden from him, but being the only moving thing in a five block radius is going to attract attention. 

When the wizard notices them, it quickly becomes clear that he’s not, in fact, some evil mastermind who’s trying to take over a chunk of Manhattan, but rather a terrified kid who isn’t in control over his powers at all. 

“Who are you?! How are you moving?” the kid yells, panic stricken, when he sees them approach. “Stay back!” 

“Hey, kid, it’s okay,” Bucky says, holding his hands up and trying not to startle him. “We’re not here to hurt you.” 

“Everyone wants to hurt me!” the kid screams back. “Everyone wants to hurt me, or use me, or stare at me, and I just want it all to stop!” 

And fuck, Bucky thinks, this is much worse than a villain monologue. 

“We don’t want to do that,” Bucky calls out. “We’re here to help.” 

“I don’t believe you!”

“I can subdue him,” Wanda says quietly enough that only Bucky can hear it. “But I will need to let go of you. You’ll freeze, but I can get him.” 

“Do it,” Bucky says.

Bucky hasn’t let himself admit it, but he’s terrified of freezing again. He can’t explain it rationally — he has no memories from the ice — but the thought of being frozen again terrifies him like nothing he’s ever experienced. He didn’t even realize it was a fear until the moment it’s upon him, and then before he can say anything, it’s happening. 

It’s not cold, not like he expected. The freezing doesn’t start in his extremities and slowly make its way to his body, his heart. He feels no pain, even though he’s bracing for it. In fact, it almost feels nice. It feels like he’s floating, completely at peace with the universe. Physically. 

Emotionally, he’s petrified. His heart isn’t racing — it can’t, frozen — but it feels like it should be. Every second, every moment, is bone-deep, agonizing terror. 

And the feeling is familiar. The sensation of being unable to move, terrified, with his mind clear and his eyes sharp, but his body not his own, even though he’s never experienced anything like it. He hit his head before he froze in the Valkyrie. He’s never—he doesn’t know why, but he’s so, so scared. It’s the most scared he’s ever been. Even more than when he… fell? He never fell. The plane fell, but he… didn’t… there was… someone? 

He tries to focus on Wanda, on the civilians, on his team, but his mind keeps racing, keeps circling back to a fall he never fell, a memory he never experienced. 

And then it’s over. 

As soon as his body is released, his knees buckle and he falls to the ground, his body finally catching up with the panic of his mind. He’s breathing fast, too fast, is hyperventilating, and he doesn’t even know why. He doesn’t even, can’t even—

“Cap? Cap, are you okay?” he hears, and he can’t look up, but he feels hands on his shoulders, and then someone is hauling him up and he’s leaning on someone, and it’s Sam, and he sags and lets Sam take his weight, and then they’re moving, but Bucky can’t think, can’t process, is still reeling. 

And then the rest of Times Square comes alive, and the shift from near silence to overwhelming wall of noise is so sudden, it jars Bucky out of it, and suddenly he’s himself again. 

“Barnes?” Maria yells over the crowd. 

“Yeah. I’m fine, I’m okay,” Bucky says, and he moves away from Sam, who still looks deeply worried. 

“Buck—” Sam starts, but Bucky shakes his head, waves it away. 

“I’m fine,” he says again, firmer. “What happened to the kid? Is he okay? Wanda?” 

“They’re okay. Well, whatever measure of okay the kid is going to be when all this is over,” Maria says wryly. “Wanda turned his powers on himself and was able to subdue him, then got Peter over to web him up and get him out of here. SHIELD’s here and our paramedics got him. They’ll take him in for questioning, but mostly they’re worried he’s a danger to himself.” 

Bucky nods, taking it in. “Okay. Okay, well, could’ve been worse. Any injuries? Casualties?”

Maria shakes her head. "The paramedics are still checking people out, but it looks like there aren’t any serious injuries."

“Good,” Bucky says. “Good.”

Because it is. Things are okay. 

As long as he doesn’t let himself think about the pants shitting fear.

*****

That night, Bucky can’t sleep. All he can think about is being frozen, the phantom pain of being thawed, and the feeling that he’s missing something. Something important.

More than the what, he’s stuck on the why. It wouldn’t be the first time he’s felt like he’s missing something. Actually, he feels like that all the time. Sometimes he meets someone with eyes in a particular shade of blue, and it reminds him of someone he doesn’t know, or he walks through Brooklyn and it feels like it’s missing more than just everyone he ever knew, or like the one time he was watching a press conference from Wakanda on TV and it was so familiar he felt like he could taste it, despite never having set foot in the country. 

So it’s not the _what_ that’s getting to him. The _why_, though. Why had he recognized the bone-deep, inescapable terror from something so completely new? 

He stares at his ceiling for hours before finally giving up on sleep and heading to the common room for some tea. He doesn’t need that much sleep anyway, not since the serum, and thinking about this is only going to make him crazy. 

When he rounds the corner to the kitchen, he’s surprised to find Wanda already seated at the island with two still-steaming mugs in front of her. 

“I thought you might come,” she says, smiling softly. 

“That obvious, huh?” he says, chuckling a little self-deprecatingly. He sits down next to her and accepts the mug of tea.

“No, not to anyone who wasn’t in your head today,” she replies. 

His eyes go round with surprise. “You felt it?” 

“Of course. I was in your head to shield you from his magic. I felt it even when I let go,” she explains. “I don’t always, you know. Stay in people’s heads. Only when I need to protect them.” 

Bucky nods. He wraps his hands around the mug, the metal one acclimating to the temperature and the flesh one pleasantly hot. 

“You were afraid,” Wanda points out. 

“Yeah,” Bucky agrees. No point in lying to her when she was in his head and felt it with him. 

“Why?” Wanda asks, and Bucky laughs. 

“Wanda, if I knew why I was afraid I’d feel a lot better about it,” he says. “I’ve never been so scared in my life, and I have no idea why. I knew you were going to freeze me. I knew it was magic and I knew you’d bring me back. I was never afraid of you, please know that.” 

Wanda looks down at her tea, but nods. “I didn’t think… but I didn’t know.” 

“Sweetheart, I’ve never been afraid of you and I never will, okay? I trust you with my life. I don’t know why I was scared, but I know it wasn’t you. I promise.” 

Wanda nods again. “Thank you.” 

Bucky places his hand on hers and squeezes lightly. She looks up and smiles at him. 

“You did good today, you know,” he says when he releases her hand. 

“Peter did, too,” Wanda says. 

Bucky chuckles. “Yeah. He followed an order for once, so I think all around it was a good day.” 

They sit in companionable silence for a while, sipping their cooling tea. 

“Bucky, can I ask you something personal?” Wanda asks, breaking the silence. 

“Of course.” 

“Do you ever feel like things are… not wrong, I think, but… _off_? I can’t explain it, but sometimes things happen and I swear they’ve happened before, but they haven’t, or I’m telling a lie that I know is a truth.” 

Bucky’s stomach clenches. “Yes. All the time.” 

“The other day, I was with a new recruit and he asked me if I had siblings. I don’t, but when I said it, I felt like I was lying,” Wanda tells him. 

Bucky props his face up on his hand. “Yeah, I know what you mean. It happens, mostly, when people ask about before. I have an eidetic memory, so I know I’m right, but…” He trails off.

“I thought maybe it had to do with my powers. That I was feeding off other people’s thoughts by accident. I’m sorry you get it too, but I’m glad to know I’m not the only one.” 

“It’s human nature. Probably. I don’t really know what I’m talking about,” Bucky admits. “Sam might know.” 

Wanda grins. “But Sam will make me talk about my feelings and you won’t.” 

Bucky barks out a laugh. “He does that, doesn’t he?”

* * *

Introductions between Clint and the Wakandans goes smoothly. Okoye didn’t say much, but she did eye Clint’s bow with approval. 

“It’s chaos out there,” Clint tells them. “Here, at least people know what happened. They fought something they could see and lost, so it made sense. Out there? Everyone just up and vanished into thin air. I was in the middle of a Starbucks and no one knew what was going on. A car ran straight through the window because the driver disappeared.” 

Steve stops listening. He knows he shouldn’t, should pay attention to what’s happening to the world, but he can’t. It’s selfish, so fucking selfish, but he doesn’t want to deal with other people’s fear and grief. He has enough of his own, and if he takes on any more it’ll swallow him whole. 

He can’t be in here anymore. 

He stands up abruptly, his chair scraping across the stone floor loudly. 

“I— excuse me,” he chokes out, and leaves the room. 

He doesn’t make eye contact with anyone as he goes. He trusts Natasha will make an excuse for him. She’s good at that — knowing exactly what he’s thinking at all times and knowing when to step in. It used to bother him, back before they found out Bucky was alive, before they became a very small circle of people they could trust. Now, he’s comforted by it. 

She was one of three, before, who could read him like an open book. Now, it’s just her. 

Tears burn his eyes and doesn’t pay attention to where he’s going. He just _goes_. Walks through the palace until his feet lead him to Shuri’s lab, which doesn’t surprise him. He spent a lot of hours here, both with and without Bucky. 

Shuri gave him unrestricted access to the space months ago. He pushes the door open after it scans his genetic makeup and confirms it’s him. He remembers when he first stood in front of the scan and asked Shuri why she wasn’t using ocular scans and she laughed and called it primitive. You can remove someone’s eyes. You can’t fake their entire DNA. 

He slowly makes his way across the room to the windows that overlook the Vibranium mine. The trains are still running, of course, because nothing as mundane as losing half their ranks would stop Wakanda from running optimally. Their people may be devastated, but their tech is beyond emotions. 

All tech used to be beyond emotions, but then JARVIS came to life as Vision and fell in love with Wanda. Steve’s stopped thinking in absolutes since then.

He sits down on the ground and leans against a table that holds some prototypes, looking out over the mine. It’s soothing, almost. 

He clenches and unclenches his fists a few times, then looks down at his Kimoyo beads. He doesn’t pretend to understand how they work, but he’s always loved them. He hasn’t taken his off since Shuri gave them to him on his first trip to Wakanda. 

When Bucky’s mind was finally safe and his own, he agreed to let Steve visit. He never wanted to see him before. Was afraid Steve would… Steve doesn’t really know, actually, why Bucky didn’t want to see him, but he never pushed, never pressed. After having all of his choices taken away from him for decades, Steve was never going to question what he wanted now. But then he was fixed, and gave him a call, and Steve was on the next jet to the country. 

It didn’t take long for Bucky’s hut to become their home, and for them to pick up more or less where they left off in 1945. When he was called into his first mission after the move, he and Bucky didn’t exactly take it well. Shuri took one look at Bucky when Steve was gone, shook her head, and made them a custom set of Kimoyo beads to keep track of each other. At least, that’s how she tells the story. 

Their bracelets, in addition to everything else they can do, show readouts of each other’s life signatures. Bucky’s signatures have been offline since Thanos, and every time Steve looks at his special beads he feels like he might throw up. 

He sits there for a while, staring at the null readouts of Bucky’s life, dry-eyed and blank. 

Shuri sits down next to him, a while later. She’s wearing those damn sneakers she created, which are some of the only things Steve can’t detect unless he’s actively trying to listen to them. 

Steve looks at her and smiles sadly. Her braids are down, which is a rare sight, especially when others are around. She leans into his shoulder. 

“Do you think they’re alive? Somewhere?” she asks. 

“They have to be,” Steve answers. 

“I am not ready to be queen,” Shuri admits, quietly. “M’Baku offered to take the throne, but I can’t give it to him either. If things were different, and T’Challa were around, maybe I could cede, but… I have to take his place, now.” 

Steve nods but doesn’t say anything. What can he say? He’s not going to pretend he knows anything about being royalty, about running a country. 

“For now, though, at least everyone knows my attention is needed elsewhere. Nakia is going to take care of the diplomatic things and Okoye will instruct the Dora to take care of my people. I need to be here, in the lab. Try to figure out what happened.” 

“I was able to scan Vision, before he was taken. I have an electronic duplicate of the stone he held in his head. If I could understand it…” 

Steve’s gut clenches with sudden hope. 

“You think you could recreate it? Get them back, somehow?” he asks. 

Shuri shakes her head. 

“No. During the fight I had only a moment to check, but a moment was enough to know I could never recreate anything like the stones. They are sophisticated beyond any mortal comprehension. I could, maybe, given a lot of time, understand them, but never recreate them. The compounds they were made up of alone were things I’d never seen. I don’t even know if they still exist on earth, or in the galaxy, for that matter.” 

Steve sighs and nods. 

“I’m sorry, Steve.” 

“I’m sorry, too.” 

They lapse into silence, staring at the trains below. 

“This is incredibly selfish,” Steve starts. 

“You are allowed to be selfish, now.” 

“I have… I saw him disappear. I was there. What was left of him… I took some of it. I don’t know what possessed me to do it, and I feel, dirty, almost, for having that part of him, but. Could you maybe make me something to keep it in? The ashes. That I could keep close?” 

“Steve, of course,” Shuri says immediately. “That is not selfish. That’s barely even a request. I have something for you already.” 

She stands up and walks across the room quickly. Steve follows. 

She stops at a chest of drawers and pulls different ones open and shut until she finds what she’s looking for. She pulls out what looks like a necklace with a vial dangling at the end. 

“This is Vibranium,” she says, holding it out to him. “It will not break and it will not come off. The clasp is fingerprint activated, so only you will be able to remove it once it is programmed to you.” 

“_Thank you_, Shuri,” Steve says. He takes the necklace gingerly and looks at it. The vial at the end is clouded glass with Vibranium inlaid designs. There are Xhosa words around the bottom and Steve doesn’t know what they mean, but he imagines it’s something meaningful. He doesn’t ask. 

*****

It’s been five days since Thanos, and Steve has never felt so useless in his life. Not even when he was small and was so sick he could barely hold his head up to drink soup. 

He’s laying on a couch in Shuri’s lab, his necklace clenched in his fist, and his other hand covering his eyes.

Shuri and Bruce are talking on the other side of the room, looking over expanded scans of the stone. They’ve been at it for days and don’t seem to be any closer to any sort of resolution, but Steve isn’t surprised. Shuri said it could take months, even years, to understand it. 

Natasha and Clint are on another couch talking quietly. None of them like being away from each other right now.

The door of the lab opens and Okoye bursts in. Everyone in the room looks up. 

“Thor has returned,” she announces. “And he has brought Tony Stark.” 


	3. Chapter 3

After he’s said it out loud, Bucky starts noticing how little things feel wrong more frequently. They’re small, mostly — impossible feelings of déjà vu, recognition of things he’s never seen before, a blond man in his dreams whose eyes crinkle when he smiles. It’s not until he’s walking down the streets of Manhattan that it really starts to freak him out. 

Bucky, Maria, and Sam are in the city for a meeting with Director Fury to discuss their newest recruits and their progress. The meeting itself is nothing to write home about — Fury saw how well Peter and Wanda did during the event in Times Square a few weeks ago. It’s after that that things get weird. 

Maria stays with Fury, but Bucky and Sam go out to grab a bite to eat. 

“Is it bad that all I really want is a two dollar hot dog from a cart?” Sam asks as they make their way over to Central Park. 

“Nah, man, some things can’t be beat,” Bucky says. 

They locate a street vendor who doesn’t bat an eye when they come up to him to place their order. It’s one of Bucky’s favorite things about New York City; New Yorkers rarely give a crap about two quasi-superheroes in their midst. Unless those superheroes are there on superhero business and are blocking roads or stopping subways, or otherwise inconveniencing them. _Then_ they care. 

“Two dogs, the works,” Sam orders, and Bucky doubles it for himself. 

Content and with full bellies, the two of them pick a bench to enjoy the spring afternoon on. There’s no rush to get back to the compound, and it’s a nice day besides. Might as well take advantage and relax a bit. 

Sam’s got his shades on and has his head tipped back, basking in the sun. 

“Is this how parents feel when they finally leave their kids at home with a sitter for the first time?” Sam asks. 

“Probably,” Bucky says. “I love those kids but damn. Not sure when I signed up to be a dad, but here we are.” 

“I hear ya,” Sam says. 

Bucky hears it then, the sounds of kids jeering, a yelp and a body hitting mulch. 

He sits up. “You hear that?” 

“We’re in the park, man, gotta be more specific.” 

“Those kids,” Bucky says slowly and turns around. Over in the neighboring area of the park there’s a playground, and when he narrows his eyes he can see a group of boys looming over a smaller kid on the ground. 

The small kid stands up, his fists raised. Even from here Bucky can see him wobble. 

Bucky stands and jogs over to them. 

“Barnes!” he hears Sam call after him, but it’s only a half-hearted attempt at protesting — he knows Bucky’s going to do whatever he wants anyway. 

“Hey, knock it off,” Bucky says when he reaches the playground. The smallest kid hits the ground again with another thud. 

“Go away. I don’t need your help,” he grumbles at Bucky. 

The bigger kids look up and don’t seem to recognize him. Makes sense, without the suit. 

“What are you gonna do about it?” one of the bigger ones asks, jutting his chin up defiantly. 

Bucky puts on his best Captain America Is Disappointed In You voice and says, “You think it’s cool, picking on kids who are smaller than you?” 

“Shit, that’s Captain America,” another boy whispers to his pals. 

And yeah, there it is.

“Uh… we’re uh…” 

Bucky hears Sam’s footsteps behind him, then. 

“Sorry, Captain America, sir,” the first finally says. 

“Don’t apologize to me,” Bucky says. “Apologize to… what’s your name, kid?” 

“Jack,” the smallest boy says. “I’m fine.”

“Sorry Jack,” the boys murmur in unison. 

“Great, now get out of here,” Sam tells them, and the boys scamper off. 

Bucky crouches down next to Jack and helps him up. 

“I know you don’t need my help,” Bucky says and helps the kid up, only to be shoved away by a little shoulder. “You were doing a good thing, getting back up like that.” 

Jack is glowering at the ground. He kicks at a pebble with his red Converse. 

“I had a friend like you when I was a kid,” Bucky says, wistful. “He was always getting picked on. Never stayed down either, even when he was being punched. Sometimes I even thought he liked it. But he was always standing up for himself, just like you.” 

“Yeah?” Jack asks, looking up, and Bucky notices the kid’s eyes are shining. 

“Yeah.” 

“What happened to him?” Jack asks. 

“He grew up big and strong and could take on all the bullies. But, and here’s what’s important, he never let himself become a bully, just because he was big enough to hurt someone else. Remember that, okay?” 

“I will,” Jack promises. 

“Good,” Bucky says. 

Jack’s knee is bloody from falling down, and Sam helps him flush it with a bottle of water before they send the kid home. 

As they leave the playground, Sam asks, “How come I never heard this story about your old pal, huh?” 

“Because I made it up,” Bucky says, but that… doesn’t quite feel right. Just seconds ago, he had a sharp, exact picture in his mind. A memory so crisp it played in his head like a movie. Now as he tries to grasp at it again, it’s as elusive as a wisp of smoke.

“I never knew anyone like that growing up. Saying it… I’m not sure. Felt right, like the kid might take it to heart or something.” 

“Mhm. You don’t have to tell me if it’s private, Barnes,” Sam says, like he doesn’t believe what Bucky is saying. And truth be told, somehow Bucky doesn’t really believe himself either. 

“It really wasn’t true,” Bucky insists anyway. “Sam, why would I lie.” 

“Dunno. Secret 30s star crossed lovers, maybe?” 

Bucky rolls his eyes. 

“Wilson, I swear to god.” 

*****

After sitting on the thought for a few days, Bucky calls Wanda over to talk when they finish their group training. Sam and Maria have taken off to burn some extra energy on the track, and Peter is sprawled out on the sparring mat, breathing heavily from exertion. 

“Wanda, do you have a sec?” Bucky asks, running a towel across the back of his neck. He sometimes feels a phantom itch on the back of his neck and feels like he should put his hair up, but it’s never been long enough to reach past his ears. 

“Yes. Is everything okay?” Wanda asks. 

“Yeah,” Bucky says.

“Don’t mind me!” Peter calls from his spot on the ground. “I’ll be fine. Just dying. No big deal.” 

“If you’re still there in an hour, we’ll talk,” Bucky says back. 

“No one cares about me,” Peter whines. 

“Goodbye, Peter,” Bucky says. 

“Woe is me.” 

“We’re leaving.” 

“I will perish by myself.” 

“We can’t hear you.” 

“Death has taken me.” 

Bucky rolls his eyes fondly as they exit the gym. 

He and Wanda chit chat about nothing on their way to the briefing room. It’s not that Bucky doesn’t want the rest of the team to know what they’re talking about, but if they go to the living room they’ll probably be overheard and he’d rather tell them about this when he’s ready. When he knows if there’s even really something to tell. 

When he clicks the door closed and turns to Wanda, her face is serious. 

“Are you already reading my mind?” Bucky teases. 

“No. I don’t do that to my friends without permission. But it’s not hard to tell there’s something on your mind.” 

Bucky nods in acquiescence. “Fair.” He sits down in one of the chairs. 

“Do you remember what we talked about after Times Square?”

Wanda shifts in her seat and nods. “Yes. Has it been happening more for you?” 

“Yeah. I’m having dreams and memories that feel real but when I stop to think about them, they disappear.” 

“The other night I dreamt about falling in love with a robot. It was so strange. When I woke up I was sad,” Wanda says. 

“I want to talk about your powers. Specifically, your ability to read minds,” Bucky says. 

Wanda shifts, visibly uncomfortable. “Bucky…” 

“I know you don’t like going into our heads, and I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t think it was serious. But Wanda, something is wrong. I can feel it. And I think you might be the only one who can find out.” 

“I’ve been searching my own memories,” Wanda says. “Nothing is out of the ordinary.” 

“Maybe, but you’re biased. You’ve always said it’s easier to read others than it is to read yourself, right?” 

Wanda nods. 

“I’m not asking you to go in and, I don’t know, uncover my deepest darkest secrets,” Bucky says, and grins to lighten the mood. “I just want you to see if you can find anything that looks off.”

Wanda sighs. “Okay. But not now. I need to prepare.” 

“Sure. Whenever you’re ready.” 

*****

It takes another week before Wanda’s ready to go into Bucky’s mind. They’re in the gym and Bucky is laying flat on the training mat. Wanda wasn’t sure if she’d trigger something, and they both felt better being in an open space in case she does. 

“So I just… close my eyes and let you do your thing?” Bucky asks. 

“Yes. You might feel like you’re being watched, or you might see the memories as I access them, or something I haven’t even thought about. I haven’t done this before, not with someone who was conscious or was willing to tell me about it afterwards, so I don’t know what it’ll feel like for you,” Wanda reminds him. 

Her tone of voice makes Bucky sit up and take her hands in his. 

“Wanda. _Nothing_ that happens here is going to make me upset with you, okay? I might get upset, or scared, or sad, or whatever, but it won’t be because of you.” 

“I know. I just don’t want to hurt you.” 

“You won’t. I trust you.” 

Wanda’s nod is only half convincing, but Bucky needs to know what’s going on, so he lays back down. 

“Okay. I’m going to start,” Wanda says. 

At first, he doesn’t know if she’s actually started yet. He doesn’t feel anything, doesn’t feel any memories being tugged at, or whatever else she said might happen. 

It hits him like a blow to the gut. 

The fear is all encompassing. She’s in his mind, pulling, prodding, and the terror freezes him alive all over again. 

He can’t move. Can’t speak. Can’t scream and beg her to stop. 

But he doesn’t have to. It only lasts a moment, and then it’s over, she’s gone, he’s alone in his head again. He turns over and retches, bile hitting the practice mat. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god,” Wanda repeats frantically. “Bucky, are you okay?”

Bucky coughs once, twice more, and nods. His throat feels like he swallowed gravel when he tries to speak. 

“I’m okay,” he croaks out. 

“You were so scared,” Wanda breathes. 

“Yeah, I was, but I don’t know why, which means something is wrong. We need to go again.” 

“No! No, I won’t do that to you again!” 

“Wanda, please,” Bucky says, desperate. “We need to know what’s going on.” 

“Bucky, you say you’re not afraid of me, but have you thought about what it’s like for me? I’m in there, I’m the one doing things, and your fear feels like it’s choking me alive. You’re not the only one in pain when we do this.” 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky says immediately, because he is. 

“I understand why we have to go again, but I won’t do it without the team. They need to know what’s going on.” 

“Okay. Okay, we’ll tell them. Sam will be there next time. I promise.” 

Wanda stands up. “I have to go.” 

“Wanda, I’m—” Bucky says, but she’s fleeing out of the room before he can finish. “Sorry…” 

* * *

Steve’s standing at the door of the room Tony’s in. He can hear him and Bruce greeting each other. They sound happy to be reunited. 

Part of Steve wants to rush in and embrace Tony, and forget everything that’s happened between them, especially given the circumstances. But the other part of him can’t stop seeing Bucky’s torn-off arm and the hatred in Tony’s eyes when he looked at the man Steve loves.

“Steve,” Natasha says, coming up beside him. She gently touches his shoulder. 

“I know,” Steve replies. 

“We’re all we got.” 

“Nat, I know,” Steve says again. “I just. I need a second.” 

“Okay.” 

Natasha doesn’t go inside the room. Instead, she stands, silently and patiently, beside Steve, while he wrestles with his emotions. His hand comes up and touches the vial around his neck. 

He goes in. 

Tony looks terrible. It’s the first time Steve’s laid eyes on him in years, and it shocks him just how broken down his once-friend looks. 

“And Pepper?” Tony asks. 

Bruce hesitates, then shakes his head. “We haven’t been able to locate Pepper. I’m sorry.” 

Steve watches as Tony’s knees buckle. He only avoids hitting the ground because Thor catches him. 

“Oh, God,” Tony chokes out. “Oh god.” 

It’s the absolute despair on Tony’s face that makes Steve decide to forgive him. He probably won’t ever forget what happened, but it’s clear they need each other now more than ever. 

“Tony,” Steve says, and Tony’s head whips up at the sound of his voice. His eyes find Steve’s unerringly. They’re filled with tears for Pepper, but are sharp nonetheless. 

“Steve. I—”

“Let’s not,” Steve interrupts. “Let’s not. We can move forward. Okay?”

Tony swallows and nods. “Okay.” 

*****

It’s not quite the reunion Steve had been expecting, but he can admit (privately, and only to himself) that having Tony there makes him feel better, if only slightly. Sure, he’s always been a pompous ass who gets on Steve’s nerves, but there was never any denying that the guy’s a genius, and they can use all the geniuses they have at the moment. 

Now, he and the original Avengers are in a room together, alone, for the first time since Loki. 

“Strange was able to,” Tony is saying, “I don’t know, see a billion possible futures. He said there was only one scenario that we won in, and then he handed over the Time Stone. I have to believe he was smart enough to go through with whatever would lead to that one scenario, but he didn’t tell me what it was. All he said before he disappeared was that we were in the end game now, whatever that means.” 

“Christ,” Clint breathes. 

“Yeah,” Tony agrees. “Meanwhile, everyone on the entire _planet _I was on up and disappeared, until this blue chick showed up in a spaceship. I think she was planning on bringing me here, but then Thor showed up.” 

“Blue chick?” Natasha asks. 

“Her name is Nebula,” Thor explains. “Rocket knew her. She is one of Thanos’s daughters, though apparently they are no longer close.”

”All of Rocket’s other companions were victims of Thanos’s snap,” Thor continues. “He stayed behind with Nebula to see the state of the rest of the galaxy. They will return to us if they have news.” 

“Have you checked on your people since the snap?” Steve asks. 

Thor nods. “I stopped in before I left for space. They’re in Valkyrie’s care, but the situation is dire. Half of those who were left after Ragnarok were brutally slaughtered on our ship, and then another half of those perished during the snap. We’re left with about three hundred of our original population.” 

“Do you need to be there with them?” Steve asks. He’d hate to lose him, but he understands Thor has other people to lead and care for. 

“I do, but I need to be here as well. I will be traveling back and forth. While I’m here, Valkyrie has our population under control.” 

“Is Valkyrie _a_ Valkyrie?” Natasha asks, dubious. 

“She is,” Thor confirms, and Natasha’s eyebrows raise, impressed.

“So now what do we do?” Clint asks after they lapse into silence for a minute. “Does anyone have any inkling of a plan?” 

All six of them stay uncomfortably silent. 

“Shuri mapped Vision’s stone before he was killed,” Bruce offers. He looks to Tony. “Do you think we could overlay it with the interface we built after Ultron?” 

Tony shakes his head. “We could, but at this point I doubt it’ll teach us anything. JARVIS mapped that stone way before he ever became Vision.” 

“You should talk to Shuri,” Steve says. “She might know more than you do.” 

Tony looks scandalized. “She’s a kid,” he points out. 

“And the smartest person I’ve ever met, you included,” Steve shoots back. 

“Steve’s right,” Bruce says, before Tony can protest.

“Whatever. I’ll be the judge of that when I meet her. You think she can crack the stone?” 

“I don’t know,” Steve says truthfully. “But she may know where to start.” 

“What about…” Clint says, then trails off. 

“What about what?” Natasha prompts. 

“I’m just thinking about Scott and some of the shit he talked about when we were on the Raft together,” Clint says. 

Tony can’t conceal his flinch when Clint mentions the Raft. Steve may have decided to move on from their rift, but he feels a sick sense of satisfaction that Tony still feels bad about having some of his closest friends and allies locked up in an underwater supermax prison. 

“We were talking about how his suit worked and he mentioned Pym and something about the quantum realm.” 

Tony’s eyes sharpen at that and he sits up. “Pym, like Hank Pym? _That_ Pym?”

“Yeah. He and Scott were partners.”

“My father used to work with Pym. Ended very badly,” Tony says. 

“We’ve all heard the stories,” Natasha cuts in. “It’s SHIELD history 101. Is this pertinent?” 

“Maybe. Does anyone know anything about the quantum realm? Because I sure don’t,” Clint asks. 

“Only theories,” Thor replies.

“My dad worked on it for a while. I have all of his research back at the compound,” Tony says.

“What’s the quantum realm? Anyone feel like they want to clue in the rest of us?” Steve asks testily. 

“The quantum realm is a dimension in our universe that can only be accessed by subatomic shrinking. So far, it’s largely theoretical. As far as we know, it doesn’t really exist, and there’s no actual way in or out of it,” Bruce explains. 

“It exists, and Scott got out,” Clint says. “He told me he went subatomic once and was able to get back out. But what stuck with me from our conversations is that he said time was different there. Said it felt like he was in there for a lifetime, but when he got out it’d only been seconds.” 

“Is there a point here?” Steve asks. 

“I don’t know,” Clint says. “I’m just talking out loud. But with the Time Stone turning back time, and this quantum stuff being timeless, maybe there’s something there. I don’t know. I’m just the arrows guy, not the idea guy.” 

“Actually, you might be onto something,” Stark says. “Dad had ideas about that. Pym’s wife died on a mission in the late-eighties, but there were always rumors that it had something to do with Pym’s shrinking tech, and that’s why he hung up his suit.” 

“SHIELD files listed her as MIA, not KIA,” Natasha offers. “After Sam brought Scott to Germany, I did some digging. Some of Pym’s old files were part of the Insight data dump. There’s no information about his tech, but there are mission reports from the incident.” 

“Missing in action,” Thor says. “So he thinks she’s still out there somewhere.” 

“She’d be in the quantum realm, where time doesn’t pass, like Scott said,” Clint adds. 

“If Pym’s tech really can get you into the quantum realm, my dad would’ve worked on it with him. It’ll be in his files,” Tony says. 

“Then we need to look at them,” Steve says. 

“We can get ‘em,” Tony agrees, nodding. 

“Fine. Make it happen,” Steve says. He gives the room one more look and then stands and leaves. 

The anger that’s been bubbling in his chest since Clint mentioned the quantum theories is starting to boil over. 

He wants to make a break for it — go see Shuri in her lab, or better yet, to his cabin — but Natasha is hot on his heels. Of course she is.

“Steve,” she calls, but he doesn’t stop. 

He keeps marching forward, determined to escape this argument. He doesn’t want to blow up, not now. He’s been keeping a tight lid on his emotions since everything happened, and he’s on thin ice now. If Natasha forces him to confront his anger, his grief is going to come tumbling right after, and he can’t deal with that right now. 

But when has he ever gotten what he wanted?

“Steve,” Natasha says again, sharper, and she’s caught up with him. She grabs his arm and tugs. 

Her strength is no match for his, they both know that, but he lets himself be turned around. Behind Natasha, Clint is hurrying after them. 

“What?” Steve snaps. 

“What’s going on?” Natasha demands. “We finally have something to go on and you’re storming out.” 

“We’ve been sitting on this intel unknowingly _for two weeks!_ This whole time Barton’s had a theory that could get them back, and he’s said _nothing_.” 

Clint rears back visibly. “Whoa, man,” he says, holding his hands up. 

“You had a theory,” Steve accuses, pointing at Clint and advancing on him quickly. Clint takes two steps back. “We had nothing and you had a fucking theory and didn’t even say anything!” 

“It wasn’t a theory. I had a word, okay, and none of us knew what it meant. Only _Stark_ knew, and he only got here today, so lay off,” Clint says hotly. 

“Shuri might have known! Bruce knew Pym had theories! We could’ve fucking _Googled_ it and gotten somewhere! But you decided to keep it to yourself.” 

“Hey, fuck you, man,” Clint says. “At least I contributed something here. What have you done, other than lay on the couch and mope?” 

Steve sees red. He’s about to tear into Clint but Natasha steps between them. 

“Enough! Enough. Steve, you know damn well this is not on Clint. Walk it off. Clint, get out of here,” she demands. 

Steve’s fists are clenched so hard his nails start to draw blood. He forces his fingers to uncurl and he sees little half-moon pinpricks of blood in his palms. He breathes out of his nose sharply, sounding like a charging bull. He looks at Clint, turns on his feet and stomps away. 

*****

It’s two more days before they’re able to leave Wakanda and get on their way to the compound. Steve spends them pacing. Pacing in his home, pacing down the palace halls, pacing in Shuri’s lab. It gets so bad that she kicks him out and tells him to bother someone else. But now, they’re finally on a jet and on their way to a potential solution. For the first time in weeks, Steve feels a sliver of hope. It’s small, and it’s fragile, but it’s something.

Across the Quinjet, Clint is oiling his bow. Steve sighs, swallows his pride, and walks over. He sits down on the bench next to Clint. He doesn’t know how to break the silence, and he knows Clint won’t. 

“I’m sorry,” he finally says. “I was an ass. It… I know you weren’t deliberately holding back. I just… I’ve been so desperate for any straw to grasp at, and when I found out you maybe had _something_, I lost it. It was unacceptable, and I apologize.” 

“I get it,” Clint says back. “I know how you’re feelin’. They’re my friends, too, you know?” 

Steve’s breath catches in his throat. God, he hadn’t even thought about how Clint’d been taking things. He may still have Nat, but he lost people, too. Steve knows Wanda’s been like a sister to him. 

Suddenly he feels like the shittiest shitheel on the planet. Of course everyone else was feeling like shit. Of course he wasn’t the only one in pain. He saw it in Shuri, her brother gone, but with everyone else he just blocked it out. 

He’s about to lose it, he can feel it, when Clint lays a hand on his arm. 

“We’re going to get them back, Steve.” And the way he says it — so sure, so determined — sets Steve’s heart at ease, if only a fraction. He’s the first person other than Shuri who seems to really believe they might have a shot. 

Steve raises his hand and clenches it around the vial. 

“Yeah,” he finally agrees. “Yeah, we are.” 


	4. Chapter 4

Sam corners Bucky in the kitchen two days later. 

“Cap, why is Wanda avoiding you?” he asks, cutting right to the chase. 

Bucky drops his head on the table and groans out loud. 

“You noticed that, did you.” 

“Of course I noticed. I was going to let you come to me on your own time, but then I realized we’re a team of superheroes who actually get thrown into life-or-death situations at a moment’s notice, so we can’t have a distracted CO or an upset magician.” 

“Don’t let Wanda hear you call her a magician,” Bucky says, his voice muffled by the table. 

“She’s out, I checked. Don’t change the subject.” 

Bucky sighs and rights himself. “For a while I’ve had this feeling that things aren’t quite right. It’s hard to explain, which is why I haven’t, but it’s like… memories that I can’t recall properly, or things on the tip of my tongue that I never actually figure out. You were there for one, actually, with that kid on the playground.” 

“Uh huh,” Sam says. “And how does Wanda fit in?” 

“She’s been feeling the same thing. When we were frozen in Times Square I was more terrified than I’ve ever been, and I have no idea why. She felt it and came to me about it, and we talked. I figured maybe she could find out what was wrong.” 

“So you, what, asked her to look around in your head?” Sam asks. 

“Pretty much, yeah. But as soon as she got in there I started freaking out. She felt it, got out of my head as soon as possible, and now she won’t talk to me.” 

“And you didn’t come to us because…” 

“I guess I didn’t want to worry you, or didn’t want to bring you in until I was sure.” 

“And how did that go for you.” 

Bucky rolls his eyes. “It seemed like a good idea at the time.” 

“Sure it did. Look, I’m not asking you to bring Peter into shit like this, but you should’ve at least talked to Maria or me.” 

“Next time I will.” 

“Man, I hope there won’t be a next time, but we all know there will be. So you come to me immediately, yeah?”

“Yeah, Sam.” 

“Good. Now let’s talk about how you’re going to make it up to Wanda.” 

Bucky groans and drops his head back on the table. 

*****

Wanda comes into the kitchen right as Bucky’s putting the finishing touches on her favorite Sokovian dish. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees her walk in, clock him, and start to leave the room, but the scent of the bubbling stew reaches her and she can’t ignore it. 

“You’re making paprikash,” she says. 

Bucky turns around to look at her. 

“Wanda, I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I put you in a situation you never should’ve been in, especially with me.” 

“You did, but I understand. It’s why I said yes, even though I didn’t want to do it. Neither of us wanted to go to the team with it.” 

“I’m sorry,” Bucky says again.

Wanda crosses over to Bucky and looks into the pot. “It smells good,” she says. “Like home.” 

“I hope it tastes alright. I had to find a recipe online.” 

“I’m sure it’ll be delicious. And if it’s not, at least you tried,” Wanda says teasingly. 

“Are we okay?” he asks her. 

“We’re always okay, Bucky.” 

He moves closer to her and pulls her into a hug. The smell of her shampoo comforts him, and she leans her full body weight on him. He carries it easily. 

“We’ll try again,” she says, when they pull apart. “But I need some time.” 

“As long as it takes,” Bucky agrees. 

Now that he knows how he’s going to react, he should probably take some time to prepare himself, too. Not that he has any idea how to prepare for a panic attack that by all means shouldn’t exist in the first place. 

“Did you get bread? For the paprikash?” Wanda asks, changing the subject. 

“What am I, an amateur? C’mon. I know everyone in this house is a dipper.” 

Wanda grins, showing her teeth and with the sparkle back in her eyes. 

“I’ll go get Peter. He loves paprikash.” 

“Call everyone down. I don’t want to be on the receiving end of complaints about being left out.” 

“Aye aye, cap.” 

* * *

Other than a brief few hours after rescuing Wanda and Vision in London, Steve hasn’t been back to the compound since living there before the Accords. It doesn’t look any different as they lower the Quinjet onto the landing pad on the roof. 

“Weird, isn’t it,” Natasha says quietly, coming up next to him. She’s looking out the window, too, no doubt remembering the same things. 

“It looks small,” Steve says by way of agreement. 

“You going to be okay in there?” she asks. 

Steve shrugs. “I don’t know. If anything was going to trigger me, it was probably going to be our hut. Bucky was never here.” 

“Our friends were,” Natasha reminds him, like he doesn’t already know that. 

“I can’t think about everyone. It’s too much. I can barely wrap my head around the fact that I lost Bucky again. If I think about everyone else, I’ll collapse,” Steve admits, way more honest than he intended to be. 

“I get it, I do. But I know what you’re doing, and I don’t think it’s good for anyone.” 

“I can’t talk about this now, Nat.” 

“You can’t talk about anything, Steve. That’s the whole problem.” 

Steve closes his eyes. “If I promise to talk to you about this later, will you let it go? You’re probably right, but I can’t let my emotions get the best of me right now. Not when we’re about to have to sift through what might be thousands of paper files to find a needle in a haystack that may not even exist.” 

“Fine. But we’re talking before we leave.” 

“Welcome home,” Tony says then, as the plane touches down on the roof. 

Hasn’t been home in a long time, Steve thinks, but he keeps his mouth shut. 

In an unspoken agreement, no one brings up the last time they were all here together, after Lagos, before the Accords. They take the elevator from the landing pad right to the living room. 

He didn’t take the time to look around the last time he was here — not with the immediate threat of Thanos looming over them — but now he does. His eyes sweep over all the surfaces of the kitchen, the couches, the view of the forest beyond the field. Everything looks the same, but everything feels different. It was a home, before. Now, it’s just a room. 

“When did Thor say he’d get here?” Clint asks, dropping his bags on the ground. 

“Little after four,” Tony replies. 

“We should get started anyway,” Steve says. “There’s no use waiting.” 

“FRIDAY, start brewing some coffee,” Tony instructs. “We’re going to need it.” 

“Of course, sir,” FRIDAY responds. “Welcome back, Agents Romanoff, Rogers, and Barton.” 

“Hi, FRIDAY,” Natasha says back pleasantly. 

“The files will be in the sub-basement,” Tony says. “I know I already said this, but Cap—” 

“I know,” Steve interrupts. “We might not find anything. And what we find might not even be accurate. I know.”

“Okay,” Tony says. “Let’s get digging.” 

*****

When a crack of thunder alerts the team to Thor’s arrival, they’re already knee-deep in Howard’s old research. There are dozens of boxes strewn around the common room, and those are just the ones labelled with the correct years.

Thor comes over to Steve and sits down next to him on the floor, dragging a box over to start looking through.

“How’re your people?” Steve asks.

Thor shrugs. “As well as can be expected. Valkyrie is doing a good job keeping them calm and hopeful.” 

“That’s good,” Steve says, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

It’s hours before anyone finds anything even remotely promising. Apparently, some years after Steve went into the ice, Howard Stark became increasingly paranoid and started using codenames and shorthand for all of his files.

Steve has always had a hard time parsing the fact that his old friend Howard — a ladies man, maybe, but a good guy at heart — is the same guy who Tony’s always complaining about. These files are the first time Steve can see inklings of the father Tony knew, rather than the friend Steve did. 

“Dear old dad sure did piss off a lot of people,” Tony says as he tosses another irrelevant file on a pile of rejects. “At least half of these projects ended because of quote, irreconcilable differences, and that’s only the ones he’s _admitted_ ended like that.” 

“Couldn’t he just have written FUCK YOU HANK PYM on the cover of the Pym project and made our lives easier?” Clint grouses. 

“Next time you bitch about someone compromising opsec, I’m reminding you of this moment,” Natasha says. 

“It’s not opsec. It’s abandoned research.” 

“Research that could change the world and modern warfare as we know it,” Bruce reminds him. 

Clint waves a hand through the air. “Sure, sure.” 

“So many things would’ve been easier if Howard wasn’t a dick,” Tony says. 

“Ain’t that the truth,” Steve agrees, before realizing he’s said anything. The situation with Tony is still tense, to say the least, and both of them look up at Steve’s comment. They make eye contact and it’s tight for a second, but then Tony allows a smile to break through. 

“He this way with you, too?” Tony asks. 

They’ve never talked about Steve’s relationship with Howard before. It’s always been too much of a sore subject. 

“Not really,” Steve says, tossing away another file. “He was insufferable to work with, but never malicious.” 

“Lucky,” Stark mumbles, and Steve thinks he probably wasn’t supposed to hear it, so he lets it lie. 

“I may have found something,” Thor interrupts. He’s moved to the couch with Natasha, and leans over to show her the file. “This right here,” he says, pointing, “is what I believe to be code for the Pym Particle.” 

Natasha squints at it. “Could be. Tony?” She takes the papers from Thor and hands them to Tony, via Bruce. 

Tony sits up in his chair and looks over the file. His brows furrow, concentrating hard on the words. 

“Yeah, you’re right.” He stands. “I’m going to see if I can decode the rest of this and see what he’s actually trying to say. You guys keep looking, see if it comes up anywhere else. Brucie, care to join me?” 

*****

Six hours and twelve recovered files later, they decide to call it quits for the night. 

The last time he was here, Steve didn’t go back to his old room, but when it’s time to split up for the night, he finds himself automatically heading towards it.

To get to his own, he has to pass Wanda’s. Her door is open, but he forces himself not to look. He can’t think about her. Not now.

He’s not entirely surprised when he gets to his old bedroom and it’s exactly the way he left it all those years ago. His things being untouched despite everything reminds him of how Tony built the Avengers all their own floors in his home after meeting them just once. 

It makes him feel fond, a little, of Tony, and it’s something he hasn’t felt in a while. 

He finds it’s not unwelcome. He won’t forget what happened with them, what Tony did, but he’s starting to think there may be a path back to genuine friendship. 

It’s weird, getting into his old bed. It dredges up a lot of memories he’s been trying to suppress for the past few years. Like the time Natasha finally let her guard down enough to admit she had nightmares, and asked if she could lay with him for a bit. Or the time Sam got the flu and got quarantined by the rest of the team, so Steve hung out with him and they played video games until he got better. 

Cooking with Wanda and trying her traditional Sokovian dishes. Trying to beat Vision at chess, or anything, really, but never coming close because his mind was _way_ more developed than even Steve’s enhanced tactical mind. 

He has a lot of good memories from before the Accords, he realizes, despite the fact that he spent so much of it agonizing over finding Bucky. He misses them all fiercely, and the emotion starts to overwhelm him. For the first time since Thanos, he lets himself feel them. He lets himself cry. He doesn’t mourn, not for anyone but Vision, who he actually saw die in front of him after he tried so hard to save him, but he lets himself _miss_ them. 

He has experience keeping his sobbing quiet — he didn’t always want Sam to hear him crying over Bucky from the other side of a motel bathroom door. Despite the silence, the sobs wrack his body. It hurts. He hurts. He curls in on himself on the bed, laying in the fetal position and crying into his pillows. In his hand, he clutches his necklace so hard it digs into his palm. 

He cries for what feels like hours until he has no more tears left to cry. 

He takes a few deep breaths, then gets up and pads to his bathroom. He turns on the faucet and leans on the sink, watching the water circle the drain while he catches his breath. Finally, he leans down and splashes the water in his face, washing away the salty tears dried there. 

He sighs, turns off the faucet, and looks at himself in the mirror. His eyes are puffy and red, and the bags under them are impressive. He never needed much sleep after the serum, but “not much” is more than “none at all”, and he hasn’t exactly been sleeping. He doubts he’ll get much tonight either, in a bed that’s not really his own anymore. 

He studies the non-existent lines on his face. He and Bucky would joke that Bucky finally looked older than Steve, having lived years outside of cryo while Steve slept in the ice, getting enough beauty sleep to last him decades. 

Secretly, Steve worries that he’ll never really age. Never catch up with Bucky, and he’ll outlive everyone he knows and loves — again. 

He takes another deep breath, and starts buttoning his emotions back up. He wasn’t kidding when he said he’d be useless to the team if he succumbs to them. He let them out, and now it’s time to put them back where he can’t reach them. 

At least until Natasha forces them out again, which he doesn’t doubt she will. 

He turns away from the mirror, takes two steps to his bedroom, and stops dead in his tracks. Suddenly, overwhelmingly, he feels Bucky. He could swear he senses Bucky right there in the room with him. He even turns, looks behind him, to see if maybe, somehow Bucky materialized in the room. He’s met with nothing but the empty bathroom, and the tears Steve so carefully put away start to well up in his eyes again. 

“Bucky,” he whispers to nothing. 

He knows he’s imagining it — Bucky isn’t here. Bucky never even set foot in the compound. 

In another moment, the overwhelming feeling passes.

He chalks it up to letting himself miss Bucky, and goes back to the bed. 

He lays his head on the pillow, but doesn’t sleep. 

*****

Natasha corners him the next morning when he’s pouring cereal into a bowl. 

“Let’s go spar,” she says. 

Bruce and Tony are in the lab with Howard’s documents, and Thor’s gone off to Valkyrie once again. There’s nothing else for them to do, not right now, so he says yes. 

An hour later, Steve is drenched in sweat. Natasha has not pulled any punches, and he feels bruises on his skin that’ll be gone by the time he hits the showers. 

“Are you ready to talk?” Natasha asks as they’re circling each other on the mat. 

“Do I have a choice?” 

Natasha grins, and the blood from her split lip coats her teeth. The effect is menacing. 

“Your teeth are covered in blood,” Steve tells her. “You look real fierce.” 

“The blood of my enemies. I drink it for breakfast,” Natasha says. 

“You’re a liar. You drink milk for breakfast. You drink _my_ milk for breakfast,” Steve counters. 

“I’m a scary assassin, Rogers. You should fear me,” Nat says. 

“The most feared assassin of the twenty-first century slept in my bed every night for a year. I think I can handle you, little spider,” Steve jokes. 

Natasha laughs, then rushes him and slams his body onto the mat. She lands on top of him, and both of them pant for a minute, looking at each other closely, until she rolls off of him. 

They lay beside each other on the mat, staring up at the gym ceiling. It’s covered in rigging for training exercises. Wanda used to use it as a swing in her downtime. 

“I’m scared, Nat,” Steve admits quietly. 

Her hand covers his, and he holds it tightly. 

“Me, too,” she says. “I want them back. I miss them. I miss Sam.” 

“Like a fucking limb,” Steve agrees. “I don’t know what I would’ve done if you were gone, too.” 

“I’m here. I won’t leave you,” Natasha promises. 

“You better not. There’s no one else left who knows me.” 

He feels raw, admitting that out loud, even though he knows Nat knows. 

“You, too, Rogers.” 

“You have Clint,” Steve reminds her. 

“It’s different. What Clint and I are… it’s messy, and codependent, and he’s a part of me as much as my bones. If he died, I’d lose myself. If you died, I’d be wrecked, but I’d be able to keep living. No offense.” 

“None taken.” 

“You’re stronger than I am, in that sense.” 

Steve laughs. “Believe me, I’m not.” 

“You’ve lost him so many times, and you never lose hope that you’ll get him back.” 

“I have to hope,” Steve says. “If I don’t… I can’t think about what’ll happen if we lose.” 

“We won’t. I know I’ve been trying to be a voice of reason, but I promise I will not rest until we’ve exhausted all options to get them back.” 

“I love you, Nat.” 

“Gross,” Natasha replies. 

He tugs on her hand and pulls her closer to him. She rolls to her side and puts her head on Steve’s chest. He wraps his arm around her shoulders and breathes her in. 

*****

“Even as a technological duplication, the stone doesn’t want to be studied,” Shuri says, appearing as a hologram in Stark’s lab a few days later. 

Bruce and Tony have finally decoded Howard’s notes and are working hard to continue where he left off. Howard never was able to duplicate Pym’s research, and Pym’s had decades to perfect his formulas since then. 

“What does that mean?” Steve asks. 

“It means that every time I try to get a look at its core, it shuts down my entire lab. And it’s not my system, I checked. It’s targeting the specific electronic components that allowed me to scan it in the first place, and every time it manages to wipe half its data. I worry that if I keep inspecting it the way I have been, it’ll eventually manage to erase everything we have.” 

“Okay, so studying the stone is out for now. We can try to work on a solution to the wiping when we get back. Until then, we’ll focus on Pym’s theories,” Stark says. 

“Have you finally cracked it, then?” Shuri asks. 

“We’re close,” Bruce says. “There are a few more components whose calculations aren’t checking out. But we think if we’re able to get the right formula, we’ll be able to replicate part of Pym’s research.” 

“Come back and bring it here,” Shuri says. “I can help. Now that my focus is no longer on the stone, I’m sure I’ll be able to help you along.” 

“We’ll be there tomorrow,” Steve tells her. 

* * *

Bucky walks into his bedroom and stops dead. 

“Sam,” he says, evenly but forcefully. 

“Yeah?” Sam calls from down the hall. 

“Come in here, now.” 

Sam is in his doorway within seconds, hearing the urgency in Bucky’s voice. He doesn’t have guns on him, not in their home, but Bucky can tell he’s tensed and braced for an attack. 

“What—”

“Do you feel that?” Bucky asks. 

“Feel what?” Sam says, confused. He looks around the room and finds nothing, but the tension rolling off Bucky in waves keeps him on his toes.

“Someone—something’s in here. Do you feel it?” 

Sam frowns. “I don’t feel anything.” 

Bucky feels simultaneously nervous and at-ease. The idea of something in his space, something he can’t see or identify, puts him on edge, but the feeling itself… it feels warm. Familiar. Like a memory of his mom hugging him when he was a kid. 

A flash of blonde crosses his mind, but it’s gone before he can process it. 

“You really don’t feel it?” Bucky asks, but even as he says it, the feeling starts to dissipate, like whatever it was moved on. 

“Barnes, are you okay?” Sam asks, and Bucky knows it’s serious, because Sam only last-names him when he’s nervous. 

“I’m fine,” Bucky replies. “I just…” He casts his gaze around the room, but everything is exactly the same as he left it, down to the dirty socks that didn’t quite make it into the hamper. 

“If you’re feeling things that aren’t there and still having that weird thing going on with your mind…” 

“I’m fine, Sam,” Bucky promises. “It’s gone. I was imagining things. I’m sorry for calling you in here.” 

“If you say so, man,” Sam says, skeptical. 

“I’m going to take a shower. I’ll see you later for dinner.” 

Sam looks him up and down, but takes that as the dismissal it is. 

When he’s alone, Bucky sits on the edge of his bed with shaky legs. He’s fine, _technically,_ but he’s also a whole lot of not-fine. And he’s definitely not imagining things.

He promised Wanda he wouldn't push, and as far as he knows, she’s the only one who might be able to dig around in his mind and get some answers. He doesn’t want to make her more uncomfortable than he already has, but at the same time, they don’t know what they’re dealing with, and it could very well be dangerous. 

He doesn’t think it is — none of the shit that’s happened felt dangerous, but you never know. 

What if this happens again when they’re out in the field? What if he stalls? What if he can’t protect one of his team members, or an innocent bystander, because a nagging feeling way back in his mind is telling him something’s wrong?

He gets up and walks to the bathroom to take that shower he told Sam about. He doesn’t want to dwell on this right now. Not when he’s no closer to figuring out what’s going on. 

Besides, maybe it’s just a phase. The change of seasons. The after-effects of being frozen by the kid in Times Square. 

He forcefully puts it out of his mind. It’s something for future-Bucky to deal with. 


	5. Chapter 5

He doesn’t have another chance to think of the phantom memories or the not-quite-there people in his room. Early the next morning, Bucky’s summoned by Sam. 

“Uh, Cap, you wanna join us in the kitchen?” he calls from the common room. Bucky’s in his bedroom and pads down the hall quickly after being called. 

“What’s u—” he cuts himself off when he’s faced with Director Fury, drinking a cup of coffee in his — their — kitchen. 

“Director Fury. Hi,” he says, awkward as fuck, because he’s in his pajamas, which isn’t exactly how he likes to present himself to his boss. 

“Guys, Fury is com—” Maria shouts as she rounds the corner, but then she stops short when she sees Fury. “Oh. Hi, Nick.” 

“Maria,” Fury says, bowing his head in an acknowledging nod. 

“Well, sorry for the lack of heads up, guys. The director’s coming,” Maria says. 

“You don’t say.” Sam’s smile is wry. 

“We need to talk,” Fury says. 

“I’ll get the kids,” Bucky sighs. 

The six of them are in the briefing room, half the team still in pajamas, and Peter with a case of bed head so severe, Bucky can’t look at him without having to bite his lip to keep from laughing. 

“What’s going on?” Bucky asks. Something big must be happening for Fury to actually show up at the compound, rather than just conferencing in. 

“We’ve been picking up some strange readings a few hours north of here,” Fury says. 

“Strange how?” Maria asks. 

“SHIELD routinely sweeps the globe for frequencies that are outside the norm. To catch potential threats before they can happen. The kind of threats _you_ would deal with,” Fury explains. 

“Magic?” Sam asks. 

“Maybe,” Fury replies. “We don’t know. That’s why we need you to check it out.” 

“All of us? Is this a full team op?” Bucky asks. 

“No,” Fury says. “I want you, Hill and Wanda to go.” 

Peter starts to groan but catches himself when Fury turns his eye on him. He mimes zipping his lips and throwing away the key. 

“You need me to see if I recognize it?” Wanda asks. 

Fury nods. “The power source is emitting traces that are similar to the ones we’ve recorded when you do your thing. We figure if anyone is going to know what it is, it’ll be you.” 

“Has anyone done any surveillance?” Maria asks. “I don’t want us going in blind.” 

“You’re not going _in_ anywhere,” Fury says. “This is recon only. Stake out the perimeter, get Wanda close enough to see if she recognizes it, and come back immediately with whatever information you can get. The traces are coming from what looks like an abandoned railroad station. You are _not _to enter this station under any circumstances, do I make myself clear?” 

“Crystal,” Bucky confirms. 

*****

They leave at nightfall for cover, and it takes them a little under an hour in a Quinjet to get to the railroad station. 

“Think you’ll be able to feel it through the hull, or will we need to land?” Maria asks when they’re about a mile out. 

“I think I’ll need to be outside to feel it,” Wanda answers. 

“We’ll be with you,” Bucky promises. 

“I’m not nervous,” Wanda says. “Curious, maybe. I’ve never seen anything like my powers other than myself.” 

“That makes two of us, kid,” Bucky replies. 

They land a couple hundred yards away from the train station behind a copse of trees. From here, it looks empty, but there’s a crackle of electricity in the air that makes Bucky thinks there’s more going on than meets the eye. 

“I definitely feel something,” Wanda whispers. “It’s familiar. Like…” she looks at Bucky. “Like a memory.” 

Her meaning is not lost on Bucky, and it spikes anxiety in his gut. 

He has to ask anyway, to be sure. “Like…?”

“Yes.” 

“Anyone wanna fill me in on the conversation you’re having?” Maria asks. 

“Later,” Bucky assures her. 

“Then let’s get out of here. We got what we came for; Wanda confirmed it’s familiar and that’s enough to bring to Fury. I don’t want to get closer without more intel,” Maria says. 

Bucky nods. They head back to the jet.

From suit up to debrief, the whole mission takes only three hours. Quick and easy.

When Bucky sleeps that night, there’s a blond man in his dreams. When he wakes, he misses him fiercely. 

*****

The team is having Sunday morning breakfast together when the emergency alarm starts blaring through the compound. 

Sam groans. Peter gets visibly excited. 

“I barely even started my toast,” Maria sighs. 

“Let’s hustle,” Bucky says, grabbing his pancake off the plate with his hand and shoving it in his mouth as they all half-jog to the briefing room. 

When they get there, the hologram of Fury is already waiting. 

“Whatever we found knows we found it. Either that, or this is a damn big coincidence, but the same trace we found in that train station has exploded all over the Tri-State area,” Fury says urgently. “Our monitors are going haywire. There seems to be mass movement from dozens of cities around the epicenter. We speculate they’re being mind controlled.” 

“Holy shit,” Sam breathes. 

“Suit up immediately and get in the Quinjet. We’ll continue the brief en route. This could get ugly, and fast.”

* * *

Steve feels like he lives in Shuri’s lab these days, but he can’t bring himself to go home. The hut keeps bringing up painful memories, and besides, he doesn’t want to be too far if they discover something. 

He’s dragged a set of couches from one of the neighboring rooms to a corner in the lab, which got him the stink eye from some passing Dora Milaje, but Shuri didn’t seem to mind. 

Shuri and Tony have barely come up for air since they returned from the compound with Howard’s notes, and if they’re working, Steve is in the lab. 

“I think…” Shuri says, then trails off. 

“What if?” Tony starts. 

“I don’t know…” 

“But we could—?” 

“The particles wouldn’t connect.” 

“Opposite might—”

“Perhaps, with different components. How about...” 

“Oh, maybe. Let’s try that.” 

It’s hours on end of the two of them riffing off each other. At first, Steve found it irritating. Now, it’s the almost-soothing soundtrack of his despair. 

Steve is tossing a stress ball up in the air, still trying to wrap his head around the moment he felt Bucky at the compound. It’s been days, but he just can’t let it go. 

Rationally, he knows the moment was nothing more than his grief talking. In a moment of vulnerability, he let his guard down and his subconscious brought up a more vivid memory of Bucky.

Except… if that’s all it is, why hasn’t it happened again? And more than that, why did it happen there. Why would those feelings of Bucky have been triggered at the compound and not in their own home? Why did the moment pass so abruptly? It’s not like he got over missing him from one second to the next.

He tosses the stress ball back in the air. 

Up, catch. Up, catch. 

Steve closes his eyes and tries to summon the feeling again. Nothing happens. Of course it doesn’t, because Bucky’s gone. Because Steve saw Bucky disappear right in front of his very eyes when Thanos snapped and killed him. Because all that Steve has left of Bucky is in a goddamn necklace around Steve’s neck. 

“Do they ever finish their sentences?” Clint asks, interrupting Steve’s thoughts as he drops down on the floor in front of the couch Steve’s spread across. 

“Nope,” Natasha says. She’s in the chair opposite him. 

“Scary.” 

“You guys do that,” Steve points out. 

“Yeah, but we’ve known each other for a decade,” Clint replies. 

Steve shrugs. 

Up, catch. 

“Where’s Banner?” Clint asks. 

“Had to take a walk,” Steve says. “Got frustrated. Can’t blame him.” 

“Do you think they have special alcohol in Wakanda?” Clint wonders aloud. “Some that could get you a little toasted?” 

“They do,” Steve says. “Shuri made it for me and Bucky. It’s pretty good. Lasts about an hour.” 

“Can we get some?” Clint asks. 

“If you wanna go to my house and get some, sure,” Steve says. 

“She doesn’t keep any here?” Natasha asks. 

“Dunno. You could ask her, if you feel like interrupting the science. I highly recommend you don’t, though. I got banished.” 

“Is that why you’re so cranky?” Clint asks. 

“Clint!” Natasha scolds, leaning over to smack him. 

“I’m cranky because the love of my life, half my friends, and half the world fucking died,” Steve replies. 

Clint and Natasha are stunned to silence. Or at least, Steve assumes they’re stunned. He doesn’t actually look at them. Just keeps throwing his ball. 

Up. 

Catch. 

“They’re not dead,” Clint finally pipes up. “You said so yourself. They’re just… gone.” 

Steve sits up to look at Clint. “Gone where? God, it’s been weeks and we have nothing! We have nothing, Clint.” 

“I wouldn’t give up on us so soon, Cap,” comes Tony’s voice from the other side of the lab. 

Clint, Natasha, and Steve perk up and turn to look at him. 

“You have something?” Steve asks, eyes wide. 

“We have something,” Stark confirms. 

Steve is up like a shot.

“We may have something,” Shuri tempers. “Right now, it’s only a theory, but I will admit it is a good one. Better than any we’ve had so far.” 

“Tell me,” Steve demands. 

“You need a shower,” Tony says, nose wrinkled, when Steve gets close enough. 

“Bite me,” Steve snarks. 

“Men,” Shuri groans, rolling her eyes. “I will have someone fetch Dr. Banner. He will want to hear this as well.” 

Steve thinks he might explode if Shuri makes him wait for information. The stress ball in his hand pops and sand spills onto the floor. 

“Steve, while we wait, can I talk to you in private for a moment?” Shuri asks, looking at him pointedly. 

Everything in Steve wants to scream, say no, he needs to know what lead they have, but the look in her eye gets him to nod his head in acquiescence. 

Shuri leads him out of the lab, but they don’t stray far. There’s an exit Steve never knew about around two corners and a handprint activated door. Shuri takes him outside, and they look over the vast landscape of Wakanda. 

If Steve didn’t know any better, he never would’ve known a devastating battle was fought just hundreds of yards beyond where they’re standing. 

“I have to ask you something,” Shuri says. 

“Anything,” Steve says, and he means it. He will give this girl anything he can possibly give. 

“This is going to sound strange, but please listen and give me the benefit of the doubt before you say it is merely my grief talking.” She pauses and looks at him. When he nods, she continues. 

“A few times when I have left the lab and gone to the throne room to talk to Nakia, I’ve felt… I have felt like T’Challa may have been there. Not been there in the past, but like I can feel his presence there while I am there,” she says. 

Steve can’t reply. His heart is pounding so hard he thinks Shuri can hear it. So it wasn’t just his imagination. It wasn’t just Bucky, it was Shuri and T’Challa, too, and who knows how many other people have felt their loved ones but were too afraid to admit it out loud. 

“Do you think I’m crazy?” Shuri asks, small, misinterpreting his silence. 

“No. Shuri, no. I’ve felt it, too. When I was in the compound, I swore I felt Bucky, like he was right there. I could almost smell him. I couldn’t believe it, but if you’ve felt T’Challa it must’ve been real,” Steve says in a rush. 

“Bucky never was in the compound, was he? It could not be some essence remaining after a long time?” She sounds hopeful when she asks. 

“No. Never. If I felt him, and I know I felt him, he had to have been there, somehow, somewhere, at the same time.” 

“I’m starting to think our friends are not as far gone as I originally thought.” 

“I thought you believed they were still alive somehow?” 

Shuri nods. “I wanted to believe, and I did, on some level. But I also forced myself to entertain the possibility that they would never come back and were truly dead. When I felt my brother…” 

Steve pulls her into a hug. “We’re going to get them back.” 

Hearing Shuri confirm his theory of feeling Bucky shifts Steve’s mood and perception entirely. 

They’re alive. 

* * *

The tension on the Quinjet is thick as molasses. Whatever they’re about to face, it’ll be the biggest thing they’ve faced together as a team. Even Peter seems nervous, as opposed to his usual excited energy. 

“Five minutes,” Maria announces from the control panel. 

“Weapons check,” Bucky instructs. 

Wanda and Peter don’t really have weapons, but they each have their own pre-fight ritual to go over. 

Bucky checks over his shield, makes sure all his straps are tight, secures his kevlar in place. 

“There won’t be time to assess the situation when we’re on the ground,” Bucky says. “We’re acting under the assumption that everyone is an unwilling civilian. We are not, under any circumstances, aiming to kill. 

“They’re functioning as a hive and protecting something at their center. Whatever’s controlling them is probably there. Wanda, we’re going to get you close. I hate to do this again, but if we can’t stop it the regular way, you’re going to have to use your magic to shut it down.” 

Wanda nods and flexes her fists. 

“Sam’s on fly-over, see if he can see what’s going on. Until we have more information, our main priority is de-escalation and keeping civilians safe.” 

“Get ready,” Maria says from the cockpit as the Quinjet touches the ground. 

“If anything happens, you report on comms immediately,” Bucky reminds them. 

“We got it, Cap,” Peter says. 

The hatch of the jet opens, and they’re immediately hit with a wall of sound — people screaming, alarms blaring. 

“Let’s go.” 

The fight is brutal. The civilians seem to have no regard for their own safety at all, and are willingly sacrificing themselves to keep Bucky and his team at bay. 

Many of them are armed, and Sam’s been dodging so much fire he can’t get close enough to see what’s going on. 

“I can’t tell what it is,” he yells, breathless, over the comms. “It looks like something is glowing. Something small. Maybe a… I don’t know, man... A radioactive block or something. I’m sorry, Cap, I can’t get closer.” 

“Get down here and help us. Change of plans. Do not use lethal force but do whatever you can do incapacitate these people. We need to get Wanda up on that platform.” 

As he says it, Bucky lands a punch against someone’s temple that’ll keep him out for at least a few hours. “Sorry, sorry,” he whispers under his breath, as he repeats the move on a teenage girl who’s coming at him with an axe. 

Peter’s above them, swinging between lampposts, webbing civilians to the ground, and Maria’s trying to get around a group of children she’s unwilling to hurt. 

“Peter, get those kids on Maria,” Bucky orders. “Then get the group up there with the machine guns protecting the platform.” 

“Got it!” 

“The magic is powerful,” Wanda says over comms. “I can feel it. It feels like mine. I don’t know if I’ll be able to stop it.” 

“You can do it, Wanda,” Bucky grunts as he puts someone in a headlock, blocking off their air supply until they go limp, but not enough to kill them. 

He doesn’t say that he doesn’t know what the hell they’ll do if Wanda can’t. 

They fight for what feels like hours, and Bucky feels the exhaustion deep in his bones. There are hundreds of bodies laying in his wake, and although he knows he didn’t harm anyone beyond repair, the guilt of hurting innocent people is killing him. 

Over and over, he tells himself it’s not for nothing, because they’re finally there, at the platform where a maniacal sorceress is holding a staff with a glowing yellow center. 

Bucky is straining against the metal gate surrounding her that feels like it’s actively trying to push him back. Sam’s by his side, and between the two of them, they’re able to keep it open far and long enough for Wanda to slip through. 

The woman wielding the staff has wild eyes and her hair floats around her head like it’s alive. She’s shielded by an invisible dome that neither Maria’s bullets nor Wanda’s magic can get through. 

From the roof of a nearby building, Maria rains a hail of bullets down, but none of them so much as make a dent. They just hit the barrier and slide down the side. 

“Peter, try a web,” Sam instructs. 

He does, and the web penetrates the dome effortlessly.

“Bulletproof, not spider-proof,” he says triumphantly. 

“Web that thing away from her,” Bucky says. “Get it to Wanda.” 

Peter does. Shoots his web at the sorceress’s staff and manages to jerk it out of her arms. 

As soon as Wanda has the staff in her hands, she goes still. It feels like the rest of the world does, too.

“I can feel it,” she says, curiously. “It… knows me.” 

In Bucky’s periphery, Peter webs the woman’s hands together in a makeshift restraint. She screams something in the language they can’t understand, but nothing happens. She’s silent, then, and maybe Peter’s webbed her mouth shut. Bucky doesn’t know. He only looks at Wanda. 

“Wanda, be careful,” Sam warns. “You don’t know what that thing is.” 

Bucky can’t take his eyes off Wanda’s curious gaze. She’s staring at the staff like it has the answers to all her questions. Like she knows exactly what’s inside. 

“Wanda,” he warns. 

“It’s okay,” she says. “It’s not dangerous.” 

“You don’t know that,” Sam says. 

“Cap, I think the shield is down!” Peter calls out. 

“On it,” Maria says, and immediately two gunshots ring out. They hit the sorceress square in the chest, and she keels over backwards, hitting the ground with a thump. 

Immediately, the remaining civilians behind them stop their onslaught. 

“Tell me you didn’t just shoot her,” Sam groans. 

“Course not,” Maria answers casually. “Stunned.” 

“Good. I want to know where the hell she got that thing,” Bucky says, his eyes still on Wanda. 

Wanda holds the staff in one hand, and around the other, red swirls fill the air. 

“Wanda, no!” Sam yells. 

The staff disintegrates in front of their very eyes. Whatever was powering it stays, floating in mid-air. It’s a yellow orb, surrounded by the red streaks of Wanda’s magic. 

“Do not touch that,” Bucky warns. 

“It’s okay,” Wanda says again. She closes her hands around the glowing orb. 

Her eyes go wide. She drops to her knees. And screams. 


	6. Chapter 6

True to their word, Tony and Shuri finish the tracker in a little under a week. 

“How will we know if it actually works?” Natasha asks. 

“Excuse you, I made it. It works,” Tony replies, offended. 

Shuri glares at him. “Though I am 99% certain it’ll pinpoint the area exactly, we will only know for certain that it worked if we arrive and find Pym’s lab in that location.” 

There’s an unspoken agreement about who will go to investigate — as far as teams go, Steve and Nat make the best one, and if Natasha’s going, so is Clint. 

“So how does this work?” Clint asks. “Is it like a metal detector? The closer we get to the lab, the louder it’ll beep?” 

Shuri rolls her eyes. “We’ll use Mr. Stark’s satellites to scan the globe and this device here will show us the exact coordinates once it finds what we’ve programmed them to look for.”

“Sounds good to me,” Steve says. “We waiting for anything or can we do it now?”

They look around and Tony shrugs. 

“Now is good.” 

“Here it goes,” Shuri says, and she presses a button on the device. 

Nothing happens. 

“Is it… doing anything?” Clint asks uncertainly. 

“Yes, it is scanning. There’s just nothing to see until the scan is finished.” 

“This feels anticlimactic,” Natasha says, reading Steve’s mind aloud. 

“Next time we will build in some flashy lights for you,” Shuri says, but it’s without bite.

They stand around and wait for about two minutes. The only way it could be more painfully awkward is if there were elevator music playing. 

The device beeps.

“That’s it? We know where the lab is?” Steve asks. 

“That’s it. It says here that the lab is located in California. I will forward the coordinates to your Kimoyo beads and one of our jets. It will take you straight to the coordinates,” Shuri tells them. 

“Okay,” Steve says. “Let’s go.” 

*****

Even when Steve was a fugitive and flying jets under the radar, there were other planes to look out for, other aircrafts to alert to their position. 

Now, there’s nothing. 

They’re the only aircraft flying over the entirety of California, and it’s one of the weirdest things Steve’s ever experienced. Even on the ground, they can see that the telltale San Francisco traffic is nowhere to be seen. 

“Eerie as hell,” Clint says, peering out the window. 

“Rhodey says it’s mostly under control,” Natasha says. “Apparently—” 

“That’s the building,” Steve interrupts, not wanting to hear the rest of what Natasha has to say. 

Natasha gets the hint. “I’ll approach from the South and land on the flat side over there.” 

When the hatch of the Quinjet opens, there’s not as much noise as Steve’s expecting. When they step outside, it smells weird. He’s not sure what it is, but something is off. It’s unsettling. 

“It’s quiet,” Clint says. 

“City dropped from 900 thousand to four-fifty,” Natasha replies. “Not enough people to make the noise we’re used to.” 

“I hate this,” says Clint. 

“Focus,” Steve reminds them. He agrees with Clint, of course he does, but they’re not here to get bogged down by… the rest of the world. They have one job, and one job only — get everyone back. If they fail, then they can worry about helping the world. Right now that’s not an option. 

It doesn’t take long for them to locate what pinged the satellites. There’s a workstation a few yards ahead next to a van. On the roof. 

“How do you even get a van up here?” Natasha wonders as they approach. 

“They shrink ‘em,” Clint tells her. “Scott told me Pym has a whole Hot Wheels set of miniature cars they can grow and use in a second.” 

“Convenient.”

“Could’ve used one in Germany,” Steve says. “Sam and Buck did not like the VW I picked out.” 

Clint snorts a laugh. 

“What are we looking at here?” Natasha asks when they make it to the vehicle. 

There’s none of the dust that marked someone’s disappearance, but this long after the snap and with constant exposure to the elements, there wouldn’t be.

“I’ll check the front,” Clint says, and disappears around the other side of the van. 

Steve nods and starts checking out the mobile workstation. It’s clear someone was here, and he feels safe in the assumption that it was Pym & co. 

“Clear,” Clint calls from the front. 

There’s a device that looks like an old fashioned walkie talkie hanging from an old phone wire, dangling slightly in the wind. Steve picks it up and holds it up to his ear. He hears nothing. 

He presses the button to activate the microphone and immediately hears the thump of a body, followed by a groan and some expletives. 

He looks up, eyebrows climbing up his forehead, just as Nat opens the back doors to the van. 

“What the _fuck,_ Hank!” Scott Lang yells as he tumbles gracelessly out of the van. 

“Uh… I think we found Scott.” 

* * *

“Wanda!” Bucky screams, throwing his body back against the metal gate with vigor. He needs to get to her. He needs to break through this fucking gate. 

“Wanda, can you hear me?” he yells. 

Wanda doesn’t move, doesn’t stop screaming like her life depends on it. She’s on her knees, her hands clamped around her ears and her eyes shut tight. 

“I got her!” Peter says, webbing over and landing in front of her. “Wanda, I got you,” he says. He touches a hand to her shoulder, and she immediately lashes out. In less than a second, Peter’s thrown into the wall and crumples. 

“Peter!” 

“What’s happening?!” Maria asks frantically through their ear pieces. She must be running down the stairs of the building she was using as a vantage point, because her breathing’s coming quick. 

“She touched the stone, something happened, we don’t know,” Sam rambles back. “She got Peter, he’s down.” 

“Sam, help me get this fucking thing open,” Bucky demands, and starts pulling on the gate. Between his and Sam’s strength, plus his metal arm, they’re able to bend the spokes of the gate just enough for Bucky, and then Sam, to slip through. 

“Sam, get Peter,” Bucky orders as he runs to Wanda. She’s surrounded by a halo of her magic and he’s afraid to touch her, but he’s not afraid of _her_. He can get her out of this. 

“Wanda, hey, honey, can you hear me?” he tries. He crouches in front of her. Her eyes are no longer shut tight. They’re wide open and she’s absolutely terrified. Tears stream down her face. 

“Wanda,” he tries again, more insistent this time. 

Wanda finally looks at him, no less afraid. 

“Bucky,” she says, and he’s never heard her sound so broken. “The Winter Soldier. Pietro. Vision. _Steve._ We were right. We were right. We were right.” 

“Wanda, I don’t understand. Please lower your shields. Let me help you,” he begs. 

Wanda turns her head sharply, looking in the direction of Sam and Peter. Peter’s up and moving, and a weight lifts off Bucky’s shoulders. 

“Peter,” she says. 

“He’s okay. Sam, confirm, is Parker okay?”

“A little banged up, but he’s moving,” he calls back. 

“See? Peter’s fine. It’s okay. Wanda, please, lower your shields,” Bucky begs again. 

She looks back at him and the red around her dissipates. 

“Bucky,” she says again, and this time she sounds like she’s in pain. 

“What is it, Wanda? Let me help you.” 

“Bucky…” 

Wanda reaches out her hand and Bucky doesn’t hesitate before taking it in his. 

For a second, nothing happens. Then… 

“Steve?”

*****

Everything rushes through Bucky at once. Steve, Thanos, Wakanda, Shuri, Berlin, Zemo, Stark, Insight, the murders, the killing, the War, Brooklyn, Steve, Steve, _Steve._

His head is so full it feels like it’ll burst. His heart is pounding in his throat. Steve. _Steve_. It happened again. He lost him again. 

He leans over and retches. 

“I’m sorry,” Wanda says. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. I didn’t remember. I couldn’t find it. I couldn’t fix it. This, the, the orb, it’s the stone. Bucky, it’s the Mind Stone. It’s what gave me my powers. It’s _Vision. _God, my brother. Bucky my brother is dead. It’s too much. It’s _too much_. It hurts. My head hurts. I can’t take it, Bucky I can’t. I _can’t_,” she rattles. 

“Sam, get over here now,” Bucky grunts. 

“Cap, what’s wrong?” Sam calls back and in the next moment he’s right next to Bucky. 

The enormity of everything he’s remembering is overpowering. He can’t think straight. 

“Sam, I need you to trust me,” he grits out. “I need you to get us home. I can’t—” he takes a deep breath, clenches his fists “—I can’t do it. Get us ho-me. Me ’n Wanda ‘re not doin’ so good.” 

“Barnes, Bucky, what the hell happened?” Sam demands. “The sorceress is down, what the _hell_ happened?”

Bucky can see the panic in Sam’s face, hear it in his voice. He can’t deal with it now. His head is going to explode. 

“Sam, take charge, get us home, I don’t care what you have to do to get us out of here but do it fast,” he insists. 

Wanda is back to clutching her head, muttering to herself and rocking back and forth. 

“Wanda, honey, it’s going to be okay,” Bucky manages. “C’mon, look at me. Look at me, Wanda, look at me,” he says, over and over, barely hearing himself speak. He doesn’t even know what he’s saying. All he knows is that he is here and Steve is not and he has all these memories that aren’t even real and if he doesn’t get out of here right the fuck now he’s going to lose it he can’t take it anymore he can’t he can’t he can’t — 

“C’mon, Cap, get up.” And Sam is back, helping him up, and leading him onto the jet. 

“Peter?” Bucky asks, trying to force down his… his life, his other life, and focus on now, because just because he doesn’t think it can be _real_ doesn’t mean it’s not _happening_ and Peter was hurt, Peter was injured, and Peter is a _kid_ and he’s Bucky’s to take care of and —

“Peter’s fine. He’s already on the jet. Maria’s taking the sorceress into custody and SHIELD’s here to help,” Sam explains in a soothing tone. 

SHIELD makes his hackles raise, freaks him out, because could it have happened here, too? Is SHIELD Hydra? He wants to say no, he would’ve noticed, but would he have, if he didn’t know to look? 

They’re on the jet, and it’s taking off, and he sits down on the ground next to Wanda. He thinks maybe Sam is talking to him, and Sam must be seriously freaked out, but Bucky has other priorities right now, and when they, when Wanda gives Sam his memories back — oh God — Sam will understand. 

Wanda still hasn’t stopped crying. 

“I couldn’t save him,” she whispers. “I couldn’t save either of them.” 

Bucky doesn’t really know who “they” are. He thinks the first is probably Vision, he knows Vision, from Steve (_Steve_)’s stories, and he knows that’s who they were trying to protect when Thanos’s army got to Wakanda. The other is probably her brother, but he’s never known her to have a brother. Not here, not back there, back… home? Wherever they were before, where Steve is, where his _life_ is. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Bucky says, because it wasn’t, no matter what. He may not know all of Wanda, but he knows her soul, and he knows that no matter what happened, it could never have been Wanda’s fault. 

“I couldn’t stop him. I destroyed Vision to stop him, but it didn’t even matter,” Wanda whispers. 

Bucky takes her hand in his and squeezes tightly. 

“It’s going to be okay,” he says. 

“How do you know?” 

“I don’t know,” Bucky answers truthfully. “But I’m not going to stop trying until we get… them? Back? I don’t know what the fuck happened but we’re going to fix it. I promise.” 


	7. Chapter 7

Natasha, Clint, and Steve stand, dumbfounded, with Ant-Man face down in a heap on the floor between them. 

“What the hell?” Clint says, and yeah, that sounds about right. 

Scott groans and rolls over, blinks and squints up at the sun. He blinks again, and then finally seems to realize who he’s with. 

“Captain America?” he asks, his brows furrowed in obvious confusion. 

“Hi, Scott,” Steve replies, then leans down to offer his hand. Scott grasps it and lets Steve lever him upright. 

Scott looks around at the three of them. Clint looks arguably as shocked as Scott himself does, and Nat seems to be suppressing a smile. 

“What the hell?” Clint repeats. 

“Yeah, does someone mind telling _me_ what the hell?” Scott asks. “Where are Hope and Janet and Pym? What are you guys doing here? Why are you guys here? What’s going on? Why does my head hurt?” he finishes, groaning again and rubbing at his eyes with his fists. 

“You want the long version or the short version?” Steve asks. 

“Give him the short version,” Natasha cuts in. “We can tell him the long version on the way back.” 

“The way back where?” Scott asks. 

“Wakanda,” Natasha says. 

“Ooookay. I can’t just go to Wakanda. I mean, I’m kind of in the middle of something here with Pym, and—” 

“Scott,” Steve interrupts. He hates that he has to do this, but he’s just going to have to rip the bandaid off. 

“I don’t know how long you’ve been stuck in there, or what happened to you. All I know is that three weeks ago, we fought a crazy alien titan called Thanos, and we lost. He kil—he, uh, vanished half the living things in the universe,” Steve says, trying to keep his voice level. Neutral. 

Scott doesn’t look like he understands, or, at the very least, doesn’t believe what Steve is saying. 

“You—what?” he shakes his head, like he’s physically trying to jumble the words around until they make sense. 

“What day did you go into the Quantum Realm?” Natasha asks. 

“Uh… today. Wednesday. I think it’s the twelfth?” 

“Of May?” Clint presses. 

“Yes, the 12th of May,” Scott answers, his voice rising in frustration.

“It’s June third,” Steve says. 

Scott freezes and stares at Steve, his face serious as he catches on. 

“Yeah, I know what that feels like. Listen, it’s going to be okay, we’re going to make sure it’s okay, but I need you get what you need and get on the jet so we can take you to Wakanda, okay?” 

“Wait, no, oh God, what about Cassie? Is she okay? I need to find her. I need—”

“Cassie is okay, man. I checked on her myself. Cassie’s fine, she’s with her mom and grandmother right now,” Clint assures him. 

“Thank you. Thank God,” Scott breathes. “And… Hope? Is she…” 

“We don’t know,” Natasha says honestly. “But if she’s not here, it might be fair to assume she’s… gone, with the rest of them.” 

Scott stares, his breathing ragged, and he looks around where Hope had presumably been standing—to him—moments ago, as if she’s going to walk out from behind the van and yell ‘surprise’.

“C’mon. We’ll explain more on the way.” 

“Yeah, I.. Okay let me…” Scott turns around and looks at the portable lab table. He runs his hands through his hair a few times, then taps a few buttons on a panel. There’s a swoosh sound, and suddenly the lab table and van both disappear into thin air. 

Except not thin air, because they’re right there, they’re just the size of a kid’s toy. 

Scott scoops them up, squares his shoulders, and looks at them. 

“Okay. Okay, let’s go.” 

*****

“So you’re telling me,” Scott says. “That some crazy dude from _space_ found six magic stones, came to earth to snap his fingers and wiped out half the living creatures on this planet?” 

“All planets,” Natasha corrects. 

“Right. All planets. And how many of those are there now?” Scott asks. 

“We don’t know,” Steve answers truthfully. “Tony—”

“Stark?” Scott interrupts, incredulous.

Steve sighs. “Yes, Tony Stark. He—” 

“Oh, we’re on speaking terms with him again, then? We forgave him for locking up a bunch of mostly innocent people in a crazy underwater supervillain prison?” 

“No,” Clint says immediately from the cockpit, before Steve can respond. “No, we did not forgive him for doing that, and we’re still pissed as hell. But Lang, the world is _quite literally_ over as we know it, and Tony Stark happens to be one of the only people who might be able to help us get it back.” 

“Fine,” Scott says, shaking his head. “You were saying, Cap? Stark?” The disdain is still dripping from his words, but Steve lets it go.

“Tony fought Thanos on another planet called Titan, where he got the time stone from Dr. Strange, and—” 

“The magician,” Scott chimes in. 

“—then he got picked up by, uh, a woman named Nebula who was from… somewhere else. Anyway, we don’t really know how many planets there are, just that Thanos snapped the entire _universe_, not just our corner of it. Basically.” Steve shrugs. 

“And you think Hope…” Scott trails off. 

“We can’t know for sure,” Natasha says. “But if you were with her and she didn’t pull you out, the chances are likely. I’m sorry.” 

“Jesus christ,” Scott says and buries his head in his hands. “What about everyone else from the Raft? Wanda? Falcon?” 

Steve’s gut clenches. 

Natasha answers so he doesn’t have to. “The only people from Berlin are us, Tony and Colonel Rhodes. War Machine.” 

“Jesus,” Scott says again. “So what the hell are we going to do now?”

“First step was find you,” Clint says. “Now we go back to Wakanda and see if you can fill in the blanks about quantum time travel.” 

* * *

Bucky isn’t sure how they made it to their living room without having to debrief or go through medical, but he’s never been more grateful for Sam Wilson. 

The sharp, immediate pain and shock of regaining his true memories has faded into a dull ache. It’s not all-consuming, and he can finally take a moment to think. Wanda doesn’t seem to be there yet, though, and still has tears steadily running down her cheeks. 

“Okay, does anyone wanna tell me what’s going on?” Sam asks, sitting down on the armchair opposite the couch. 

Bucky looks at Wanda. 

“Wanda, can you do for Sam what you did for me?” Bucky asks gently. 

Wanda shakes her head. “I don’t want to. It’ll hurt him,” she says in a small voice. 

Sam furrows his brow and he and Bucky make eye contact. Without looking away, Bucky continues to talk to Wanda. 

“Yeah, it will. But he deserves to know. He has a right to know,” Bucky tells her. 

“Know what?” Sam asks. 

Wanda looks at Sam. 

“I am so, so sorry, Sam,” she says, then lifts her hand for him to take. 

He gets up out of the chair and comes over to her, placing his hand in hers. 

Bucky’s eyes don’t leave Sam’s face, and he can see the exact moment his memories come back. First, the look on his face is shock, then incredulity, and then pain. Bucky knows it’s when he remembers Riley. 

With all the death he and his team have known, he wonders briefly if Wanda will ever give someone their memories back without having to refresh their grief and break their hearts. 

Then Sam looks at Bucky, and his first reaction is a violent flinch. The realization that Sam’s remembering all the things Bucky’s done feels like a vice grip around his heart. He almost can’t breathe with how much it hurts to have Sam look at him like that and remember the bad. 

Their time here, wherever they are, _when_ever they are, might be fake, or implanted, or a dream, or whatever, but they still feel real. To Bucky, they still happened. And in this world, in the world without Steve, without Natasha, without Shuri, Sam’s been the closest person he’s had. His best friend, his partner, his second-in-command. 

And yeah, when he got himself back he also got back the memories of their mostly-playful animosity, but the trust and affection he’s had for Sam here wins out by miles. 

It must show on his face then, that he’s crushed by Sam’s reaction, because Sam’s face softens instantly. 

“Shit,” Sam says. “Bucky, man, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean anything by it.” 

“I know, Sam, I’m fine. Are you okay?” 

He shakes his head. “Not even a little.” 

“I am so sorry, Sam,” Wanda says again, and Sam looks back at her immediately. 

“Hey, no. Wanda, what I’m feeling has nothing to do with you, okay? I’m just feelin’ a lot of things I haven’t felt in a while and it’s going to take me some time to process.” 

“Fuck,” Bucky says, and lets out a breath. He relaxes back into the couch. 

“You’re telling me,” Sam agrees. 

“What the hell are we going to do?” 

“It’s been a long ass day,” Sam says. “Maria’s still wrapping up at SHIELD — which, wow okay, I really hope our SHIELD isn’t secretly HYDRA, too — and Peter’s being held in the medical wing overnight for observations. I say we go to sleep and regroup in the morning. Peter ’n Maria’ll need their memories back, too.” 

Wanda nods. 

“I understand if you want to be alone,” Wanda says, her voice small. “But if it’s okay with you, I would prefer not to be alone with my memories tonight.” 

Bucky leans over and squeezes her shoulder. 

“We’ll put the couch cushions on the floor in the living room and bunk together like I used to do with, _God_, with Steve. Okay? I don’t really feel like bein’ alone tonight either,” Bucky admits. 

“Sure,” Sam agrees. “But first I’m gonna hit the shower and cry a bit about Riley.” 

Bucky huffs a breath out of his nose. 

Sam gives Wanda and Bucky a nod and leaves the room, heading for the showers. 

*****

When Sam returns, Bucky and Wanda have created a blanket fort in the middle of the living room. Bucky’s heaped the compound’s numerous blankets on the ground and Wanda’s magicked a sheet to float above the blanket nest. 

They’re inside it now and it’s cozy, as much as they can get cozy, given the circumstances. The lights are out and it gives Bucky the courage to voice the things he’s been thinking all evening, but was too embarrassed to say out loud. 

“I know our memories from here aren’t… real,” he starts, quietly, because he doesn’t want to disturb the peace. “But that doesn’t mean they don’t mean anything to me. I just… I hope we can keep what we have here, even when we get back to our real lives.”

“Of course, man,” Sam replies. “But I can’t promise I won’t give you shit about your goats or how you had Steve ’n me track you across the world for two years.” 

Bucky chuckles quietly. “That’s fair.” 

“It doesn’t matter if it was real or not,” Wanda says. “You may not be my real brother but you have taken care of me as well as Pietro ever did.” Her voice cracks when she mentions her brother. “Nothing will take that away from us.” 

“Good,” Bucky says. “God, this is sappy but I really love you guys, you know?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam says, but his tone says “I love you too”. 

They settle down after that, each of them deep in their own thoughts. It’s late, and Sam wasn’t wrong about it being a long day — a serious battle, followed by regaining a hundred years of memories and a renewed gaping hole where the love of his life isn’t. 

But Bucky doesn’t want to fall asleep. He’s terrified of what memories might haunt him in his dreams. He’s never had nightmares here — he didn’t have anything terrifying to dream about. And back in Wakanda he rarely dreamt of the horrors of his past, especially when Steve was around to hold him. But now… he’s worried that the jog to his memory will take over his subconscious and terrorize him when he’s asleep. 

So he tries to stay awake, think of Steve, think of what the next days will bring. Even though he knows he won’t last for very long. 

But when he does finally doze, he doesn’t dream of his time as the Winter Soldier. He only dreams of Steve.

*****

When Bucky wakes before dawn, he’s not the first one up. 

He smells coffee, so he untangles himself from the nest of blankets and quietly pads over to the kitchen, where Sam is already pouring him a cup. 

“Thanks,” Bucky says, accepting it gratefully. 

They stand together in silence, each leaning against opposite countertops, sipping their coffees. 

“I miss him,” Sam says when their cups are empty. 

Bucky’s heart burns. 

“Yeah,” he says, because what else is there to say? I miss him too? When I got my memories back it felt like part of me died? 

“We got a long road ahead of us.” 

“I know,” Bucky says. “Wanda’s gonna take it hard.” 

“She’s gonna have the weight of the world on her shoulders.” 

They lapse into silence again after that, each lost in thought. 

*****

Later, Wanda, Bucky, and Sam are sitting beside Peter’s bed in the infirmary. He’s fine, easily well enough to go back to the compound, but they figure it’s probably best to have hospital staff on-hand when they tell the kid about… everything, really. 

“I’m _fine_, Wanda, I promise,” Peter says for the umpteenth time, but Wanda won’t stop mother henning him, feeling responsible for his injuries. 

And yeah okay, technically she is, but no one blames her for it, not even Peter. Especially not Peter. 

“Okay, I’m here,” Maria says as she walks into the room at a brisk pace. “What was so urgent that couldn’t wait until lunch?” 

“You’re not going to believe us,” Sam says.

“Try me,” Maria says. 

“You should sit down,” Wanda cautions Maria, and she does.

Sam and Wanda look at Bucky expectantly and yeah, okay, he guesses he’s still their captain. Sort of.

He starts at the beginning. 

“For a couple of weeks, Wanda and I have been feeling like something’s been off…” 

He tells Maria and Peter everything, from the fear at freezing, all the way up to the mission the day before. He can see them go through a range of emotion, from shock, to incredulity, back to shock again.

“The staff the magician was using had the Mind Stone in it. It’s an Infinity Stone, and it’s what gave Wanda her powers. That’s why she was able to feel it,” Bucky explains. 

“What’s an Infinity Stone?” Peter asks. 

“You already know,” Wanda says softly, and both Maria and Peter’s brows furrow in confusion. 

“Huh?” Peter says. 

“Wanda, can you take it from here?” Bucky asks. 

“It’s easier for me if I touch you,” Wanda says, then, “I’m sorry.” 

She takes Maria and Peter’s hands, both of them still looking intrigued and confused. After a moment, red light flows from her palms, swirling through the air. Maria and Peter’s eyes flash red for a moment, and then Bucky sees the same expressions he saw on Sam’s face. Shock, awe, hurt, grief, panic. 

“Oh my god,” Maria whispers. 

“Holy shit,” Peter says. 

“Yeah,” Sam agrees. “Holy shit.” 

* * *

“You know, I always expected meeting a royal family would be more formal than this,” Scott says as they make their way to one of the palace dining rooms. 

“The palace not fancy enough for you?” Clint asks. 

“‘Course it’s fancy. But like… we’re just going to dinner. I’m in a t-shirt.”

“You’ve been reading Cassie too many fairytales,” Natasha says. 

“Cassie doesn’t like fairytales,” Scott replies. “We read zombie apocalypse stories.”

When they enter the dining room, Tony and Bruce are already there. 

Scott’s body language turns tense and hostile as soon as he sees Tony sitting at the other end of the table. 

“Stark,” he says icily. 

“Lang,” Tony replies, wincing a little. “I’m sorry for what happened after Germany.” 

Steve’s a little taken aback by Tony’s quick apology.

“What, exactly, are you sorry for? Locking us up in an underwater prison in the middle of the ocean, or doing it without a trial?” 

Bruce rounds on Tony. “You did what?” 

Tony flinches. “Both. I didn’t actually know they were going to do that, you know, and I worked to get you out as soon as I found out. We may not have agreed on the Accords, but the way you were treated wasn’t cool.” 

“Wasn’t cool, went against the Geneva conventions. Same difference,” Scott bites out sarcastically. 

Tony stands up and walks around the table. 

“I’m sorry, and I want to make it right,” he says again. He extends a hand towards Scott, who looks at it for a minute. Tony’s arm flags a bit, but after a beat Scott takes it. 

“I don’t forgive you,” he says. “But I’m willing to move past it, given the circumstances.” 

“Thank you,” Tony replies. 

Natasha clears her throat. “So, Bruce, this is Scott Lang, aka Ant-Man. Scott, Bruce,” she says, motioning at Scott and moving to sit down at the table. 

Tony has retaken his seat, and Steve and Clint follow suit. 

“Lots of bug people have joined the team since I left,” Bruce says. He reaches across the table and shakes Scott’s hand. “Nice to meet you.” 

“Likewise.” 

“Too many,” Nat says. “But I trust I’ll always be your favorite.” 

“Of course, Itsy Bitsy,” Steve says, smiling softly at her. 

She rolls her eyes fondly. 

“So,” Stark says and clears his throat. “Lang. What do you know about Quantum Physics?” 

“Not much.” Scott shrugs. “Usually Hank and Hope talk at each other and ignore I’m in the room.” 

“And you want me to believe you don’t know what they’re talking about? Don’t you have a masters in electrical engineering?” Tony asks, narrowing his eyes. 

“Are you talking science without me?” Shuri says, coming into the room along with Okoye. 

“Sorry, princess,” Stark says, not sounding sorry at all. 

“If I cared about proper etiquette I could have you thrown in the dungeon for using that tone with me,” Shuri says. It makes the corners of Steve’s mouth tick up in a slight smile. 

“Hey, Shuri,” Steve says fondly. 

“Does Wakanda even have dungeons?” Tony counters. 

“No,” Shuri replies. “But I’d have one made just for you. So, this is Scott Lang, I presume?”

Scott is on his feet in an instant, and then bows to Shuri, who lets out a snort of laughter. “Your Highness.” 

“You can bow when you meet my mother, but you do not need to bow for me,” Shuri says. “Also, call me Shuri.” 

Scott stands up straight, cheeks colored. 

“And this is Okoye,” Shuri says, waving at Okoye who looks menacing and unwavering in her uniform, with her ever-present spear in her hand. 

“I feel like I should bow to you. You look scarier than she does,” Scott says. 

Okoye doesn’t crack a smile, but Steve’s spent enough time with her to know the way her eyes twinkle means she’s amused. 

“I am scary,” Okoye says. “But only when I need to be.” 

“O…kay,” Scott says, then looks back at the rest of the Avengers, who are all looking at him with various degrees of amusement on their faces. 

“Sit,” Shuri says, as she takes a seat at the table. Scott does. 

“So, you were talking about Quantum Physics?” Shuri prompts. 

“As I was telling Stark, I don’t know that much about it,” Scott says. 

“And as _I_ was saying, I don’t believe that for a second,” Stark says.

“If you’re worried about Stark knowing Hank Pym’s secrets,” Clint says, “Don’t be. We found his research from when he was working with older Stark.” 

Scott narrows his eyes. “Okay. Fine. But when we get Hank back and he tries to yell at me for this, I’m sending him your way.” 

“We’ll deal with him,” Steve says. 

“Fine. Here’s what I know.” 

*****

The dining table is covered in Wakandan-style tapas, which are all delicious and clearly there to impress the outsiders.

“I’m just saying,” Clint says. “If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…” 

“It’s not time travel,” Bruce insists. 

“It’s kind of like time travel,” Tony amends. 

Bruce throws his arms up in the air in defeat. “Fine. We’ll call it time travel. But I want it on record that it’s _not time travel.” _

“Sure, Brucie,” Tony coos. 

Steve’s about to shove another handful of the rice dish into his mouth when Okoye jumps up, startling him. He drops his handful of rice in his crotch. 

Before he can ask what’s going on, his Kimoyo beads light up blue, then turn a violent red. So do everyone else’s. 

“The perimeter has been breached,” Okoye announces urgently. She’s already at Shuri’s side. “Shuri, we need to move.” 

Everyone is up in an instant. 

“A perimeter breach?” Steve asks as he wipes his rice-y hands on his pants. “I thought that was impossible.” 

“It’s supposed to be,” Okoye answers. “Come now. We must get to the bunker below the palace.” 

“Bunker is definitely better than a dungeon,” Tony quips. 

Steve wants to tell him it’s not the time for jokes — not with the panic on Shuri’s face — but it’s not the time to chastise Tony, either.

“My mother,” Shuri says as they all hustle out of the room.

“She has at least one Dora with her at all times. She will be safe.” 

“What kind of perimeter is breached? Is it really that dangerous?” Scott asks.

“Yes,” Okoye, Steve, Natasha, and Shuri say simultaneously. 

They make it to the bunker in under a minute, and the Queen Mother is already there, along with half the remaining Dora Milaje. 

“Mother,” Shuri says, and wraps her arms around her mom. 

“The breach is on the South side,” Okoye announces, tapping on her bracelet and bringing up a hologram. “Ayo, stay here for protection.” 

Ayo, one of the Dora Milaje Steve’s never met, nods sharply, and takes her post by Shuri and her mother. 

“Let us help,” Steve interjects. 

“We do not know what we are up against,” Okoye replies. “It is not safe.” 

“Is it ever?” Natasha asks. “C’mon, let’s go.” 

Before anyone can make a move, there’s a flash of light so bright, it sends a stabbing pain through Steve’s skull. There’s a loud sound—one Steve can’t identify—to accompany it, and between the two, Steve’s senses are temporarily overwhelmed to the point of uselessness. 

Next to him, Natasha stumbles, and only his spatial awareness allows him to grab her by the waist to steady her. 

As quick as it began, it’s over, and the light dims and the sound retreats. In its wake, there’s a woman. 

Steve can only see an outline, and she appears to be hovering a foot off the ground, the light surrounding her like a halo, and her hair floating in non-existent wind. 

“Hi,” she says. “Does anyone want to tell me what the hell happened to the universe?”


	8. Chapter 8

As soon as Peter is discharged, he and the team return to the compound. Now, they’re sitting at the dining table, four pizza boxes stacked (untouched) in the center. Bucky’s wheeled in one of their whiteboards and has a stack of post-its in front of him. 

The first name he writes down is Steve’s. He stands up and sticks it to the whiteboard, above which he writes _THERE. _Then he writes his and his teammates’ names and sticks them under _HERE. _

“What else do we know?” Bucky prompts. 

“The, uh, the space people? The ones that fought Thanos with me and Mr. Stark? I saw them disappear before I went. I don’t remember all their names, but one guy was really big and muscly and blueish, and there was one whose name was also Peter, and a girl with antennae? Oh, and Dr. Strange,” Peter remembers. “Dr. Strange gave away the Time Stone for Mr. Stark.” 

Bucky writes down Blue Man, Space Peter, Antennae, and Strange and puts them in the HERE column.

“Stark’s not here,” Maria says. “I mean, there was the whole scandal about Howard Stark dying and not having an heir to leave SI to, so that means Tony’s probably in the other place.” 

Tony Stark goes in THERE. So does Shuri, because the King of Wakanda (here) is an only child. 

“Natasha and Clint,” Sam starts. “They’d be SHIELD, right? We would’ve met them.” 

Bucky nods (that’s as good a theory as any) and puts Clint and Natasha under Tony and Steve. 

“This is giving me a headache,” Maria says. She reaches to the middle of the table and pulls the top pizza box towards her. She flips it open, grabs a slice, and shoves the point of it in her mouth. 

“You and me both,” Sam says. “Give me that.” 

Maria shoves the pizza box at him.

At the sight of them eating, Bucky’s stomach rumbles. He pulls out a chair and plops down in it, grabbing a slice for himself. 

“How are you doing on the memories, Wanda?” he asks with his mouth full.

“The memories from here look the same as our real ones. I can access them all the same way and they have the same blueish aura. The only way to know the difference is because I know which life I actually lived,” Wanda explains. 

“So that’s a dead end,” Sam says. 

“Sorry,” Wanda apologizes. “There’s nothing telling me why they’re there, or how they were put there.”

“Don’t apologize,” Bucky says. “You’re doing great.”

Maria sinks down in her seat. “We should bring Fury in.” 

“I want to go to Wakanda first,” Bucky counters. 

Sam looks at him. “How the hell are we going to get into Wakanda? T’Challa doesn’t know you. We don’t even know if the shield breach is in the same place.” 

“We have to try.” 

“So our plan is, what, get the stones back? Do we even know if they’re all here?” Maria asks.

“Tesseract is here,” Bucky says. “Fake me went down with it in the ice, same as Steve. We know the Mind Stone is here. I think someone_ there_ said they all have to be in the same universe for the world to exist properly? So if we have two, we have to have all six.” 

“It’s a solid guess,” Sam says. “But it’s a guess.” 

“We don’t have anything other than guesses,” Bucky replies. “This is a pretty unprecedented situation.” 

“Fury might know something,” Maria says. 

“He doesn’t,” Wanda replies. 

“How do you know?” Peter asks. “Fury _knows _things. Like, to a scary degree.” 

“He can’t know. I was able to restore your memories one at a time and I’m pretty sure I’m the only one with the ability to do so, and I only could because I had access to our universe through the Mind Stone,” Wanda says. 

“If we bring Fury in now, we can’t control what happens,” Bucky says. “I’m not saying SHIELD was infiltrated here the same way it was back home, but if we turn this over to them, they’re going to demand Wanda do things on their orders. I want us to be in charge of this.” 

“You don’t trust Nick?” Maria asks. 

“I don’t _not_ trust Nick,” Bucky replies. “But I trust _us_ more. Plus, I know T’Challa and I think he’s more likely to help us if we go to him alone.” 

“You know _a _T’Challa,” Sam says. “How do you know this T’Challa will feel the same way?”

“Because Wanda’s going to give him his memories back.” 

“How are you even going to get close enough to do that?” Maria asks. 

“I lived in Wakanda for two years. I spent my fair share of time wandering the palace halls. I know how to get in and out without being detected and get Wanda close enough to work her magic. Wanda, you can do it without touching, right?” 

Wanda nods. “It’s easier when I touch, but I could do it if I had to.” 

“Okay. That’s the plan then. Go to Wakanda and give the king his memories back, then we go from there,” Bucky says. 

“That’s barely a plan,” Sam grouses. 

“It’s what we’ve got.” 

Sam rolls his eyes. “All Captain Americas are the same — always going in half-cocked.” 

“Excuse you, I was the man with the _plan_. They had a song and everything.” 

“Technically Steve Rogers was the one with the plan,” Peter mumbles. 

Bucky waves him away. 

“Technicalities.”

Sam sighs and stands up. 

“Bucky, start sketchin’ out the schematics of the palace and surrounding areas. Anywhere that’ll be relevant to us. Maria, acquisition a Quinjet from SHIELD. Bucky’s right, we don’t want them in on this yet, so try to keep it as inconspicuous as possible,” Sam instructs. 

“Is that an order, Wilson?” Bucky asks, grinning. 

“It is.” 

“And what are you going to do?” Maria asks. 

“I’m getting us some damn alcohol.”

*****

They spend three days getting the palace infiltration plan together and requisitioning the jet. In all that time, Bucky never once considered he may be wrong about the breach coordinates.

“Turning on cloaking,” Maria announces and hits a few buttons on the console. Nothing changes from the inside, but he knows they’re becoming undetectable to the eye and Wakanda’s tracking system. 

“And you’re _sure_ these are the coordinates?” Sam asks for what must be the billionth time as they start to approach the trees. 

“Wilson,” Bucky warns, because truth be told, as they get closer to the trees, he’s starting to get just a _little bit_ nervous.

“If we all get electrocuted to death, I’m blaming you,” Sam grumbles. 

They all hold their breaths as they approach the breach. Wanda clutches Bucky’s hand and squeezes and--

They make it through with no issue. There’s a big, collective exhale as the Wakandan capital comes into view. 

“Whoa,” Peter breathes, stepping to the front window of the Quinjet to get a closer look. 

Bucky’s heart jumps. 

“Never gets old,” Bucky agrees. He walks over to the console and types in a new set of coordinates. 

“Thought we were going to the palace?” Sam asks. 

“We will. First, I want to go home.” 

*****

Maria lands the jet in the field adjacent to Bucky’s hut. 

“Think it’s the same?” Sam asks, having been to his and Steve’s hut numerous times during the years they lived there. 

“Where are we?” Peter asks. 

“My place. Or at least, it was. I don’t know what’s there now. Could be empty, could have someone else living in it. But I want to look.” 

They disembark from the jet and cross the field to the hut. Before looking inside, Bucky walks around the back to the paddock where he kept his goats. As soon as he sees it, his face lights up and he starts to laugh. 

“The fuckin’ goats are here,” he says, still laughing. 

“You have goats?” Peter asks curiously. 

“I had about twice as many, but looks like some of ‘em made it here too.” 

They stroll over to the goats and Bucky grins at them. They look up from their grazing at the five intruders. Some cock their heads to the side curiously as they chew on their mouthfuls of grass. 

“That’s Billy, and Vincent van Goat, and Bo Peep. I think that one over there is Bo Peep’s kid, but he looks all grown now so I can’t be sure.” 

“Vincent van Goat?” Peter repeats. 

“Blame Steve for that one.” 

“Want me to give them their memories back?” Wanda asks. 

“You can do that for _goats_?!” Peter asks incredulously. 

“Yeah, I’m with the kid on this one,” Sam says, sounding surprised. 

Wanda laughs. “They have minds and I can access them just as I can yours. I can’t understand it the way I can understand humans whose thoughts are like mine, but I can see the same barrier I’ve been able to find in your minds. I can break them down and they’ll remember you, Bucky.” 

Bucky’s smile fades. He sighs and shakes his head. 

“They’re missing half their flock. They’ll just be sad and won’t understand why.” And he knows how that feels, but he doesn’t say that part out loud.

Wanda nods. 

“The hut is empty,” Maria calls from behind them. Bucky didn’t even notice her leave and check it out. 

They round the front and Bucky peers through the front door. It looks just like it did before he and Steve moved in and called it home. Furnished, but sparse; no decorations, no personal touches. Just a place for a stranger to recover without being bothered by his past. 

“We’ll sleep here tonight,” Bucky says. “It has two bedrooms and a pull out couch. I’ll take the hammock in the back. Everyone get some rest. We’re leaving at dawn.” 

* * *

The Dora Milaje in the bunker have their spears to the newcomer’s throat instantly. Tony’s suit has formed around him and he’s shielding Bruce (this is not a good place to turn green), and Natasha, Clint and Steve are poised to fight. 

The woman lands on the floor, and though her small stature makes her look less threatening, Steve isn’t fooled. At all. He takes point.

“Who are you?” Steve demands of the woman. 

“Carol Danvers, former Air Force Captain.” 

“Why are you here?” Steve asks. 

“I thought we covered this?” Carol Danvers, Former Air Force Captain says nonchalantly. “Half the universe disappeared and I’m here to fix it.” 

“Sure, yeah. But why _here_, in Wakanda? How did you find us?” Steve clarifies.

“It’s the center of the blast radius. Figured you might know what happened,” Danvers explains. 

“Then what the hell took you so long? This happened three weeks ago,” Clint says. 

“I’m not sure you noticed, but when a shit ton of people suddenly get snapped out of existence, shit kind of hits the fan. That didn’t just happen here, you know.”

Clint turns red. “Right. Okay, so, why now?”

“Because the imminent danger has passed and I’ve helped where I was as much as I could. Now, where’s Nick Fury?”

As soon as Fury’s name leaves her lips, the entire atmosphere changes. Steve, slack jawed and surprised, shifts back. Natasha’s eyes widen, and her tension seems to multiply tenfold.

Though he’s by no means comfortable, Steve knows they’re no longer in immediate danger. He gestures for the Dora to lower their spears. Okoye gives him a _look_, but he must’ve gained her trust in the last few years, because she does, and the rest of her warriors follow. They do reform around Shuri and her mother, blocking the Princess and Queen Mother from Danvers’ sight.

“You know Nick?” Natasha asks. 

“Aw, he never mentioned me? That’s a shame. He and I go way back.” 

“Fury’s gone,” Steve interjects. “Dusted.” 

Danvers’ face falls and her cocky attitude melts instantly. 

“Fuck,” she says, and the level of emotion in her voice is not faked. 

“How do you know Nick?” Natasha presses. 

“We met back in the nineties. A few skrulls came to earth, he helped me deal with them, it was a whole thing. So, what happened and do you have a plan to fix it?” 

Tony’s steps clank on the floor as he comes to stand next to Steve. 

“If we do, why should we tell you?” he asks. 

Danvers rolls her eyes. “Because I’m here to help you fix it. Cool suit, by the way.” 

Steve doesn’t have to be able to see Tony’s face to know the flattery got her everywhere. 

“Thanks. I like her,” Tony says. 

Steve rolls his eyes.

“Tony,” Bruce cautions from behind.

“Sooooo…” Danvers says, drawing it out. “We good? Can we get out of this dungeon now?” 

“It’s not a dungeon,” Tony mutters. 

“Only if you tell me how you got in,” Shuri pipes up, standing up and moving around Okoye. “I’m Shuri. You’re awesome.” 

Danvers smirks. “Ever heard of the Tesseract?”

*****

The revelation that Danvers is powered by the Tesseract (metaphorically) knocks Steve on his ass. After finally moving out of the bunker, they discussed it; Danvers giving them her brief history, and the Avengers doing more or less the same. 

Now, most of the team is gone. Left to see their guest quarters, go to bed. Only Natasha and Clint are left with Steve, and Clint’s getting up to leave, too.

“Nat, you coming?” he asks, hovering near door. 

Natasha looks at Steve, who hasn’t made a move to get up. 

“I’ll catch up with you later,” she says, her eyes not leaving Steve. 

Clint hesitates for a moment, then nods and departs. 

Steve does get up up then, and walks outside through the large double doors. He settles in one of the lounge chairs overlooking the grassy plains. Natasha follows him out, but doesn’t sit down on the chair next to his. She waits. He moves over and she climbs onto the chair with him. He lifts his arms and settles it around her narrow shoulders, then rests his cheek against her hair. 

They’re quiet for a while, the only sounds around them coming from the trees and their breathing.

“You’d think he’d’ve told me about a woman he knew who was powered by the Tesseract,” Natasha says, breaking the silence. 

Steve doesn’t have to ask who she’s talking about. 

“Would’ve been nice to know when the Chitauri attacked,” Steve agrees. 

“Would’ve been nice to_ have_ her when the Chitauri attacked,” Natasha counters. 

“Do you trust her?” Steve asks. 

Natasha shrugs as much as she’s able in her position. 

“I’m choosing to,” she says after thinking it over. “Normal rules don’t apply right now. She might be the thing we’re looking for, something that’ll help us put everything back together. And if she’s not, well, that might as well happen. What more can we really lose?” 

“Each other,” Steve murmurs, tightening his arms around her. 

“I don’t care if she can blast spaceships out of the sky. If she tries to hurt you, Rogers, I will kill her with my bare hands.” 

Steve smiles. 

“Mm. Same.” 

They lapse back into silence after that, each stuck in their own thoughts. Eventually, Natasha dozes off against his chest. He knows because she starts snoring lightly, and the sound of it makes him smile. He knows how lucky he is to be among the few people Nat will fully let her guard down around. 

Eventually, he falls asleep, too.

Hours later, they wake with the sun.


	9. Chapter 9

The team put up an argument when Bucky said he wanted to go to the palace with himself and Wanda only. In the end, they came to a compromise — he and Wanda will be the only ones to actually go inside the palace (because honestly, the fewer people breaching the walls the better), and instead of staying in the hut, Sam, Maria and Peter will stay in the gardens that Bucky knows aren’t patrolled and are a good place to hide. 

Now, Bucky and Wanda are in a corridor on the lower level of the palace. Bucky peers around the wall and catches a glimpse of a Dora-in-training disappear. He knows not to be fooled by their training uniforms — they’re just as deadly as fully trained Dora Milaje and won’t hesitate to harm intruders. 

“Okay, let’s go.” 

The two of them walk through the halls silently, moving quickly and ducking into the crevices Bucky knows are outside viewing range. It takes them almost thirty minutes to make it to the center of the palace, but they make it undetected. 

“Can you feel him?” Bucky whispers. They’re outside the throne room, and if this T’Challa has the same schedule as his T’Challa, he should be in there alone, preparing for his afternoon meeting. 

Wanda closes her eyes, shakes her head. “Closer,” she mouths. 

Bucky frowns, because he would’ve preferred to return T’Challa’s memories from outside, before he could sound the alarm. There’s no one guarding the room, as is customary, because T’Challa doesn’t really need guarding. Not here, in a place that’s already so closely protected that no strangers should be able to get in. 

But Bucky isn’t a stranger. Not in this palace. 

“Okay, here’s what we’re gonna do,” he whispers. “T’Challa and his people have a special knock. I know it and I’m going to use it on the door. He’ll let us in without question, and the _second_ you’re in range, you’re going to hit him with his memories, yeah?”

Wanda nods. 

“Okay. Here goes nothing.” Bucky abandons his stealth and simply walks to the door. Knocks once, pauses, then twice more. As expected, T’Challa’s familiar deep voice on the other side of the door invites him in. 

T’Challa looks up from his papers as soon as the doors open with a genial smile, but the second he clocks Bucky and Wanda, the smile disappears and he’s up in an instant. He’s not in the Panther suit, but that doesn’t stop him from having super speed. He vaults over the table, opens his mouth to yell, but he never gets anything out. His eyes flash red, and by the time his feet hit the ground, he’s stumbling, eyes wide, mouth agape. 

He clutches his stomach, probably feeling sick, and steps back, his back hitting the desk. He sits down on it with a thud. 

He looks at Wanda with shock, then locks eyes with Bucky. 

“Sergeant Barnes,” he says. 

“Captain, here,” Bucky replies, smiling a little. 

“What is going on? Where — how…?” 

“Thanos,” Bucky replies. 

T’Challa’s eyes widen in understanding. Immediately after, his face contorts in despair. “My mother, my sister, Nakia… How could I have forgotten them?” 

“We all forgot,” Bucky tells him. “I didn’t remember Steve.” 

T’Challa knows what that means, coming from Bucky. He’s about to open his mouth to reply when there’s a raucous commotion outside the throne room. There’s yelling and the thundering sounds of boots hitting the floor, men and women running.

T’Challa frowns and stands again. Wanda and Bucky mirror him. 

“There has been a breach,” he says. “There are intruders outside the palace.” 

Bucky groans and drops back down in his chair. 

“They’re ours,” he says, covering his eyes with his hands. 

T’Challa visibly relaxes. “Oh. That is helpful to know. I will have the guards bring them here, then. Stay, I will return,” he says, then hustles out of the room. 

“I bet it was Peter,” Bucky says. 

“It was most definitely Peter,” Wanda agrees, eyes crinkling with mirth. 

Not five minutes later, T’Challa, his guards, and Bucky’s dumbasses are back in the throne room. 

“I’m sorry!” Peter wails. “It was all my fault.” 

* * *

“So you’re telling me,” Danvers says, “Your _actual plan._ Is _time travel_?” She emphasizes her words dramatically.

“It’s not time travel,” Bruce mutters under his breath. 

“Essentially, yes,” Scott replies. 

“And when are you traveling to?” 

“The last time we knew where Thanos was, definitively. Before he had any stones,” Steve says. He’s sitting at the head of the table, turning the vial on his necklace over and over again in his hands. 

“Which was when?” 

“2012,” Clint says. “When Loki attacked New York. He was the one calling the shots on the other side of the wormhole.” 

“Let me tell you how much I look forward to flying up there again,” Tony grumbles. 

“And who’s Loki?” Danvers asks. 

“Thor’s brother. God of Mischief,” Tony says. “Pain in the ass, but apparently generally good dude in the end. He sacrificed himself to save Thor.” 

“Yeah, but he wasn’t good guy Loki in 2012,” Steve reminds them. “He may have redeemed himself, but the Loki we’ll hopefully be avoiding hasn’t yet.” 

“And who’s going on this little time travel expedition?” Danvers asks, crossing her arms. 

Natasha, Clint, Tony, Scott and Steve all raise their hands. Danvers looks at Bruce, who shrugs. 

“I won’t be much help,” he admits. “My uh, _friend_ isn’t too keen on coming out right now, and Bruce isn’t helpful in a fight.” 

“I thought you were Bruce,” Danvers asks. 

“I am. I’m also the Hulk.” 

“The Hulk. Okay. And what’s that? Alter ego?” 

“Of sorts.” Bruce doesn’t seem to want to elaborate. Danvers raises an eyebrow at him, but ends up dropping it. 

“Shuri will need backup here anyway,” Tony pipes in. “Make sure we can get back okay, et cetera, et cetera.” 

“Hm. Right. Okay,” Danvers says. “And the time machine is ready to go?”

Tony snorts. “Not quite. More like hasn’t started. We needed to get Scott and Shuri in a room together, but your timely arrival put a damper on that.” 

“Well don’t let me stop you now,” Danvers says. 

“How long do you think it’ll take? To build the thing?” Scott asks. 

“With you here? ‘Bout a week. Give or take,” Bruce supplies.

“Can you get started on it now?” Steve asks. 

“Don’t see why not,” Tony replies. 

“Great. You get on that. Danvers, if you’re going to be on the team, I need to know what you can do. I’d like to get into the gym sometime today and spar so I know what we’re working with,” Steve says. 

There’s a glint in Danvers’s eyes that makes Steve equally excited and apprehensive. 

“Bring it on.” 

*****

An hour later, Steve’s in the Dora Milaje training room with Natasha, Clint, and Danvers. Other than the four of them, it’s deserted. Steve’s never actually seen it this empty before. He’s been quite a few times with Bucky to spar with the Dora Milaje, to keep their reflexes fresh and help the women with their training. 

Through unspoken agreement, Steve and Natasha take the mat first. They don’t go to first blood today. Instead, they back off each other when Steve’s heart rate finally feels elevated and Natasha’s breathing a bit heavier.

Steve drains a water bottle, then looks at Danvers. 

“You ready?” Steve asks. 

She’s already bouncing on the balls of her feet, grinning wide. 

“Oh, I’m ready,” she replies, and replaces Natasha on the mat.

Steve bounces on his feet, too, and rolls out his shoulders. He shakes his body loose, then casually holds up his fists. He tilts his head, beckoning Danvers to come at him. 

She does with a lazy right hook, which Steve dodges easily. She seems to expect this, because his evasion sends him straight for her following round-house kick.

After another minute or two, he determines her hand-to-hand is good. Not as good as his or Nat’s, or the rest of his team’s, for that matter, but enough to put a decently trained fighter down. Her reflexes are good, fast. But what really gets under Steve’s skin is the smile that’s on her face throughout. 

He’s holding back, of course he is, pulling his punches and keeping himself in check. He doesn’t know her, doesn’t know what she’s really capable of, and he’s not about to unleash his full super soldier strength on her. 

He pins her, eventually, and keeps his weight off of her. 

“This is fun and all,” Danvers says, her tone light. “But are you ready to actually fight, or what?” 

Steve frowns. 

“Wha—“ 

He doesn’t finish his sentence before she touches her hands to his chest, he feels them heat for a split second, and then he’s flying through the air, blasted by Danvers’ fists. 

He’s so shocked that he doesn’t even twist in the air to try to land gracefully. He just collapses onto the mat, pushes himself up, and gapes at her. 

“I did not see that one coming,” Clint comments from the sidelines. 

“Did I not mention I’m powered by the Tesseract? I could’ve sworn I mentioned it,” Danvers says, getting to her feet calmly. 

“You mentioned it,” Steve agrees. “I just didn’t know what that meant.” 

“I’m you, but stronger,” Danvers says cheekily. “Super strength, stamina, speed, healing. The works. Oh, except I also have these fun cosmic energy powers that let me fly and blast things.” 

“So what you’re saying is I should stop holding back and give you all I got?” Steve asks. 

“If you really want to see what I can do, yeah.” 

Steve grins. 

“Bring it on, Captain Danvers.” 

And they’re off. 

* * *

It doesn’t take long to get T’Challa up to speed, especially after restoring his memories. It takes even less time to get him on board with the plan. 

The next step is to get to Dr. Strange, somehow, and get him to loan them the Time Stone. Unfortunately, for that they need Fury, because none of them know where Dr. Strange actually is in this universe, and they’re hoping maybe Fury does.

But by the time they’ve finished briefing T’Challa, it’s too late to call him with the time difference. Not that Buck thinks Fury would begrudge a “hey by the way we’re in the wrong universe” call at 3 a.m., but at the same time, maybe that news is better heard on a full night’s sleep. If Fury even gets those, which Bucky honestly kind of doubts. 

So instead _they_ wake up at the crack of dawn so they can catch Fury around lunchtime, which means they’re up and sitting at the Royal Skype Computer (or whatever) at 6 a.m. 

Peter, given his status as “under 25 and therefore not needed during this conversation” is still probably asleep. Bucky wishes he was, too.

“I won’t be able to give him his memories back via the computer,” Wanda says. “Are you sure it isn’t better to wait until we see him in person?” 

“We can’t waste that kind of time,” Maria says. “I’ll make him believe us, trust me.” 

They dial Fury’s number, and it’s only a minute or so before he picks up and his upper body appears as a hologram in the center of the table. 

“What do you want?” Fury says immediately upon picking up. As soon as he realizes who all is on the line — not just Hill, whose number they dialed from — he frowns. “Is that the king of Wakanda?” 

“It is,” T’Challa confirms. “It is nice to meet you, Director Fury, although I would have preferred for it to be under different circumstances.” 

“Sure, likewise. Anyone wanna tell me why I’m on a call with the king of Wakanda. Or better yet, what you guys are doing in Wakanda, the super secret nation that no one knows how to get into?” 

“The short version is that we got transported to an alternate universe by a crazy guy and got all our memories replaced,” Sam says casually. 

“O… kay.” Fury doesn’t look convinced. 

Maria rolls her eyes. “Wanda?” she prompts.

Wanda looks nervous to be addressing the director, but she nods anyway. 

“What Sam says is correct. We fought a battle against a titan from space who collected all six Infinity Stones, and we lost. He was able to create a new universe and sent us to it. We were missing our true memories, but the scepter from the mission in New York contained the Mind Stone, which is the source of all my powers. When I touched it, it broke down the barrier to my real memories, and I’ve been able to do the same for the rest of the team.”

With each passing word, Fury’s frown gets deeper and more pronounced.

“And you expect me to just believe this, no proof, on your word?” he asks. 

“Is the word of a king not enough?” T’Challa asks, miffed. 

“King or not, I don’t know you,” Fury replies. 

“Nick,” Maria interrupts, an edge to her voice. 

They look at each other. Without breaking eye contact, Maria says, “Fluffernutter.” 

Fury’s affect instantly changes from disbelieving to serious in the space between heartbeats. 

“Shit, Hill. Okay, what do you need from me?” Fury asks. 

Bucky is so taken aback that his jaw literally drops. 

“That’s _it?_ Maria says fluffernutter, which, what the fuck, by the way, and suddenly you believe everything we’re saying?” Sam bursts out. 

“You wanna talk codewords or do you want to talk about getting the universe fixed?” Fury asks, raising an eyebrow. 

Sam holds his hands up in surrender and then mimes zipping his lips shut. He even tosses the imaginary key over his shoulder for good measure.

Bucky shakes his head to clear it and tries to regain his composure. “What do you know about Dr. Strange?” he asks.

Fury actually groans out loud. “You need _Strange_ for this? That man is insufferable.” 

“Great. Working with him will be fun then,” Bucky deadpans. 

“All I know is he doesn’t want to work for SHIELD and he operates out of an old mansion in Manhattan,” Fury tells them. 

“He’s in New York?” Sam asks, exasperated. 

“Greenwich Village, to be exact.” 

“Of course he’s in New York. Everyone is always in New fuckin’ York. Can’t they leave my home alone?” Bucky complains. 

“He’s not a supervillain out to destroy your borough, Buck,” Sam says. 

Bucky waves him away. 

“Okay, so, guess we’ll be back soon. We can stop by on our way to Strange to give you your memories back,” Bucky says. 

“Great. Something to look forward to.” 

*****

Fury needed a day to create a runaround for the security council, which leaves Bucky and his team in Wakanda for another 24 hours. As much as Bucky hates to admit it, there’s nothing productive for them to do right now, so instead of forcing his team into unnecessary drills or training exercises, he proposes a walk among the wildlife. 

“I’ve never seen a rhino in person before,” Wanda says, leaning on the fence of the war rhino enclosure. 

“They have some at the Bronx zoo,” Peter says, and he’s balanced precariously on top of the same fence. “I used to go all the time with Aunt May. The big cats were always my favorites.” 

They watch the rhinos graze peacefully. Bucky’s always loved them. Even befriended a number of them, before. One of them escaped, once, and ended up right in Steve and Bucky’s meadow. That’d been an interesting day, to say the least. 

“This isn’t going to be easy,” Bucky says then. 

“Course it isn’t,” Peter replies. He hops off the fence and leans his back against it so he can look at Bucky. “But someone has to do it, right? We’re the Avengers. If we don’t do it, we’ll never get home. And I’d really like to go home.” 

“You’re telling me, kid,” Bucky says with a sigh. 

“You miss Captain America?” Peter asks. 

“More than you could possibly know.” 

“I can’t believe I didn’t know you guys were, like, together.” 

“How would you have known?” Wanda asks. “You didn’t know them.” 

“I fought them, once!” 

“Yeah and you were a pain in my ass,” Bucky chuckles. “I’m glad you’re on my side now.” 

Peter smiles at him, all big and toothy. Then it falls. 

“Wait, when we get back… we’re not going to stop like, being friends, right? Like, I know we were on different sides in Germany and everything but we’re a team now. I don’t want to fight you again.” 

Bucky’s heart clenches. He shares a look with Wanda, and he knows she’s also remembering the conversation they had when they got their memories back. 

“Nothing is going to be the same when we get back,” Bucky starts. “But I promise I’ll never fight you again. We’re a team, kid. Nothing’s gonna take that away from us.” 

“Good,” Peter says, nodding. Then he turns back around to face the rhinos. “I’ll talk to Mr. Stark when we get back and I’ll tell him you’re a good guy.”

Bucky’s smile wobbles a bit. This isn’t the time — it probably won’t ever be the time — to tell Peter what he did to Tony’s parents, but he can’t help but feel warm at Peter’s insistence to stand up for him. So he leans over to ruffle Peter’s hair, which earns him a swat and a glare, and then he, Wanda and Peter are laughing, and Bucky hopes beyond hope that everything will turn out alright, both for his old life and this new one that he didn’t create, but wants to hold onto forever.

* * *

It takes the team just as much time as they thought, because exactly eight days later, Steve is standing in the middle of Shuri’s lab, ready to test (and he can’t even believe he’s even thinking it) time travel. 

Thor’s back in Wakanda for this, and he and the rest of the team are in the room with Steve, half for moral support, half to do science. Shuri’s narrating everything she’s doing for Thor’s benefit, who’s standing behind her with a concentrated furrow in his brow, but Steve isn’t paying attention.

“Steve, if you decide to stay in the past, so help me god, I will come after you and drag you back here myself,” Natasha hisses at him, for no one to hear but Steve.

Steve smiles at her fondly. “Love you, too, Nat.” 

“I’m serious.” 

“I know. I’ll come back, I promise. I’d never leave you, and my work here isn’t done. I have a lot of things I want to do and none of them involve going backwards.” 

“Good,” Natasha says, and nods her head firmly, like putting the period at the end of a sentence. Then she pulls him into a short, tight hug. 

Steve squeezes her back. 

“Alright!” Scott says loudly, interrupting and coming over to them. 

Natasha backs up, giving them space.

“Cap—Steve, this button here will make you shrink small enough to enter the Quantum Realm.” He hands Steve a small device that clips onto Steve’s utility belt. “And that’s all from me because that is where my expertise ends, good luck.” 

Steve snorts, and Bruce, Tony, and Shuri replace Scott in front of him. 

“He’s right,” Tony says. “Soon as you’re small, you won’t really be able to do anything. Just count to ten, then press the button again and boom! You’ll be big and in the past.” 

Steve frowns. That doesn’t seem very scientific. 

“I just… count to ten and press the button?” he repeats. 

“Yup, easy peasy,” Tony answers. 

“There’s a lot more to it than that, but for your purposes, yes, just press the button again,” Bruce assures. 

Steve remains skeptical. 

“Steve, you trust me?” Shuri asks. 

Steve looks at her and nods immediately. 

“Trust that I will not let you disappear,” she says. 

Steve nods again. “Okay. Okay, so just… let’s do it?” 

Tony shrugs. “No time like the present… or the past. Hah.” 

Steve rolls his eyes. 

“Good luck, Steve,” Thor says as they move him into position on what looks like a landing pad.

“Thanks,” Steve says. Then he looks around the room and waits for some sort of signal. Nothing comes. “Should I…?” he asks, gesturing at the device clipped to his belt.

“Wait,” Shuri says, and holds up a hand. She presses a few buttons and in the meantime, Steve looks at Nat and tries to promise her without words that he will return. The soft smile on her lips tells him he succeeded. 

“Okay, now,” Shuri says. 

Steve presses the button. 

*****

Steve doesn’t know what he expected time travel to feel like, but it wasn’t this. His insides feel like they really want to be on the outside, and as soon as he’s found his footing, he promptly vomits in the grass. 

Great. Awesome. Off to a great start, Steve thinks, as he finishes heaving. 

He swallows hard and then stands up straight, looks at his surroundings. 

Well, he’s not in the lab anymore. So even if he’s still in 2019, they’ve at least figured out teleportation. 

He’s exactly where they planned for him to be — in the copse of trees right beside the lake near his and Bucky’s hut. He can’t get too close, but if he gets a little bit closer, he’ll be able to see himself and Bucky with some members of the border tribe. 

He inches through the trees, careful not to be seen or heard (the kids love to play in these trees, and if he gets spotted he’ll have a lot of explaining to do, and that’s without considering how he may fuck up reality), and then he spots them. 

It’s weird seeing himself from this distance. He’d seen himself on the film reels back in the war, and he’s seen footage of himself on the news more recently than that, but it’s entirely different to see himself _in person_, in real time, just a few yards away. He’s wearing one of the traditional blue basotho blankets of the border tribe around his shoulders, and is laughing by the fire where everyone is dancing. 

But he doesn’t watch himself for long. Can’t. Not when his eyes are drawn to Bucky, when Bucky was at his most beautiful. 

Even from this distance he can see the happiness radiating off of him. He, too, is wrapped in a basotho blanket, and his hair is braided and woven through with local flowers that the kids had picked and insisted he wear. 

“That’s what brides do!” they had said, and it had made Bucky laugh so much that he couldn’t deny them, even if he wasn’t technically a bride. 

Steve’s come back to the moment right during the ceremony. He remembers it perfectly. He remembers repeating - very poorly - the Xhosa wedding vows, and hearing Bucky say them back to him with a much better accent. He remembers how it felt to slide the woven grass band onto Bucky’s right hand — he didn’t have the left yet, then — and how excited he was to look down at his own hand and see his ring. 

He keeps watching the scene, and he anticipates one of the kids leading Bucky’s favorite goat to the gathering, also wearing a flower crown, and Bucky bursting out laughing and scooping the kid up, throwing him in the air, and the kid’s peals of laughter. 

He never wants to leave this moment. 

At the same time, he can’t wait to get back. Because the sooner her gets back, the sooner they can get back to this. 

One more minute, he allows himself to watch. Then another. Then one more. 

He can’t tear his eyes away, so he watches and blindly presses the button by his waist, and the last thing he sees before the swirling abyss, is Bucky’s radiant smile.

*****

It’s not quite as bad the second time, but he still has to steady himself and take a few deep breaths to keep from vomiting. 

Almost immediately, Natasha is on him, pulling him to his feet and checking him over. She pats down his arms, then cups his cheek. 

“Told you I’d come back,” Steve says, and grins at her. His smile makes her whole body relax. 

“I wasn’t worried,” Natasha lies. 

“Okay, Captain,” Thor interrupts. “Tell us everything.” 


	10. Chapter 10

After returning to New York and giving Fury back his memories, Maria and Bucky agreed it’d be best for her to stay behind with Fury and hunt down the Tesseract. Divide and conquer, and all that, while Bucky and the rest of the team track down the rest of the stones.

Now, Bucky, Sam, Wanda and Peter all stand side by side across the street from what is apparently Dr. Strange’s… house? Base of operations? Wizard clubhouse? 

“So we just… knock?” Sam asks. 

“Do you have any better ideas?” Bucky asks back. 

“None.” 

“Wanda, any chance you can get to him through the walls? So we don’t have to talk to him before we can explain who we are?” 

“There is a protective shield around the whole building,” Wanda replies, shaking her head. 

Sam curses. 

“Okay, well, enough dilly dallying,” Bucky says, and steps off the curb and crosses the street. The rest of his team follows, and the four of them walk up Dr. Strange’s stoop. Bucky lifts his hand to knock, but it turns out he doesn’t have to. Before his fist makes contact with the door, it opens, seemingly on its own. 

“Nope. Nuh uh. I’m not going through a dark doorway that opened on its own. That is some horror movie shit. That is how we die,” Sam says, taking a large step back immediately. 

“Wanda, any chance the door opening lifted whatever barrier was on the place?” Bucky asks hopefully, privately agreeing with Sam on the whole “absolutely the fuck not going in there” thing. 

“Nope.” 

“Cool,” Bucky says, even though it is decidedly not cool at all. 

“I don’t know Dr. Strange very well,” Peter says, poking his head out from behind Bucky. “But this seems like something he’d do.” 

“I really wanted Fury to be exaggerating,” Bucky mutters. 

Then Bucky steels himself and, because he is the leader of this goddamn team and they need to get to Strange whether they like it or not, steps over the threshold. 

*****

Bucky hears Sam curse under his breath and then the rest of them follow him inside, because his team is nothing if not loyal. As soon as they’ve all stepped inside, the door closes and all the ambient noise of the Manhattan street disappears instantly. 

“Creepy,” Peter whispers. 

“Who are you, and what are you doing in my Sanctum?” a voice says from above. 

Bucky tilts his head up and squints at the large imposing staircase that now has some guy floating down it. In a cape. 

He hates capes. Everyone who wears a cape is a dramatic motherfucker and not once has he had a good experience with someone with a cape (and he hasn’t met Thor yet, despite Steve’s promises that he’s a good dude, so his opinion on capes is still firmly “fuck capes”). 

“Your _Sanctum_? Seriously?” Sam asks, and though he’s a half step behind Bucky, Bucky can imagine him raising a sarcastic eyebrow. 

“Wanda,” Bucky murmurs, because he has a bad feeling about this and would rather skip the pleasantries and get straight to the memory returning. 

“He’s protected,” Wanda says. “I can’t get to him. He needs to allow me in or remove whatever shielding device he’s using.” 

Bucky takes another step forward and gets ready to start explaining when Peter shoots past him and starts running his mouth. 

“Hi, Dr. Strange!” he starts, actually _waving his goddamn hand_. 

Bucky is about to lunge for him and pull him back to safety and zip tie his mouth shut, but Dr. Strange’s creepy floating actually stops and he looks interested in what Peter has to say. So Bucky lets him go, but inches closer so that if the wizard guy does try something, he’ll be able to get to Peter in time. 

“You don’t remember me but we actually know each other. We met a little while ago while we were on our way to space with Tony Stark in some crazy donut looking spaceship, and then we made it to Titan where we tried to fight Thanos with some other space people and you saved Mr. Stark’s life by giving up the Time Stone and—” 

“I did _what_?!” Strange growls. 

Bucky takes a step closer to Peter.

“You gave up the stone! You said you saw all these possible futures and the only way to—” 

But then Peter is cut off again, and despite being mere inches away from him, Bucky does not get there in time when Strange waves his arms, and suddenly Peter is hanging in the air, grasping at his throat and choking. 

“Peter!” Bucky shouts and tries to get to him, but his legs are rooted to the spot. When he looks down, there’s orange sparks surrounding them.

“Who sent you?” Strange demands furiously. 

Sam and Bucky pull their guns and point them at the sorcerer, but both fly out of their hands and across the room. 

“Please, I…” Peter grits out, gasping for air. 

The familiar red of Wanda’s magic surrounds Peter like a bubble, and Peter gasps, filling his lungs, and rubbing at his throat. Strange wheels around and aims for Wanda, but she has her own shield up, which is rapidly spreading across the room to protect the whole team. 

“Do _not_ hurt them,” she warns and her eyes flash red. 

Dr. Strange makes a convoluted gesture with his hands and big orange sparking circles appear in front of them. Wanda thrusts her own arms out at him, and he flies back into the stairs. He grunts and stands up, but Sam is already throwing himself at Strange. 

“Take your goddamn protection off and let us explain what we’re doing here, you dick,” Sam says, pinning Strange’s arms against the stairs. 

Strange struggles violently against Sam, but apparently without the use of his hands he can’t access whatever magic he possesses. 

Wanda hurries over to him and kneels down beside him and Sam. 

“Hurry,” Sam huffs. 

Wanda leans out and touches her hand to Strange’s cheek. Evidently the skin-on-skin contact is enough to break through his shielding charms (or Wanda’s magic is just that good) and Strange’s eyes flash red. 

He relaxes almost instantly with a simple, “Oh.” 

“Oh? That’s it? _Oh_?” Sam asks incredulously. 

No longer stuck to the ground, Bucky jogs over to check on Peter, who seems fine, if shaken.

“Could you please get off me, this is undignified,” Strange asks and he’s so calm that it’s freaking Bucky out a little. 

“You gonna behave?” Sam asks. 

“Oh come on. Get off,” Strange snarls.

Sam looks at Bucky who shrugs and nods in approval, and Sam heaves himself off Dr. Strange. Wanda gets to her feet as well, but no one is feeling quite amiable enough to offer Strange a hand. 

“You owe Peter an apology,” Bucky says.

“I did not know who he was or what he was talking about,” Strange says shortly. “I was defending myself and the Eye of Agamotto and would do so again.” 

Bucky rolls his eyes. 

“It’s fine,” Peter mumbles, which it’s not, but they don’t have time to argue about it now. 

“That said,” Strange continues, “The kid is still the only one I recognize. Who are all of you? I assume you’re here to help undo what Thanos did.” 

Bucky’s a little surprised Strange doesn’t recognize them — at least as this universe’s Avengers — but he supposes he probably had his head so far up his own ass here in his “Sanctum” that he didn’t bother with the outside world. Also, he doesn’t know what kind of history and memories this universe implanted in Strange. For all he knows, this Strange never even stepped foot outside.

Sam speeds through their introductions, pointing at each of them in turn and giving their names. 

“… And Bucky Barnes,” he finishes, pointing at him. 

Strange’s eyes widen at that. “_That_ Bucky Barnes?” he asks. 

Bucky sighs. “Yes but this really is not the time to get into all that. Peter said you had some sort of vision about there being only one path in which we defeat Thanos.” 

Dr. Strange sighs deeply. “If we’re going to talk about this, we may as well get comfortable. Come, I’ll take you to the sitting room.” 

* * *

The entire team is sitting around a conference table, looking over a drawing Steve’s sketching of the portal based on Tony’s directions.

“Yeah like that, but on both sides. Like an X, almost,” Tony says, pointing at a spot on the paper. 

Steve sketches what Tony describes. 

“No, bigger,” Tony says. “And round on the ends.” 

“Does it matter?” Natasha asks. 

“Do you want to know what to expect or not?” Tony snaps back. 

“Tony,” Steve says warningly. 

“What? You want me to recall, in detail, the most horrifying thing I’ve ever laid my eyes on, so we can plan to go _back_ to the place I came closest to dying — and yes I’m _including _the cave I was trapped in for three months with a car battery strapped to my chest — and you want me to, what, be calm about it? I’m sorry, Cap, but calm isn’t in my wheelhouse right now.” 

Steve sighs. “He’s right, Nat. The more detail we have on this, the better.” 

Natasha purses her lips and nods. She waves her hand as if to say “go on”, and Steve does. 

It takes them almost an hour before Tony’s satisfied with the way Chitauri command center looks. 

“Do you know where Thanos was?” Thor asks. 

“No. I never saw him. I just saw the ship that the Chitauri were dispatched from.”

“So we go through the portal, and then what?” Carol asks. “Where do we go to find him?”

“Beats me,” Tony answers. 

“Great,” Clint says. “So we essentially have no plan.” 

“We have a plan,” Steve says. 

“Is it really a plan if the plan is ‘wing it once we get to space’?” Clint asks, and Steve’s pretty sure it’s rhetorical. 

“Uh, guys,” Scott pipes in. 

“Do you have a better idea?” Natasha asks. 

“No, you know I love a good winging it plan, but this one seems like maybe it’s a little more important than the usual battle we fight,” Clint replies. 

“I’m with Clint on this one,” Thor says. “Not much of a plan just yet.” 

“I know, me too. I’m not being snarky,” Nat says. “I’m genuinely asking.”

“Guys,” Scott repeats. 

“If anyone has any better ideas, I’m all ears,” Steve says, peeved. “But unless someone can find some information on where Thanos likes to hang out in the next few days, this is as good a plan as we’re gonna get.” 

“GUYS!” Scott yells. 

This time, everyone falls silent and looks at him. 

“What?” Steve snaps. 

“Maybe you’ve already figured this out, but does anyone know how we’re planning on breathing once we, you know, go through the atmosphere to a place that has no oxygen?” Scott asks. 

Everyone sits in stunned silence for a moment, mulling over his words. 

“That is… an excellent question,” Steve says slowly. 

“Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Scott says. 

“Well shit,” Clint says. 

“Tony, your suit,” Nat says. “Could that, I don’t know, double as a space suit?” 

“With some adjustments, sure,” Tony says. “I could build in enough oxygen for a couple of hours in space.” 

“How long would it take you to build a couple of suits for us?” Steve asks. 

“I wouldn’t need one,” Thor says. 

“Me neither,” Carol seconds. 

“I wouldn’t be able to shrink in one of the Iron Man suits,” Scott says. “But I’m sure we could modify the Ant-Man suit to have built in oxygen stores.” 

“Okay, so Nat, Clint and I would need suits, and some mods to Scott’s. How long would it take you to do that?” Steve asks again. 

“Uh, yeah, that’ll take me no time at all,” Tony says, and his grimace is a little confusing to Steve.

Steve frowns. “What? No, we’d all need—” 

“No, literally _no time. _I uh, may have built all of the Avengers a suit already. After Ultron. Just in case.” 

Tony’s “Iron Avengers” are, apparently, stored in a lower level of the compound Steve never went to. 

“They were just there, all this time, and I never knew? I could’ve been _flying_ for _years_ and I never knew?!” Clint cries, outraged. 

“Hey,” Tony says. “They’re multi-million dollar gold-titanium nanoparticle battle suits. I wasn’t just going to give them out for fun.” 

“I had to get Wanda to catapult me through the air,” Clint says grumpily. 

“You loved that,” Natasha reminds him. 

“Well _yeah_ but it didn’t exactly give me, you know, agency.” 

Steve rolls his eyes. 

“Can we focus? Tony, these suits are entirely finished?” 

“Yup.” 

“How long did it take for you to learn how to maneuver in it?” Scott asks. “It took me weeks to figure out the Ant-Man suit.” 

“We have days, not weeks,” Steve cuts in. “We’ll do it in days, no matter what it takes.” 

* * *

Dr. Strange has conjured each of them up a beverage that refills as soon as it’s empty, and they’re sitting in a room decorated in dark greens and purples, with leather chairs and velvet curtains. There’s a fire roaring in the fireplace and despite the fact that it’s warm out, there’s a chill inside that probably has nothing to do with the temperature.

“I admit I did not see this coming,” Strange says from his seat in a frankly ridiculously ornate vintage armchair. “I knew that giving Thanos the Time Stone was essential for our ultimate triumph, and I knew he would complete his objective of snapping us out of existence, but I did not know the stones would do what they did.” 

“You know what happened?” Sam asks. 

“I can guess,” Strange confirms, nodding. “I don’t know for sure, but my speculations usually end up being correct.” 

Bucky has to put effort into not rolling his eyes. Wanda does no such thing. They make eye contact from across the room and Bucky’s lips quirk up at the sides. 

Wanda nods her head at Strange like she’s saying “can you believe this guy?” and Bucky fights back a wider smile. 

“So what’s your speculation, then?” Sam prompts. 

“The stones were created as a result of the _universe_ being created. I believe that when the stones were used once again, they did the opposite — they created their own, new universe, filled with all of the beings Thanos wanted gone.” 

“Interesting theory,” Bucky says. 

“Do you think the stones exist here and there?” Wanda asks, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. 

“I do not. There cannot be two sets, no matter which universe they are in, and I possess the Time Stone. And if I understand correctly, you have the Mind Stone, and are on your way to the Space Stone.” 

“Our plan is to get all six stones together again and undo what Thanos did. Do you think it’s possible?” Bucky asks. 

Strange considers for a moment. “Yes,” he says slowly. “I don’t pretend to understand the inner workings of the stones, and anyone who would is a fool, but from what I can _speculate_, I’d say yes. We could merge our universes back together by wielding the stones the way Thanos did.” 

“And your speculations are usually right,” Peter reminds him. 

“And my speculations are usually correct,” Strange agrees.

“Great. You gonna help us find the other ones?” Sam asks. 

“I’m hard pressed to find out how you’d do it without me,” Strange answers.

Bucky doesn’t suppress an eye roll this time. 

“Including the Time Stone, we’ve got three out of six. Or will, when Maria and Fury get to the Tesseract,” Bucky says. “In our universe, the Reality Stone was in something called the Aether, which was on Asgard. That’s where we think we should start looking.” 

“And how do you propose to travel to space?” Strange asks. 

“That’s where you come in!” Peter pipes up. He swirls his hands in the air in a circular motion. “With your portal making!” 

Strange frowns. “I don’t believe I will able to create a portal to Asgard,” he says. 

“Why not?” Sam asks. 

“I’ve never been there, nor do I know where to look.” 

“Can you make a portal to a person?” Peter asks. 

“If I’ve seen them before, yes.” 

“Okay, go to the Guardians then. They’ll have a spaceship that can take us to Asgard.” 

“That’s… actually not a bad idea,” Bucky says slowly. 

“You want to just to open up a magic portal onto someone else’s aircraft?” Sam asks, an eyebrow raised. “You don’t think that might cause some problems?” 

Bucky shrugs. “Probably will cause problems, but if we can’t get to Asgard and Dr. Strange here doesn’t know any other places in space, that might be our only option.” 

“How do your portals work?” Wanda asks, looking at Strange. 

Strange looks at her skeptically, like she couldn’t possibly understand the complexities of his magic. 

Wanda huffs. “Give me the simple version, then.” 

Strange raises his eyebrows. “The simple version is that I use my Sling Ring to open and sustain portals between any two points in the universe.” 

“_Cool_,” Peter says. Bucky agrees, but he’s not about to say that out loud and add to Strange’s already huge ego.

“So you can see through these portals, then? There’s an opening?” Wanda asks. 

“Yes.” 

Wanda nods in determination. “If we work fast, I’ll be able to reach the Guardians’ minds before they even realize what’s happening.”

“Yeah? You comfortable with that?” Bucky asks her. 

“Sure. I’d need to practice, but I’m confident I can do it.” 

“Great,” says Sam. “No time like the present.” 

*****

Bucky is in one of the upstairs rooms at the Sanctum Sanctorum, running his fingers along the spines of ancient books, reading the titles as he goes. None of them are books he recognizes, all about the mystic arts, and none of them fiction, but he reads each title anyway. 

Peter is on the opposite side of the room, hanging upside down in a corner. 

Strange will open a portal any minute now and Wanda’ll attempt to hit them both with her powers before they notice her. Wanda was worried about Bucky being one of her guinea pigs, what with how he reacted to her invading his mind or freezing him in the last couple of weeks, but Bucky insisted it be him. He wants to be able to confirm first hand whether or not it’ll work before they try it on people who may very well try to kill Wanda if she fails. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he sees orange sparks fly between him and Peter. He’s able to turn around and look through a strange circular window to see Wanda, Strange and Sam standing there (and seeing them in the library but not is a total mind fuck) and pull a knife before he feels Wanda prick inside his brain. She sends him a burst of fondness and he smiles, but shakes his head. 

“Too slow,” he says, waving the knife in his hand.

“You didn’t get me at all!” Peter says, hopping down from the ceiling and walking around the portal. 

“I didn’t know you were in there!” Wanda says, stepping through the portal to look around the room. 

“That was the point,” Sam says, stepping through as well. “We’re not gonna know how many people are on the ship and you need to sense them before they sense you.”

Wanda nods. 

“We gotta work on speed and sensing. Which do you want to tackle first?” Bucky asks. 

“Speed, I think,” Wanda answers. 

“Okay,” Bucky says, nodding. “Parker, you’re on leave but stay close for when we finish up. Strange, we’re going to keep doing exactly this until Wanda can hit me before I know the portal is open.” 

“You need me for that?” Sam asks. 

Bucky shakes his head. 

“Cool. Peter and I’ll discuss the Guardians then.” 

“I wasn’t with them for very long,” Peter warns. 

“Longer than any of us were,” Bucky reminds him.

The lot of them walk back through the portal and the sparks disappear, leaving Bucky alone. 

He sighs deeply and sits down in one of the squashy leather armchairs. He leans an elbow on one armrest and rubs at his forehead with his fingers. 

He takes his few minutes of alone time as a reprieve. He’s just so goddamn _tired_. He feels like he hasn’t stopped moving or thinking or planning since they fought the sorceress, which was only a few days ago but feels like decades. He misses Steve so much his entire body aches with it, but he hasn’t even had a minute to process what he’s feeling. 

Honestly, that may be for the better. If he stops to consider what’s actually happening, what already happened, he’ll probably break down and be useless to his team. Right now, they need him to be Captain America, be their team leader, and fix the entire damn universe. And he will. He’ll step up, he can. The sunshine patriot deserts, but the winter soldier stays at his post, no matter what. 

And he is the winter soldier, deep down.

He closes his eyes and pictures Steve, their home, their life. He wishes he could see him, even if it was just a photograph, but there’s not a single scrap of evidence that Steve existed here. Because he didn’t. Bucky knows they’ll find their way back to each other, they always do, but that doesn’t stop him from missing him.. 

He wonders if Steve remembers him. If the stones created a new universe and history for the people who weren’t snapped, too, or if they just kept going from the moment it happened. Secretly, and he won’t admit this to anyone, he kind of hopes they don’t remember. If he can fix this before Steve ever has to feel the pain of losing him again, he’d do anything. 

He doesn’t see the orange sparks this time — the portal must be behind him — but he feels it prickle at his awareness, and he’s standing and turned around by the time he feels Wanda invade his thoughts. 

“No knife this time,” he says, forcing a smile. 

“Are you okay, Bucky?” Wanda asks, frowning. 

“Sure, just thinking. Let’s go again.” 

The portal closes, he sits back down, and they go again. 

* * *

Within hours, Tony and Steve are on a jet headed to New York. The flight’s supposed to take nine hours in a Wakandan Talon Fighter, and they spend the first five of them in tense silence. Tony’s up front in the cockpit that doesn’t need manning, and Steve’s in the back near the cargo hold that is currently empty of all cargo. 

It’s been years since Steve and Tony spent any time alone together. They were never the best of friends, even before, but they had a type of companionship that Steve didn’t have with many other people. When Steve lived in the tower, there were plenty of nights when he couldn’t sleep and he’d roam the halls aimlessly before finding his way down to Tony’s workshop. Tony never questioned it, and would give him some scraps to let him tinker with alongside him in companionable silence. 

Eventually the silences got fewer and further between as they started opening up to each other. In the darkness of night, Steve ended up telling Tony things no one else knew, and he’s sure Tony did the same. They didn’t have much in common — and they likely never will — but trauma is trauma no matter how you swing it, and it was nice to know someone else had problems. 

Steve hasn’t… _missed_ Tony, per se, not with how angry he’s been about what Tony pulled with the Accords, but he missed the tentative friendship they had. He’s still mad about what happened, he never won’t be, but it’s time to bury the hatchet. Especially if they’re going to go to space together to fight Thanos again. 

Steve gets up out of his chair and walks to Tony. He sits down in the empty pilot seat beside him, but Tony doesn’t look at him. 

The silence stretches as Steve tries to find the words to express what he has to say. 

In the end, he’s not the one to break the silence. 

“You hurt me,” Tony says, still looking out at the clouds. 

“I’m—” Steve starts, but Tony shakes his head and continues. 

“I don’t blame you for choosing him. Hell, I don’t even blame you for your decision about the Accords. I actually kind of think you were right with that one, after everything. But you knew what happened to my parents and you didn’t tell me.” 

Steve grimaces. 

“I didn’t know for sure,” Steve says slowly. 

“Oh, bullshit,” Tony says and turns to face Steve sharply. “You can hide behind ‘maybe’ all you want, but we both know you knew with enough certainty that you should’ve told me.” 

Steve sighs. “You’re right, I should have. But I also knew that if I told you what Bucky did, you would’ve stopped helping me find him.” 

“You really think that little of me?” Tony asks, and Steve can see the hurt in his eyes. 

“Tony! You beat us both half to death when you found out!” 

“Yeah, and that was wrong. But consider my point of view, will ya? That week wasn’t easy for me either. I didn’t want to fight my friends but I was doing what I thought was right. And then when I found out I was wrong and Ross was committing all kinds of human rights violations, I came to help you. I came to tell you you were right, and that I was sorry, and then I found out you’d been hiding that from me the whole time. Of course I lost it. But did you ever stop to think that maybe if you had come to me with this, given me the information in a way that I could process it, maybe I would’ve reacted like an adult?” 

Tony’s speech hits Steve right in the gut. He’s felt guilty about this since it happened, of course he has, but this… It hurts. 

“I’m sorry,” Steve says. “I was wrong for not telling you, and I apologize for that.” And _only_ for that, Steve doesn’t add. But he knows Tony gets what he’s saying anyway. 

“I’ve forgiven Barnes for what he did — it wasn’t his fault and I know that. I’ve forgiven Nat for the double cross, and Sam for what I _thought_ he did to Rhodey, but obviously wasn’t his fault. I’ve forgiven all of it,” Tony says. 

“But you don’t forgive me.” 

“I don’t know,” Tony says honestly. “I do forgive you. But I don’t trust you not to do it again.” 

Steve flinches. He doesn’t know what to say to that. He doesn’t want to keep apologizing. 

Finally, he asks: “Do you trust me to have your back?” 

“I have to,” Tony replies. 

They fall into silence again. Steve leans back into the chair and sighs. 


	11. Chapter 11

The compound landing pad isn’t empty when they approach it. Through the front window of the jet, Steve can see Rhodey waiting at the edge.

Tony shuts the jet off and opens the back latch, and the two of them exit the hull.

“Taking time off from the President just to see little old me?” Tony asks Rhodey as soon as he’s within earshot.

“The President needs less supervision,” Rhodey jabs back.

Tony covers his heart with his hand like he’s wounded. When they’re close enough, they embrace.

“Rhodes,” Steve says when they part, and he and Rhodey shake hands.

“How’s it going over in Wakanda?” Rhodey asks as they make their way into the compound.

“You wouldn’t believe us if we told you,” Tony says.

“Try me.”

“We cracked time travel,” Tony boasts.

Rhodey stops in his tracks, eyes wide. “Bullshit.”

“We did,” Steve confirms.

Rhodey lets out a low whistle.

“What about here? How are things Stateside?”

Rhodey groans. “Listen, I know this ain’t about me. But damn if the state of things isn’t giving me a headache. There’s much more to keeping the world runnin’ than you’d think.”

“I’m sure,” Steve agrees.

Steve’s grateful when they reach the elevator and it ends the thread of conversation.

“Suits are in the sub-basement,” Tony tells them, and he pushes the button.

“I didn’t even know this building had a sub-basement,” Rhodey says.

“That’s because you don’t ever come to visit us here,” Tony replies.

“I’m sorry my duties as _Air Force colonel_ kept me from coming to your club house,” Rhodey says, but Steve can tell he’s just yanking Tony’s chain.

The elevator doors open onto a level of the compound that honestly, Steve also didn’t really know about. Sure, he vaguely knew it existed, but he’s never been or wondered what Tony did down here. He’d only ever gone as low as the lab because there was no reason to go to what he thought was just robot storage.

Which, Steve guesses, it still kind of is.

They follow Tony through a set of glass doors that require retinal scans, then to what looks like a concrete wall. Tony presses his palm against a nearly-invisible scanner and the wall opens up. When it reveals what’s behind it, Steve has to take a step back to steady himself, his mouth agape.

Next to three traditional red-and-gold Iron Man suits are ones that are unmistakably made for the rest of the Avengers.

There’s Natasha’s, the design mimicking the suit with the blue piping that she wore in the Ultron days. Then Clint’s, black with purple accents and his arrow icon over the chest. And then his own. It’s designed just like his Avengers uniform, red and white on the abdominals, blue at the top. The reactor is shaped like a star.

“Tony,” he says, throat tight.

“Oh Cap, don’t get sentimental on me now,” Tony brushes off. “FRIDAY designed them.”

Steve doesn’t believe that for a second.

“Wanna try yours on?” Tony asks.

Steve shakes his head. “I’ll wait until we get back.”

“Cool. FRIDAY, pack these bad boys up,” Tony commands.

“Yes, sir,” rings through the space in FRIDAY’s familiar Irish accent.

“I’m going to go grab the things I’ll need to modify Lang’s suit,” Tony says. “I’ll meet you upstairs.”

*****

By the time Tony is actually _ready_ to leave, Rhodey’s gone, it’s already verging on late, and he is, apparently, insatiably hungry.

“There’re protein bars on the jet,” Steve says, trying to convince Tony to just get out of there so they can get on their way.

“Ugh, those are terrible.”

“You made them!”

“Yeah for _you_. To get the amount of calories and protein packed into those things to satisfy your metabolism we had to sacrifice things like texture and flavor. No thank you. Let’s just make dinner before we go,” Tony says.

“Let’s _make_ dinner?”

“Yeah, you know, chop chop, sauté sauté.” Tony waves towards the kitchen. “Generally done in that area of the house.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Okay, and which of us is going to do that?”

“_I_ have personally never cooked before and I know that _you_ used to cook for the team. So, logic dictates that you should.”

Steve sighs heavily. “Is there even any food here?” he asks rhetorically as he makes his way to the kitchen. He opens some cabinets and finds that there’s dry ingredients in excess. No one may have lived here for years, but God forbid Tony let his properties go unstocked.

“Okay,” Steve acquiesces. “I’ll make us something, but if I hear even _one_ complaint I’m taking it away and force feeding you those bars.”

“Deal.”

“Hang on,” Steve tells Tony as they’re about to leave. “I forgot my phone.”

Steve hops over the back of the couch to grab it from the coffee table and is barely able to catch himself. He gasps, his heart jumps to his throat, and then he can’t breathe at all, keeps gasping, because this time he knows for sure what he’s feeling.

Bucky’s here.

“Oh God,” he whimpers and he wishes there was something for him to hold onto because he doesn’t know how he can stay upright.

“C’mon, Steve-o. Time to go,” Tony calls from the front door, but Steve can’t move.

“Bucky,” Steve whispers, choked up.

“What’s that?”

“Tony, we can’t go. Bucky. He’s here. I can feel him, he’s _here.” _

“What are you talking about?” Tony asks, coming back into view in the living room.

When Steve sees him, his knees finally do give out and he buckles, falling onto the couch. His heart is beating in his ears and his vision might be starting to tunnel, or he’s just imagining it because he can hardly focus on what he’s seeing when what he _feels_ is Bucky, _here_, within reach but nowhere close.

“Cap, are you okay?” Tony frowns.

Steve’s breath is coming fast. He shakes his head and does the one thing he promised he would never do again — he lets Tony see his weakness. “We can’t leave. I won’t leave, not while he’s here. Not while I can feel him.”

Tony comes around to stand in front of him and cocks his head to the side, assessing.

“Okay,” Tony finally says, “We’ll stay here until it passes.” And Steve relaxes a fraction when he realizes he’s not going to be forced to go anywhere. Not that Tony could force Steve to do anything in this moment, but at least he doesn’t have to fight him.

Tony disappears from his view and Steve doesn’t bother tracking him around the living room. He comes back moments later with a decanter of an amber colored liquid Steve assumes is Scotch, and two glasses. He fills them both, then takes one for himself and shoves the other towards Steve.

He sits in the loveseat opposite the couch, and sips.

They’re quiet. Steve doesn’t want to talk — he’s scared that if he opens his mouth, whatever it is that’s keeping Bucky’s spirit here will disappear and he’ll be alone again. He’s not ready to be alone again, not when he can feel Bucky with him.

The quiet doesn’t last. No quiet lasts long when Tony Stark’s around.

“What’s it feel like?” he asks.

Steve may not have hung out with Tony in years, but he still knows him deep down. They were good friends for a while there. Which is to say, Steve knows Tony is well on his way to drunk.

“What?” Steve croaks. He clears his throat and asks again.

“You say you can feel him. What’s it feel like?”

“It’s hard to explain,” Steve answers. He turns onto his back so he can stare up at the ceiling.

“Try,” Tony says.

“Tony—”

“Try,” Tony insists again. “Because we’re here now for you. And I’m… willing. To stay here, while you bask in your feelings of Barnes. But you need to remember that I lost someone, too, and the longer we sit here, the longer it takes before I get her back. So. Try to tell me how it feels so I can pretend I feel Pep while I drink myself to sleep.”

Steve bites his lip. If he’s honest, he did kind of forget that Pepper was gone, and he feels like a shitheel for it. How could he have forgotten? He knows most everyone’s lost someone, that’s not something you can forget, but how could he have forgotten _Pepper_? Lovely, sweet Pepper, who has never been anything but kind to him, even after everything that happened with the Accords.

To alleviate his guilt, he starts talking.

“I can’t feel him, physically,” Steve starts. “But I _almost_ can. It’s all _almost. _I can almost feel him, I can almost smell him, I can almost touch him. He’s here, somehow, but I think… I don’t know what Thanos did, but it feels like Bucky’s spirit is here. Like he’s in this _place_ but not this… _universe.”_

“It’s almost like… You know when you wake up and the bed is still warm, and it still smells like them, but they’ve already gotten up? And you just missed them being there? That’s kind of what it feels like.”

Steve hears Tony pour another drink.

***

“When did you and Pepper get back together?” Steve asks.

“Right after you and I stopped talking,” Tony answers.

“I’m happy for you. I really am. You deserve to have her.”

“I don’t deserve one tenth of her.”

***

“Tell me about Barnes.”

“Really?” Steve is skeptical.

“Sure. We’re clawing our way back to friendship here, aren’t we? So tell me about your lover.”

“Husband,” Steve corrects.

“No shit?” Tony says, sitting up to stare at Steve.

Steve can’t help but grin. “Shit.”

“When?”

“Wakanda. Couple’a months ago by some elders in the tribe neighboring our hut.”

“Wish I could’ve been there,” Tony says. Steve kind of wishes he had been, too.

“No one was there. Not even Nat or Sam. It was kind of spur of the moment and probably not really legal. When we get them back we’ll do it over. You can come to that one.”

“You’ll come to mine and Pep’s too, then.”

“I’m honored,” Steve says, and he means it.

***

“You never told me about Barnes,” Tony says, later.

“Got distracted.”

“Tell me now.”

“Okay,” Steve says. He starts at the beginning.

***

Steve doesn’t notice when he dozes off. All he knows is for the first time since Thanos snapped, he feels at ease, at least a little. He can feel Bucky all around him, like he’s wrapped up in a Bucky-blanket, and he thinks him and Tony are back in a good place.

When he wakes up in the morning, Bucky’s gone. It leaves him cold.

“Tony,” he says, voice rough with sleep. “Time to go.”

* * *

After Wanda succeeds in subduing him five times in a row, they decide she’s ready. Agreeing to start fresh in the morning, they go back to the compound to spend the night in a familiar place.

Bucky and Wanda cook for the group and they eat out of bowls in front of the TV in the living room, comfortable on floors and couches. They’re watching a few episodes of Star Trek, as they’ve always done to wind down after a mission or big training session.

But unlike their usual decompression time, there’s a tension in the room and it’s not hard to figure out what it’s about.

When they finish eating, Sam collects everyone’s dishes to bring to the sink. He returns with a beer for Bucky, which he accepts gratefully. Peter’s started webbing his hands, letting it stick and then peeling it off like he always does when he’s antsy — something similar to a trick kids apparently do in grade school, but with glue.

They watch another episode. No one says a word. Wanda magics some chips from a cupboard in the kitchen, which puts a smile on Bucky’s face but doesn’t get anyone talking beyond muttered thanks.

They watch another episode.

Peter eventually curls up on his favorite loveseat with a blanket, his head pillowed on his arms. Bucky can see his eyes droop.

Sam has slowly started to become horizontal on the couch, his feet inching closer to Bucky’s thighs every few minutes.

Wanda leans back against Bucky’s knees from her spot on the fluffy carpeted floor.

They watch another episode.

Bucky eventually shifts on the couch, removing his legs from Wanda and shoving them near Sam’s. Sam kicks at him twice and Bucky kicks back. They grin at each other lazily and then get comfortable.

On the screen, Captain Picard is having a conversation with Whorf when Bucky feels it.

He tenses, just a little, just for a second. But then the sensation settles over him and wraps around him like an old blanket.

Steve.

Last time he felt it, he didn’t know what it was. Just felt a presence, some being sharing his space. Now he knows it’s Steve. He doesn’t know how or where — probably in the compound in their real world — but he knows down in his bones that Steve is here.

It’s like he’s right there in the room with them. Right there on the couch, even. He closes his eyes tightly and his lower lip trembles briefly, overwhelmed by feelings. He lets out a long, slow breath. Then he smiles.

“Hi, Stevie,” he whispers. He can feel Wanda turn around sharply — the only one in hearing distance — so he opens his eyes to smile at her.

“Steve?” she mouths at him, her brows furrowed in confusion.

Bucky nods and taps his temple. She gets up on the couch with him, and then there’s not just Steve in his head, but Wanda, too. Her mouth opens and she lets out a soft gasp. Bucky shakes his head at her; “don’t say anything, let’s keep it between us for now” and she seems to understand what he means. She retreats from his mind and gives him another soft, small smile, then she turns her attention back to the TV. Gives him privacy.

Last time he felt this, it was short. Fleeting. This time it almost feels like Steve’s settling in with him for a while. He sinks into the couch and wraps the blanket tighter around his shoulders, closes his eyes again.

_What are you up to, Stevie?_ He thinks to himself. _Are you thinkin’ of me, too? Can you feel me, too? I miss you. I know you know that. I wish I could tell you I’m okay, wherever I am. I got a good team and we’re makin’ our way back to you. We’ll always find our way back together, Sweetheart. If 70 years of torture and ice can’t keep us apart, surely the universe can’t either. We have a plan. I’m comin’ for ya, Pal. It’s not the end of the line just yet._

He drifts off, eventually, his soul wrapped in Steve’s, content and as whole as he’s been since Thanos snapped his fingers.


	12. Chapter 12

When they arrive back in Wakanda, Steve and Tony go directly to Shuri’s lab to drop off the suits and the material Tony needed for the Ant-Man modifications. Based on the time of day, Steve expects to find it empty, but instead they find Thor. 

“Hey,” Steve greets when he sees him. “I thought you were back with your people?”

He meets Thor halfway through the room and they clap each other on the back. 

“I was,” Thor says. 

“How’re they doing?” Tony asks. 

“As well as can be expected,” Thor replies. “I wish I had more to give them, but I’m hopeful that the information that brought me back so soon will help speed up the process. I was looking for Princess Shuri, do you know where I might find her?” 

“She’ll be in one of the dining rooms,” Steve tells him. “What information do you have?” 

“I do not yet know exactly, but we need to lower the shields. There’s a spaceship incoming.” 

*****

They stand together as they watch the spaceship breach the shield. As soon as it has, the wind underneath it gusts over them, kicking up dust from the ground. Steve covers his mouth with his arm, elbow crooked. 

“Not a big ship,” Carol says to Thor as it’s landing. “What are they, bounty hunters?” 

“Not a big ship?” Scott mutters, flabbergasted. 

“Looks pretty big to me,” Clint agrees. 

“They’re individuals who fought with us against Thanos. They were a part of a team who called themselves the Guardians of the Galaxy. You heard of them?” 

Carol shakes her head. 

“Also, one of my good friends and fiercest warrior I know was a bounty hunter. They’re not all bad.” 

Steve looks at Thor and raises an eyebrow. Thor grins at him, wide and jovial. 

“Valkyrie,” he elaborates. 

“Huh,” Steve says. He already wanted to meet her, but now he does even more. Maybe when this is all over, he’ll visit the new Asgard and learn more about his friend’s life.

The ship touches down, and it’s only a minute or so before the hatch opens. Rocket strolls down the ramp, and with him is most likely the blue woman who found Tony. Nebula, Steve thinks. Unless there are multiple blue women in space which… there probably are. 

He doesn’t have much time to process that thought, however, because as soon as the woman’s face is visible, Carol’s whole body’s encased in blinding light, and she’s launched herself forward. 

“Whoa! What the—?!” Clint yells. 

“Princess, get back!” Steve hears Okoye order, and he assumes somewhere behind them, she, Shuri and Bruce are getting the hell outta dodge. This is not the time they want the Hulk to show up. 

Everyone else rushes forward. 

“Danvers!” Steve calls and he charges after her alongside Thor. 

Tony’s suit assembles around him mid-stride, and he grabs Nebula from behind. Her teeth are bared and her eyes are wild. 

“Easy there, Blue,” he says through the helmet. 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!” Rocket yells, holding his hands up. “What’s going on here? C’mon lady, back off!” 

Steve manages to grab a hold of Carol, but she elbows him in the gut and it sends him backwards by a few feet. He doubles over, clutching at his abdomen, and heaves. It’s been a while since he’s lost his wind that badly and needs to take a second to recoup.

“Carol!” Thor roars, and then his arms wrap around her chest, and she can’t push _him_ off. Thor manages to wrestle her back, and Tony and Natasha manage to do the same with Nebula. 

“Let me go!” Carol shrieks, and she glows ominously again, but Thor holds fast. 

“Danvers, stand down,” Steve demands after getting his breath back. “She’s with us.” 

“She’s _with you_?! Do you know who she is?” Carol asks, incredulous. 

“Yeah, maybe she’s killed a couple people but who hasn’t!” Rocket says. 

Nebula is still fighting against Natasha and Tony, but the fight seems to be going out of her at Rocket’s words. 

“Both of you, knock it off,” Natasha says and surprisingly both women listen. “How do you know each other?”

“She was a part of Ronan’s crew. They led an ambush that almost eradicated an entire _species_.” 

“Yeah, yeah, we know. We’ve moved passed it. She’s also Thanos’s daughter, if you needed another thing to be mad about, but we’re over that too,” Rocket says. 

“You killed my friend,” Nebula spits at Carol. 

“You killed _dozens_ of mine.” 

“And Thanos killed millions,” Natasha says. “That’s what we’re here for, and we need everyone we can get on our side, so it’s time to grow up and get over it. Can you do that?” 

Carol raises her chin defiantly. “I can.” 

“I can, too,” Nebula says quickly, not wanting to outdone. 

“Good. Now, you’re here for a reason. Does that mean you have information on Thanos?” 

“I have _all_ the information on Thanos,” Nebula says, and the grin that slowly spreads across her face is wicked. 

* * *

They’re back at the Sanctum the next morning. Bucky is buzzing with energy, excited but equally apprehensive about, well, everything they’re about to do. 

Wanda is sitting on one of the leather couches in the room Strange led them to, wringing her hands together. 

“Are we waiting for something I’m not aware of, or are we just wasting time?” Strange asks, raising a snide eyebrow at Bucky and Wanda on the couch. 

Bucky’s about to tell him where to shove his attitude, but Sam beats him to it. 

“Lay off, will you?” he snaps. 

Bucky sits down on the couch next to Wanda and grabs her hand. He looks at her long and hard.

“You ready?” he asks her.

She takes a deep breath, then nods decisively. 

“I’m ready. I can do this,” she says and the surety of her tone makes Bucky believe her to his bones. 

Both of them stand up and Wanda rolls out her neck a couple of times. 

“Okay,” she says. “Let’s do it.” 

*****

The portal is open between the Sanctum and the Guardians’ spaceship. Bucky can see through and he’s poised to run, hands on his guns just in case. 

“Okay, go,” Wanda says, the red tendrils of her magic extending from her fingertips through to the other side of the portal. 

Bucky, Sam and Peter rush through the portal, with Dr. Strange following them at a sedate pace. Wanda slips through last, and then the portal closes. There are three… _beings_ onboard who look like they’re straight out of Bucky’s old pulps — he isn’t sure he can call them people, what with the way they look — and each of them have the tell-tale red eyes that means Wanda has them under her, well, spell, for lack of a better word. 

Sam, Bucky and Peter each step in front of one of them, guns and web shooters raised and ready to shoot. It feels shitty, bursting onto someone’s ship and pointing guns at them when they’re incapacitated, but Bucky’s priority is his team, and he’d rather be safe than sorry.

“Wanda, why does that tree have glowing eyes?” Peter asks, but before anyone can process that, Wanda’s released her hold on the Guardians and everything is happening at once. 

The most human-looking one (Quill, according to Peter) is in front of Bucky, and as soon as his eyes fade from red to blue he’s yelling “What the FUCK!” and pulling his own gun, and Bucky disarms him immediately, talking over him, saying “Please calm down, don’t freak out, we’re on your side.” And on the other side of the ship, Sam’s saying “Is that tree playing Atari?” in a gobsmacked voice, and then there’s some unintelligible grunting from Peter. The woman with the antennae is screaming, and Dr. Strange is behind him, so he can’t quite see what he’s doing, but Bucky’d like to hope Strange is helping, because this is _chaos_ and way worse than they anticipated, and then Quill is yelling “DON’T CALL HIM A TREE” and really what the fuck is actually going on at this point. 

Bucky has his gun pressed against Quill’s chest, but Quill doesn’t really seem to care or even notice as he tries to wriggle away and swats at it, and then out of the corner of his eye, Bucky sees Peter being _lifted off the ground_ by a fucking _tree_ in the middle of outer space and what is Bucky’s life, this new universe is way weirder than the original, and that’s saying something. 

Then over the cacophony of noise, he hears Strange shout “Enough!” and miraculously, everyone falls silent and stops moving. 

“Who are you, please?” the woman (?) in front of Strange asks pleasantly. 

“We’re trying to tell you but your tree is holding one of our kids hostage so maybe release the kid and we’ll tell you,” Sam says. 

“He is not a tree! His name is Groot. Have some respect,” says the very large, sort of blue man in front of Sam. 

“I… really don’t know what to say to that,” Bucky admits. He looks at Sam, then at Peter being held off the ground by the tree (and god dammit it _is_ a tree) and then at everyone else on the ship, and then he just sighs and his shoulders deflate a little. 

“Cap?” Wanda asks, smiling kind of smugly at him from her position at the side of the ship. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Bucky says, shaking his head, because she was right and tried to convince them to let her restore their memories before they woke them up, but Bucky insisted on explaining beforehand and here they are. 

Wanda’s hands glow red, the Guardians’ eyes do, too, and when they return to their original state, Peter thumps to the ground with a soft “I’m okay!”. 

“_Oh_,” says Quill, and then he drops to his knees. “Shit.” 

*****

“So you want us to take you to Asgard,” Quill says later, after Bucky’s made the request. 

Peter and Drax are arm wrestling, and Wanda and Mantis are comparing powers. Groot is back to his video game, leaving Quill as the sole Guardian spokesperson.

“If you’d be so kind,” Strange says, and Bucky really wishes he’d keep that damn _attitude_ out of his tone because they’re trying to make friends here, not new enemies. 

They have enough of those. 

“Okay,” Quill agrees, nodding. “We can do that, and then we’ll swing by Morag and get the power stone.” 

“Swing by?” Sam asks, raising an eyebrow. “It’s that easy?” 

“It was… honestly pretty easy, yeah, the first time I got it.” 

“You think it’ll be in the same spot?” Bucky asks. 

Quill shrugs. “Maybe. It was there for centuries before I snagged it and brought it to Xandar, so maybe it wanted to go back to its cozy hangout from before it was used to destroy and recreate a whole universe.” 

“Well if that’s all, can we get going?” Strange interjects. “I’d rather like to get home soon.” 

“Yup. You earthlings may want to grab one of the trash bags before you settle in and buckle up. You’re going to barf when we reach max speed.” 

“I’m not going to _barf_,” Strange replies, with disgust coloring his words. 

He barfs. 

They all do. 

Bucky hates space.

* * *

Nebula wasn’t kidding about knowing everything about Thanos. Every part of their plan that had been guesswork a week ago has now either been thrown out or confirmed. Not only was Nebula able to fill in all of the blanks in Steve’s drawing of the Chitauri command center, she also was able to pinpoint the more-or-less exact location of Thanos’s ship, as well as provide detailed blueprints and instructions for what to do once they board it. 

With the information she’s given them, it’s clear how poorly thought out their plan was, and how impossible it would’ve been to succeed. Steve and his team may know how to wage war on Earth, but going into an actual spaceship without any information about its insides was going to be suicide, and they didn’t even realize. 

With their old plans thrown out the window, they’re back to square, well, not quite one, but maybe square two of planning. Shuri has digitized the images Nebula and Steve drew together, and now they’re up on invisible screens throughout the room, some flat, and some in 3D, able to be spun around, zoomed in, and analyzed.

“When Thanos had control over Loki, I was on missions with Ronan,” Nebula tells them. “My father did not pay close attention to me during that time, which we can use to our advantage.” 

“I think I speak for all of us in this room when I say I know how that feels,” Tony says. 

“Pretty much,” Clint agrees. 

“Having father issues is pretty much a requirement to be an Avenger,” Bruce adds.

“Can we focus?” Steve asks. He’s standing near the projected image of Thanos’s throne room, studying the entrances and exits. 

“Sorry, Cap,” Clint apologizes.

Nebula continues. 

“Thanos did not keep track of my whereabouts, so if I showed up to his ship to speak with him, he would not find it odd. His soldiers know me, they would let me through without question. I will be able to get us right to his door without a single alarm raised.” 

Clint lets out a low whistle. “Darlin’, where have you been this whole time?” 

*****

After they’ve reviewed the new plan from every possible angle, they call it quits for the day. Every day, there are multiple areas in the palace that serve food, and Steve thinks the team may be a bit sick of being cooped up together for so many hours, so he doesn’t insist that they eat together. 

He does, however, want to talk to Carol before she takes her leave. 

“Danvers,” he says as they’re all standing up. 

Carol looks at him and raises an eyebrow. Steve cocks his head to the side, nodding to the balcony. As they walk over, he makes eye contact with Nat, who looks intrigued. He gives her a “I’ll tell you later” look, and she nods and leaves the room, trailing behind Clint who is complaining about how Wakandan pizza is nowhere near as good as American pizza. Steve actually agrees with him — no pizza in the universe will ever beat a good ol’ New York slice — but doesn’t have time to say so. 

“What’s up, Captain?” Carol asks when they’re outside alone. 

“Nebula killed your friends,” Steve says, not bothering to beat around the bush. 

Carol does not flinch. “She did.” 

“Now our entire future hinges on trusting her and her plan.” 

“It does.” 

“You gonna be able to handle that? I can’t have people on my team who don’t trust each other. That’s a liability. This thing is going to be extremely dangerous, and we have a very tight timeline. If I have to wonder, even for a second, that there’s going to be an issue with you two, we’re in deep shit.” 

Carol squares her shoulders and looks him dead in the eye. 

“You don’t have to worry about me, Captain.” 

“Steve,” Steve corrects. 

“Steve, then. I know what’s at stake. If you all trust her, I’ll go with it. What happens after we bring the world back is up for debate, but for now I can play nice.” 

Steve nods and turns to look at the horizon, where the sun is slowly slipping behind the plains far in the distance. His home is that way. He and Bucky frequently climbed onto their roof to watch the sunset together, right over the tips of the surrounding trees. 

“So, you knew Nick Fury?” Carol asks after they’ve been silent for a moment. 

Steve laughs humorlessly. 

“Sure. I knew Fury.” 

“Didn’t like him?” Carol asks. 

Steve shrugs. “Fury and I… had a complicated relationship. There wasn’t a lot of trust there in the early years, and that went both ways. He sent me on missions without the whole story, and I defied his command more times than I didn’t. Then we found out the organization we worked for was compromised and brought it down together. We came to a tenuous understanding. We’ve seen each other a couple of times since then, but mostly he calls Natasha and she relays the message if she thinks it’s important enough.”

“Hm. He ever tell you he was a big fan of yours as a kid? Your whole unit, really. Especially Private Jones.” 

Steve laughs, for real this time. “No, he never told me that, and he won’t be happy that you did, either. His second-in-command, Coulson, _he_ was a real fanboy. Fury always pointed to him when he talked about people looking up to me before I came out of the ice. I was always under the impression he thought I was a clown, which is pretty fair, considering. Gabe, though. I’m glad he had someone like Gabe to look up to.” 

“Captain Rogers, you may have started out with the USO but you went down in history as one of the brightest tactical minds and most brilliant strategists of the century. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit,” Carol says. 

Steve shrugs. “Sure. Either way I’m sure Fury was disillusioned when he met me in person.” 

They lapse into silence again. 

“Well, good talk. I’m starving, though, so if that’s all, I think I’m ready for some of that Wakandan pizza. Is it any good?” Carol asks. 

Steve grins. “That depends on your standards. If you’re from New York? Nah.” 

“Grew up in Boston, then Louisiana, then space.” 

“You poor thing. You’ll love it.” 

Carol gives him a friendly punch on the shoulder as they make their way inside. 


	13. Chapter 13

Getting into Asgard is, surprisingly, the easiest thing they’ve done so far. There’s an actual entrance hall a ways away from the city, with a big old rainbow looking bridge connecting the two, that’s literally called the Rainbow Bridge.

Even from a distance, Bucky can tell that Asgard is the most beautiful and mind boggling thing he’s ever seen. _This_ is the space stuff his pulps were made of. Not shitty spaceships and barf bags.

Quill and his crew don’t stick around long enough to see whether or not Bucky and his team are allowed into the celestial city. Bucky doesn’t really blame them, especially not after learning that Thanos killed one of their teammates and, in Quill’s case, girlfriend (even though Peter told them that’s the reason Thanos got away in the first place, which Bucky staunchly _does not_ _think about_ or he may kill Quill before they can even get back home).

So it’s just the five of them standing awkwardly in the reception hall while the guard eyes them skeptically and summons someone more important than himself to decide whether or not to let them in.

“Is this really necessary?” Strange asks.

Bucky finds that he’s very huffy and impatient for a man who’s supposed to be a master of the ancient magical arts. Fuckin’ wizards, man.

“If you’re too good to wait, you’re welcome to leave,” the guard says.

“We’ll stay,” Sam interjects, before Strange has the chance to respond.

Strange glares at him. Sam glares back.

It’s really not that long before he sees the silhouette of a woman appear on the rainbow bridge, and she approaches rapidly (faster than Bucky thought possible), growing in size until in the blink of an eye she’s standing right in front of them.

“Lady Sif,” the guard says, bowing a little to the new arrival. “These people say they are from Earth and have an important task to undertake. They wished to speak to whomever best knew Thor. I told them Thor was only a story told to children, but they insisted.”

“So you called me,” the woman — Lady Sif, apparently — says.

“Indeed, m’lady.”

“You did well. Please,” she says as she turns to Bucky’s team. “Come with me. It seems there are matters to be discussed.”

*****

Bucky is getting sick of telling this story. He’s sick of having to explain things he doesn’t even understand himself. He’s sick of consoling others when it’s taking everything in his power not to break down weeping over how much he misses Steve. Sure, he’s doing okay, and he has unshakable faith that he’ll find his way back to him — he can’t not, with their history — but he’s still hurting, deep down. So he’s sick of it, and ready to move on to the part where he’s home already.

Which is all to say that he’s a little checked out emotionally and leans a little on his team, and lets them tell Sif the whole story.

While in their universe Thor and his ex-girlfriend dealt with the Aether and the Reality Stone, in this universe Lady Sif and her warriors fought with a different race or species when a similar convergence happened, and Bucky’s a little fuzzy on the details, but the long story short is that the Reality Stone is in a place called Valhalla, which Bucky definitely didn’t think was real but apparently is. But then, he also thought that about Thor, and Loki, and all the other stuff he used to read about in his books.

But it does seem like a really good hiding place for an Infinity Stone, because to retrieve it, you have to die a hero’s death. Bucky thinks maybe the Reality Stone really didn’t want to be used again in this new universe and that’s why it put itself there.

“And there’s no way to trick Valhalla into accepting someone who’s alive?” Sam asks for the second time, because he seems to be having as much of a hard time with this as Bucky is.

Lady Sif shakes her head again.

“What about someone who died a hero and came back to life?” Bucky asks. The team’s sitting around a table on a balcony of the palace, but Bucky’s at the railing, staring wistfully out over the vast expanse of Asgard. The water and the city both shimmer golden. It’s one of the most beautiful things he’s seen in his life.

“Dude,” Sam says, low.

Bucky turns around to look at them

“Are you calling yourself a hero?” Dr. Strange asks.

Bucky laughs a little bitterly. “Not in our real world, no. But in this one I was. In this universe, I was Steve.”

An uncomfortable silence stretches across the group.

“Bucky, you were you,” Wanda says in a quiet voice. Bucky smiles at her and feels warmth flood him in that special way she has. He walks to her and puts his hands on her shoulders, looking over her at the rest of them.

“So?” he prompts.

Sif looks torn. “Perhaps,” she says.

“Can we try?” Peter asks.

Sif nods. “We can always attempt. Though before we do, I must tell you some things. First, no one who has ever gone to Valhalla has returned to tell the tale, so I can’t warn you what it may be like. I only know stories the way people on earth know stories of heaven. If those are to be believed, Valhalla is the most wonderful place you’ll ever imagine and beyond that. You will not want to return, because you’ll have everything you could possibly want.”

Bucky’s not worried about that. Valhalla may have everything, but it won’t have Steve, and that alone is enough to want to return to the world of the living.

“Second, you cannot take your body with you. Valhalla is for the soul, and the body is meant to remain in the material world. But there are ways we can separate your soul from your body and keep your body alive. It will be almost like your body is frozen.”

Bucky interrupts with a bark of laughter. “Wow. Okay, sure. Looks like every universe wants to freeze me half to death.” And though his words are dark, his tone is light, because what are the freaking odds.

Sam shakes his head at him and rolls his eyes, half fond, half exasperated.

Sif looks the question to him — what do you mean? — but Bucky shakes his head and gestures for her to continue.

“Third is that we do not know how time works in Valhalla, or if it exists at all. We return you to your body before you’ve been able to reach the stone, or it may take what feels like an eternity for us to call you back. There is no way of knowing, and you may be lost in there for a long time.”

This makes Bucky a little nervous, but it’s nothing he can’t get over. If Valhalla really is as wonderful as they say, he guesses he can stay there for a bit. He and Steve have been apart for decades, what’s another lifetime?

“Okay,” Bucky says, because what else is there to say? “Is there anything else I should know about?”

Lady Sif shakes her head. “Not that I am aware of, but like I’ve said, no one has returned from Valhalla so we cannot know what happened there. We don’t even know where the stone is.”

“How did you get the stone in there anyway?” Sam asks.

“A very noble warrior sacrificed herself with the stone on her person. When the light went out in her eye, the stone disappeared with her.”

“So you’re not actually _sure_ if the stone is there,” Strange says. “You think it is, because it disappeared with her, what, soul? What if it moved itself.”

Lady Sif looks at Strange with hard eyes, like he’s speaking ill of the woman who sacrificed her life to ensure the stone’s safety.

“Forgive me, Doctor Strange, you may be a master of the Time Stone, but please do not pretend to understand any of the others,” she says, and that shuts Strange right up.

Bucky hides a smile.

* * *

The next morning, Steve, Natasha and Clint are up early for flight training. Given the fact that Shuri’s labs are all underground and not particularly made for flying, they’ve been relegated to an outdoor War Rhino training ground, a little ways outside the Palace grounds.

They’re alone except for Tony, who’s necessary for teaching them how to use the suits, and Shuri, who had a “very compelling argument” that she may need to “help Tony” make “adjustments to their suits” so she needs to be able to “see them in action”.

Steve’s pretty sure she’s full of shit, a suspicion which is only strengthened by the fact that Shuri’s currently propped on one of the fences with a phone in her hand, pointed directly at them.

“So I just…” Natasha starts, and then makes the hand gesture Tony showed them. Her suit materializes around her as if from thin air. It’s nothing Steve hasn’t seen Tony do a hundred times, but seeing Natasha get encased in an Iron Man suit is quite a sight.

Steve will never, ever understand Stark’s Nanotech and it will always be one of the coolest things he’s ever seen. Not that he’ll admit that to Tony.

“Hot damn,” he breathes as her face plate clanks into place.

The eye slits light up electric blue like her old Widow suit, but the reactor hourglass is blood red.

“This is neat,” Natasha says, and her voice has the same distortion that Tony’s has when he’s talking from inside the suit — slightly tinny and on a different frequency than normal human speech.

Briefly, Steve wonders if other people hear that, or if it’s just him and his super soldier hearing.

Then it’s Steve and Clint’s turns to suit up. And even though he knew it was going to happen, trusted that Tony’s tech would work the way it’s supposed to, he’s still surprised when the pieces of metal fit themselves around his limbs, his chest, his face.

When the faceplate closes, the sounds of Wakanda disappear and all he can hear is the sound of his own breathing. It suddenly starts coming too fast, and for a minute he thinks there’s not enough oxygen in the suit, that he’s going to suffocate to death. It’s a sensation he’s felt only one other time, and it was in the vita ray machine, moments before his life changed forever.

“Captain, your heart rate is significantly elevated. May I suggest taking some deep breaths,” FRIDAY says in his suit, and it sounds like she’s _inside his head_, and that’s worse than the silence.

He wants to claw at the face plate, take the suit off, throw it across the field, never put it on again, but he doesn’t even know how to move his own body. He’s worn armor before; tac vests and bulletproof clothing that were stiff and hard to move around in, but nothing like this. His feet are stuck to the ground, his arms stuck at his side, and he _can’t move_.

But then his faceplate flips open and he can _breathe_ again. When it does, he sees four concerned faces staring back at him.

“You okay, Cap?” Tony asks, frowning.

“Steve?” Natasha adds.

Steve shakes his head, trying to clear his thoughts, and that’s when he realizes he _can_ shake his head. The suit moves around him intuitively. It’s not a coffin designed to lock him in, but a piece of armor, there for protection.

Okay. Okay. He can do this. He’s fine.

He lifts his arm and there’s no drag, nothing that feels like it’s weighing him down.

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay,” Steve says, finally. “Just… weird, is all.”

“Tell me about it,” Natasha says, and she smiles warmly at him.

“You get used to it,” Tony promises.

They go through a number of different arm movements that Tony says will eventually trigger a different array of weapons and blasts. Twist your hand like this and you’ll shoot a repulsor beam from your palms; turn your wrist like so and you’ll trigger a missile launch. Then it’s on to eye-commands. Double blink to focus on a target; flick your eyes to the side to scroll; remember FRIDAY can track your every movement, so if you ask her to zoom in, she’ll know what you want to see.

It’s a lot to remember, but Steve catches on quickly, and most of it is intuitive anyway. He knows how to focus on things, knows how to use his arms as weapons.

What he does _not_ intuit is the flying. Jesus christ, the flying.

Tony has put on the bottom half of his own suit for this to demonstrate.

“It takes some practice to stabilize,” Tony says. “It’s easy to overbalance at first, but once you find your center of gravity it’s easy.” He’s a few feet above the ground, holding perfectly still.

Natasha, unsurprisingly, is the first one to achieve liftoff. She’s six inches off the ground and immediately overbalances, throwing herself forwards. She brings her hands up and the palm blasts counteract and stabilize her.

“Nice!” Tony cheers.

Nat looks up and beams, looking incredibly proud and childlike at the same time. She flies a little higher, then a little more, and then gets overconfident. Her hand repulsors blast higher than her feet and she’s down on her back in the suit seconds later.

“Ow,” she says, frowning.

Clint, Steve, Tony and Shuri laugh.

“Oh yeah? You think you can do any better?” Natasha taunts, pushing up onto her hands and sitting upright.

“Was I, or was I not the first Avenger outside of Cap to master the shield throw?” Clint asks, boasting.

Steve rolls his eyes. “You were,” he confirms.

He doesn’t mention how Bucky was able to figure out the shield within a few days — way faster than Steve — and it took Clint months.

“Have I, or have I not, been the only person to—”

“Less talk, more action!” Shuri says from the sidelines. She holds her phone up to capture the moment.

“Psh,” Clint says. “Watch me.”

Almost before Steve realizes what’s happening, Clint’s six feet up in the air, flies backwards at breakneck speed, and smashes into a tree. The tree never stood a chance, exploding into pieces. Birds take flight, escaping the mess, squawking as they go, and Clint hits the ground with a thunk. There are branches sticking out of every nook and cranny of his suit.

It’s dead silent for a moment and then —

Steve doesn’t think he has laughed this hard in years. There are tears running down his cheeks, he’s doubled over and wheezing, and needs to lean his gauntleted hands on his knees to keep from falling over. Shuri actually does fall off the fence.

“That is going to go viral!” she says through raucous laughter.

“We will _never_ speak of this!” Clint calls from where he’s still covered in tree.

“We will _absolutely_ speak of this, every day, for the rest of forever,” Natasha croaks.

It takes them a good fifteen minutes to calm down and resume their lessons. Steve’s up next, and he has Clint’s catastrophe fresh in his mind to keep him from getting too cocky.

Getting off the ground is fairly easy, but keeping himself balanced is absolutely not. He has a deep, newfound respect for Tony, who’s been doing this for years acting like it’s easy.

He briefly thinks Tony must have abs for days, because the amount of core strength Steve’s exerting right now is bound to give him hell tomorrow. Or, it would, if his body still did that kind of thing.

But Steve also refuses to let the suit (and Natasha) win, so he stubborns through it.

Slow, but steady, he tells himself. Though the circumstances are nothing alike, he’s reminded of decades ago, when he was still small and sickly.

He and Bucky’d saved for weeks to see a brand-new Disney picture in theaters called _The Tortoise and The Hare. _An old fable brought to life on the big screen that Steve coulda watched a hundred times if he’d had the money for it. In the end, they only saw it twice, but it’d stuck in their vocabulary forever.

Any time Steve’d get frustrated that he couldn’t do something as quickly as the other kids, Bucky’d break out his new favorite sayings: “Don’t be a hare, Stevie” or “Remember the tortoise always wins, Stevie.”

It’d driven Steve _nuts_, but he’d delighted in being able to give Bucky his comeuppance during the war whenever _he_ tried to do things too quickly.

It makes Steve wistful, for a moment. He hasn’t thought about that in a long time. When he gets Bucky back, he’ll be sure to bring it up again.

So, now, he tells himself “don’t be a hare, Steve,” and slowly but steadily learns how to fly.

* * *

Asgardian technology is lightyears ahead of that on Earth, which means they can essentially freeze his body with… well, they look like crystals that apparently beam some freezing air at him which will suspend his body and it’ll free his soul to leave. Or something.

Again, Bucky is a little fuzzy on the details because this shit is so far beyond his comprehension that trying to understand it is a Herculean task.

It also means they can freeze him pretty much wherever, so he requested somewhere with a view so that when he falls asleep he can look at something pretty instead of the inside of a cryo tank.

His team is surrounding him, with Dr. Strange having portaled himself back home for the time being, which Bucky prefers. Wanda is holding his hand, but she’ll have to step outside the crystals when they start.

“I can be with you, if you’d like,” she offers quietly. The Asgardians are still bustling around them, preparing for the procedure.

“In my mind?” Bucky asks.

She nods. “I won’t be with you when you leave, but I can help you fall asleep. Keep you calm.”

“Please,” he says, and he’s a little embarrassed about how close it sounds to begging. “Yes, please, I’d like that.”

Wanda nods. An Asgardian woman steps up and tells them they’re ready.

There’s a bed they’ve made up for him near the edge of the balcony, tall enough for him to be able to see over the stone balustrade. He takes a deep breath and hops on. Wanda takes his hand again. They’ve explained the procedure twice, but explain it one more time before he takes the plunge.

“Do you understand?” the woman asks when she’s done.

Bucky extends his hand, flat out, and wiggles it back and forth for “kinda”.

“I know the important things,” he says.

“Which are?” she prompts.

“It’s not gonna hurt, I won’t feel a thing, and I’ll feel you pull me back, but I’ll have to submit to it for it to work.”

“That about sums it up,” the woman agrees.

Bucky lays down on the bed, and Sam steps up to him. He puts his hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezes, hard.

“You come back, you hear me? I don’t care what kind of warrior reward they give you. You come back. We need you,” he says urgently, and Bucky feels his feelings well up in his throat.

“I’m coming back, Sam,” Bucky promises. _Steve needs me,_ he thinks, but doesn’t say out loud.

Sam nods once, firm, and steps back. Bucky turns his head to look at Wanda, who is radiating calm and smiling serenely at him, like she doesn’t have a worry in the world. Within seconds he can feel tendrils of that calmness sweep through his limbs, settling his body at once.

“Thanks,” he whispers.

She brings Bucky’s hand up to her cheek and presses against it. “Always,” she replies.

He squeezes her hand once more, then lets go. Wanda steps back outside the circle, but he can feel her in the back of his consciousness. He closes his eyes.

“I’m ready.”

* * *

There comes a point when they no longer have any reason to put off the mission. Everyone is suit and flight tested, they’ve done all the team training exercises they can do, and all of the tech is ready. As much as he’s been waiting and itching to go fix this whole mess, Steve can’t deny that the prospect of setting everything in motion tomorrow morning makes him nervous as hell.

Because what he hasn’t let himself admit to anyone else, or even himself, is that he’s terrified they might fail. So much of their plan is theoretical and they don’t really have an idea how any of it will play out. He’s not so worried about the Thanos part — without the stones, with Nebula’s knowledge, and with Carol on their side they should be fine — but it’s the time travel aspect that’s secretly shaking him to his core.

Sure, they know it _works_. But all they’ve really proven is that they can send someone through time and bring them back. They don’t know if killing Thanos in the past will actually do anything to reverse the snap, or bring anyone back, or change the future. It’s all so goddamn theoretical, and Steve is deeply afraid.

But that’s not an option for him right now. He’s their captain, and he needs to believe in the plan and get his team across the finish line. He needs to believe it’ll work, or it never will. And he _knows_ that. But that doesn’t make it easier.

So instead of spending the last night before the mission with his team, he opts for solitude and heads home. The team understands — or if they don’t, they do a good job pretending.

The neighbor kids aren’t there, which he’s secretly grateful for, as much as he enjoys their company. Before he goes inside for the night, he takes care of Bucky’s goats, filling their water trough and making sure there’s hay for them to snack on. His favorite goat (though he’ll never admit to having one) is still here, and she ambles over to let him scratch her head for a bit.

When he’s done, he lets himself inside and tries to ignore how empty it feels. There’s some non-perishables in the kitchen and a number of frozen meals Bucky prepared a while back in the freezer. He heats up one of Bucky’s stews and puts up some rice to go with it, and when it’s done he takes both to the hammock outside.

He props the bowl up on his stomach and eats it laying down, like an animal. If Bucky were here he’d be appalled, and if Steve could trade, he’d rather be berated by Bucky than eat laying down, but Bucky’s not, so he does.

The bowl is biodegradable and made of bamboo and sugarcane, so when he’s done, he tosses it into the goat pen for them to eat and heads back inside.

He enters their bedroom and goes to the closet. Instead of picking out some of his own pajamas to sleep in, he grabs a pair of Bucky’s. He presses the fabric to his nose and inhales deeply. He only smells their detergent — any smell of Bucky is long gone. It doesn’t stop him from grabbing a few more of Bucky’s clothing items (two sweaters, and one of his shawls) and brings them to bed, where he climbs into Bucky’s side and holds them close.

He doesn’t sleep until darkness falls, but when it does, he dozes off eventually. He sleeps surprisingly well; a gift he’s always been blessed with before missions.

He doesn’t set an alarm — he wakes with the sun.

He gets out of bed and pulls on his suit.

Right before he leaves the hut, he pauses, closes his eyes, and takes a few deep breaths. He leaves his nerves as he steps outside.

Time to save the world.


	14. Chapter 14

The first thing Bucky notices is the smell — it’s sweet, a mixture of fresh grass and flowers, maybe some fruit. He opens his eyes, and he’s standing in a field dotted with trees holding different fruits and blossoms, with wildflowers sprouting up every few feet. The grass around him sways softly in the breeze, brushing his shins. He can hear the flitter of hummingbird wings, calls of birds, rustling of trees. 

It’s the most peaceful and beautiful thing he’s ever witnessed. 

He looks down at himself and notices he’s wearing one of his Wakandan robes, which leaves his feet bare. The shawl that usually wraps his stump is now hanging loosely under his left arm. His flesh and blood left arm. 

_Huh_, he thinks, and turns his hand over a few times to look at it. Even his old scars are there.

There’s a snuffling sound behind him that makes him turn and he finds a… horse. Maybe. It looks like a regular horse, except for how it has twice as many legs as he thinks it should have. The horse walks over to him slowly, eyes glittering with interest. Its hair is so white, it’s hard to look at. 

“Hi there,” Bucky murmurs, and raises his arms slowly as to not spook the horse. It comes up to him and noses Bucky’s hand. 

Bucky briefly wishes he had an apple or something to feed it, and then he feels a weight in his pocket. He pulls out an apple. 

“Well, this is interesting,” he says to the horse, and feeds it the apple. 

The horse crunches the apple in half, then turns and offers Bucky its rump. Bucky doesn’t do anything. The horse huffs. 

“Am I supposed to ride you?” Bucky asks, and the horse shifts impatiently. 

The horse looks at Bucky over its shoulder and clearly conveys ‘what are you waiting for’. 

“Okay then,” Bucky agrees, and hoists himself up.

The horse starts walking and Bucky holds onto its hair loosely. 

“Now what? You know where we’re going?” Bucky asks. 

The horse, predictably, does not answer. It does, however, keep walking. So Bucky goes along for the ride. 

He doesn’t know how long the horse walks — it’s almost as if his concept of time is gone, here — but the views along the way are some of the most magnificent things Bucky’s ever seen. Rivers bluer than Steve’s eyes, mountains dusted with glittering snow, flowers so bright they look unreal. 

Eventually, the horse comes to a stop in front of a waterfall. 

“We here?” Bucky asks. “Okay,” he adds, when there’s no answer from the horse. 

Bucky dismounts and as soon as his feet touch the ground, the horse is walking away. 

“Some instruction would’ve been nice,” Bucky mutters. He turns in a circle to survey his surroundings. 

There are mountains on his left, and the waterfall on his right. The horse has walked further along the path, but Bucky thinks if that’s where he was supposed to go, the horse wouldn’t have let him off, and he’s not going to turn back to where he came. 

The waterfall, then. It looks like there’s a path along the side that leads behind it, so that’s the path Bucky takes. 

The sound of the water hitting the pool below sounds almost like wind chimes. 

As soon as he’s behind the waterfall, everything shifts. Instead of the silent serenity, he now hears people talking, laughing, and can smell… roasting meat? He keeps going, following his ears and nose, and on the other side of the waterfall (which he couldn’t see from where he stood a minute ago, which is odd and not how physics works), there’s another meadow, but this one is filled with people. 

It’s at the same time vast and intimate, like a garden party for your thousand closest friends. Half the people there are dressed in armor, the other half in dresses, men and women both. Some are naked to the waist, others in thick layers to protect from non-existent cold. There are animals roaming about that Bucky’s never seen before, but thinks maybe he recognizes what species on earth they’re closest to. There’s some sort of porcine animal being roasted on a spit over a fire, and there are barrels of wine overflowing by every table. 

Bucky stares and stares until he finally remembers why he’s here, and it’s not to ogle what is evidently Norse heaven. He shakes himself and then walks over to the table closest to him. 

“Excuse me,” he interrupts, and the five men around the table stop laughing and turn to him. 

“Hello! Welcome, warrior. How did you enjoy your journey?” one asks jovially. 

“Um. It was lovely,” Bucky replies. 

“Wonderful! Come, join us for the feast!” another invites. 

“Um, I’m okay, but thanks. Listen,” Bucky starts. “I need to find something and I have no idea where to look.” 

The first man nods gravely. “Ah yes, it is difficult to rest when you believe you still have a mission.” 

“I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, friend, but you have been slain in battle. You are in the after,” a third says. 

Bucky does not have the time or the patience to deal with this. 

“I know,” Bucky says. “I will rest, I promise. But I need to speak to… whoever is in charge of… this… place.” 

The men share a glance between them, and then one says, “You want to speak to Freyja.” 

“Sure. Freyja,” Bucky agrees. 

Another glance. Then, “You can find her in the rosarium.” 

“Thank you,” Bucky says, and means it. 

The men tell him how to get where he needs to go, and Bucky takes off. 

Without knowing how much time he has in Valhalla, he figures he better err on the side of getting shit done quickly, so he hurries across the meadow. It only takes a minute or two before he sees the rose garden in the distance. There’s a group of people clustered around a woman in the center, who Bucky assumes must be Freyja. 

He knows to enter Valhalla you have to be a fallen warrior, but it still surprises him that everyone is armed to the teeth. Everyone except for the woman in the center. Like the roses around her, she’s the soft, gentle flower surrounded by thorns. 

He’s equally surprised that no one draws a weapon on him when he approaches. Instead, warriors simply step aside and let him pass, right up to Freyja. 

“Warrior Barnes, welcome,” she says. Her voice is soft yet firm, inviting and strong all at once. 

He’s also shocked to hell that she knows his name. 

“Hello your… majesty?” he hazards, bowing his head. 

A few of the people milling around chitter, and when he looks back up, he sees an amused smile on Freyja’s lips. 

“Just Freyja,” she says, and Bucky blushes. 

“Freyja,” he repeats. 

She looks at him, assessing. 

“Leave,” she orders, and then she and Bucky are alone.

“You do not belong here,” she observes. 

“No, ma’am,” he admits. 

“You are a warrior. A hero. You deserve to be here, that is for certain. But you are not ready.” 

A prickle of embarrassment at the praise burns at the back of his neck. He lifts his left hand, his _flesh and blood_ left hand, and rubs at it. 

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“What is it you’re here for?” Freyja asks. 

“An Infinity Stone,” Bucky says. No reason to beat around the bush. 

“I see,” Freyja replies, and she seems uneasy. “Why do you need one?” 

Bucky knows a test when he sees one, so instead of bristling or demanding, he simply launches into the story that he’s now told dozens of times. By the end of it, Freyja looks pensive. 

“I am not in charge of the protection of the stone,” she says finally. “But I can bring you to it.” 

*****

Freyja leads him to the entrance of a cave. 

“This is as far as I go,” she says. “You will find the stone and its keeper within.” 

Bucky thanks her and looks into the opening of the cave. It’s dark inside, and he can’t see much other than a faint glimmer of blue. 

“Good luck,” Freyja says, and when Bucky turns to look at her, she’s gone. 

The mouth of the cave isn’t quite threatening, but it’s nowhere near inviting. It makes sense, Bucky thinks, for the place where they’re holding the Stone to be protected. But when he crosses the threshold of the cave, like everything else in Valhalla, it transforms. 

What was dark and ominous from the outside is otherworldly on the inside. Clusters of dark purple and blue crystals line the walls, glittering like galaxies, and liquid turquoise springs of water bubble around, somehow creating their own light and reflecting off the walls. 

As he travels deeper into the cave, Bucky’s struck by new beauty everywhere he looks. Every crystal formation is unique and more beautiful than the last. But it’s not until he sees a bright red glittering rock that he knows he’s in the right place. 

The stone pulls at Bucky like it has its own force of gravity. Bucky wants to run to it, to take it, to hold it to his chest, but his instincts keep him from doing so. 

“Hello?” he tries. Nothing. 

He tries again. 

“Uh, hi. I hope someone’s listening so I’m not just down here acting like a fool, but I’m here for the Reality Stone and—” 

He doesn’t have to continue. As soon as the words “Reality Stone” are out of his mouth, there’s a loud rumbling sound behind him. He turns to look for it, finds nothing, and when he turns back there’s a man standing behind the stone.

Bucky tentatively approaches and he can feel the man’s eyes on him, assessing. There’s a lot of assessing in Valhalla, he’s found. As Bucky steps closer, so does he. 

“Hello,” he says, and his voice is so low it reverberates off the crystal walls. “I am Tyr and have been tasked to protect the stone. What is it you want with it?” 

Bucky sighs and is about to launch into the story _yet again_, when a very strong breeze hits him in the face. It picks up into a rush of wind, strong enough that he has to close his eyes, and then suddenly the wind smells familiar, like Wakanda, and when he opens his eyes— 

He’s home. 

* * *

“I don’t have a speech,” Steve says when the team is surrounding him on the platform that’ll take them to the past. “All I got is a helluva lotta faith in this team, and a shit ton riding on it. We all know the plan, we know what to do. All we gotta do is do it.” 

“That sounded like a speech to me,” Rocket says.

“Not one of his best, but pretty good, considering,” Natasha chimes in. 

Steve rolls his eyes. “Any last words before we do this thing?” 

“Nope,” Carol says. 

“Just make sure you get us back,” Thor says to Shuri and Bruce. “I have a kingdom to run.” 

“But no pressure,” Clint jokes. 

“Okay then. Count of three?” Bruce asks. 

“Count of three,” Shuri echoes. 

“One.” 

Steve locks eyes with Natasha, who grins back at him. 

“It’ll be fun,” she says. 

“Two.” 

“I’ve always wanted to know what I looked like from behind,” Steve says, shrugging and trying to let the nervous energy go in place for adrenaline. 

“Three.” 

* * *

Bucky’s stunned immobile. He looks around and takes everything in — he’s right in front of his home, his hut with Steve. All around, things look exactly right. There’s his goats (all of them, even the kids), the neighbor’s chickens. He can hear the children playing in the closest village over. There’s even Steve’s work boots standing outside their front door because they hate tracking mud inside. He can even—

_Steve’s work boots._

Comprehension spurs Bucky into action, and within seconds he’s standing in front of the front door. He lifts his hand to the DNA scanner by the top of the door, and it trembles. He pauses to take a breath and presses his palm to the reader. It only takes a moment, and then the door opens. The smell of his favorite stew fills his nostrils, and he hears the sounds of cooking from inside. Someone puttering away in the kitchen. 

Bucky’s breath catches in his throat, but he doesn’t stop moving, not until he rounds the corner and he can see him, see Steve, right there in their kitchen, looking perfect and beautiful as ever. 

“Steve,” Bucky breathes, and Steve turns around at the sound of his name, and smiles Bucky’s favorite sunrise smile that only _Steve_ can make, and all of Bucky’s breath whooshes out of him at once and he moves across the room without even thinking about it until he’s there in Steve’s arms, pressing his nose into Steve’s neck and breathing in, smelling him, and then he’s crying. 

“Shh,” Steve whispers and turns to press a kiss to the side of Bucky’s head. One of Steve’s hands trails lightly up and down Bucky’s back, while the other is firm against the small of it. “It’s okay. We’re here. We made it, Buck.” 

Bucky doesn’t know how long they stand there, clutching each other. He pulls away, eventually, to look at Steve. He raises his hands to Steve’s face, touches him, swipes a finger across his plump lips. Steve puckers, kissing Bucky’s thumb. 

“You’re really here,” Bucky says. 

“I’m really here,” Steve agrees. “C’mon, let me get the food off the stove before it burns.” 

Reluctantly, Bucky releases Steve, who does indeed remove the food from the stove. But as soon as the burners are off, Bucky grabs Steve’s hand and spins him into a crushing kiss. It’s not a good kiss — it’s too hard, and their lips are smashed, and their teeth click against each other — but it’s the best one Bucky’s ever had, because Steve’s finally here, back with him. 

They don’t need to speak to communicate what they’re both desperate for. 

Bucky walks backwards and Steve follows him willingly, kissing the whole way. 

They make it to their bedroom and it looks just right, it’s perfect, and the sheets are still rumpled and inviting, and when Bucky’s back hits the bed it’s a whole new wave of coming home. 

Steve crawls on top of him and lavishes kisses down Bucky’s chin, down his neck, and then he’s pushing up Bucky’s top and kissing his stomach. Bucky crunches and pulls his shirt off swiftly, tosses it across the room. He doesn’t see or care where it lands. He lifts his hips up so Steve can push his waistband down and he tugs on Steve’s shirt to pull that off, too. 

They don’t go far, nothing beyond kissing, touching, mapping out every curve and arch of the other’s body. It’s intimate in a way that sex isn’t always, and Bucky doesn’t feel the drive to push for more. He’s got all he could ever want. 

Later, after, they’re laying together, Bucky’s head pillowed on Steve’s chest with Steve’s fingers trailing lazily up and down his spine, when Bucky finally gets his thoughts together. 

“How did you do it?” Bucky asks. 

“Mm? Do what, honey?”

“Defeat Thanos. Get us back without the stones? They were in my universe, so you must’ve done it on your end.” 

“Mm. Don’t think about that,” Steve replies lazily and kisses the top of Bucky’s head. “Not now. We’re done fighting, Buck. It’s over, and we can just be here together, just the two of us, for as long as we want.” 

It’s everything Bucky’s ever wanted to hear. And that’s how he knows something’s not right. 

He sits up and looks at Steve, frowning. 

“I need to know how you did it,” he insists. 

“Shh,” Steve soothes. 

“No, Steve, I need to know,” Bucky repeats. 

The smile doesn’t leave Steve’s face. 

Bucky’s stomach drops. 

It’s not real. 

It’s everything he’s ever wanted, but it’s not real. 

He says so aloud and Steve’s smile doesn’t falter. 

“Does it matter?” Steve asks. He takes hold of Bucky’s face gently and leans in to kiss him. “We’re here. Together. This is what you deserve. No, what you’ve _earned_, for what you’ve done for the world. Let yourself have this, Buck.” 

Steve kisses him again and Bucky starts to lose himself to it. He can tell. It’s just… they could have this. Just them, for eternity. _Rest._

But no. If he stays, the real Steve is alone and heartbroken forever. If he stays, Wanda and Sam and Peter and everyone never get to go back to their lives. Is Bucky willing to give all of that up for an eternity of peace? 

No. No he’s not. 

Pulling away from this Not Steve is hard, almost impossible. Every part of Bucky wants to stay, except for the rational voice in the back of his head. 

He looks at Steve and cups his cheek. 

“I love you, Stevie,” he tells him. _It’s why I have to go, _he doesn’t say, because now that he knows this is all fake it feels… hollow. 

He gets out of the bed and is clothed without realizing it. 

“Buck, please,” comes Steve’s voice, but Bucky soldiers through it. 

It’s not real. It’s not real. 

He walks moves through the hut and focuses on putting one foot in front of the other. Doesn’t listen to Steve’s continued pleas from the bedroom. He makes it to the front door. He pulls it open. He steps outside. 

* * *

As soon as they land, Steve is checking his watch and their surroundings. They’re where (and when) they wanted to be, down to the minute, which means they have thirty minutes before the portal opens. 

“Oh god,” Clint groans, bending over to heave. 

“That sucked a lot more than I thought it would,” Tony says, leaning his hands on his knees and breathing deep. 

Steve looks around at his team and everyone looks more-or-less in tact, albeit a little green around the gills.

“Do all humans have such weak constitutions, or are all of you just lucky?” Rocket asks, looking judgmentally at the members of the team who aren’t feeling so hot. 

“Are all raccoons assholes or did you just get lucky?” Natasha mutters under her breath in reply, but Steve is sure his enhanced hearing is the only one who picked it up. 

And maybe Carol, based on the sly grin on her face. 

“What is this place?” Nebula asks, looking around the basement workshop they’re in in wonder. 

“My old workshop, before we moved R&D up to the 68th floor,” Tony explains. 

“Loki will be upstairs with Dr. Selvig to prepare the portal,” Thor says. “We should—” 

“My, my, my. Is that my brother I hear?” 

It’s a voice Steve hasn’t heard in years, and the sound of it immediately raises goosebumps on his skin and makes his hair stand on end. He spins on his heels and has his shield up in the same motion. 

“Loki,” Thor says, and his voice cracks. Steve knows the last time Thor saw Loki, Loki gave up his life for him. That doesn’t mean that this Loki is ready to do the same, but Thor doesn’t seem to be thinking about that. 

“Are you feeling sentimental? Do you think appealing to my better nature will help you here?” Loki taunts. 

“Thor,” Tony warns lowly. “He’s not who you think he is.” 

“Loki, you do not have to do this,” Thor says, and he’s moving towards Loki quickly. 

“On the contrary,” Loki replies, and then Thor is within Loki’s reach. 

Steve starts moving, trying to intercept him, but it’s too late. Loki brings the scepter up and in one swift motion, holds it to Thor’s chest. 

Steve’s always wondered what Thor’s chestplate was made out of, if it was some Asgardian tech that could withstand such primitive Midgardian warfare such as bullets. But the scepter isn’t from Earth, and Thor’s chestplate does nothing to protect him. 

Thor’s eyes glow the electric blue that haunts Steve’s dreams. He’s still for a second, and then Thor turns to Steve and the rest of their team. 

“Brother, keep them busy, will you?” Loki says with a feral grin, and then disappears into thin air. 


	15. Chapter 15

It’s nothing like waking up from cryo.

When he was with the Russians, and later Hydra, his mind was always the last thing to come online. Now, it’s the first. 

He can feel the rush of the freezing crystals on his body, can hear the low murmuring of conversation around him, can process that he’s awake, aware, alive, but his body is still under. 

He wills himself to stay calm, because he knows he’s safe, knows they’ll get him out of this soon. There’s no rational reason to panic, so he counts to ten, and then twenty, and then sixty. 

He doesn’t need to count further, because there’s someone in his head with him, and then there’s commotion on the other end of the room. 

“He’s back,” Wanda gasps. 

“But we did not call him back yet,” a voice Bucky doesn’t recognize says in surprise. 

“I don’t care, he’s back, I can feel him. I’m in his head, he can hear us. Bucky, we’re coming, we’ll be right there,” Wanda assures him. 

There’s bustling around the room, movement and chatter, and Bucky lets it all wash over him. Wanda’s in here with him, and her presence is a comforting warmth in his chest. 

The warmth spreads slowly through his body, until all at once he goes from asleep to awake. He opens his eyes and Wanda’s right there, holding his hand, smiling a radiant smile down at him. On his other side is Sam, looking worried, and holding onto his feet is Peter, clearly vibrating out of his skin with excitement and/or nerves. 

“Hi,” Bucky says, and he can feel a slow, languid smile spread across his face until he’s grinning with all his teeth. 

“Welcome back, buddy,” Sam says, mirroring Bucky’s grin. 

“Did you get it?” Peter asks, letting go of Bucky’s feet and coming around to stand next to Sam. 

Immediately, Bucky looks down at his left hand, still clenched in a tight fist. He opens it, slowly, and exhales all at once when he sees the glittering red rock sitting in his palm, looking as innocuous and beautiful as a ruby. 

“I got it,” he breathes out, clenches his fist, and drops his head back down on the pillow. 

He laughs, short and manic. “I fucking did it. Jesus Christ.” 

“Nice! I knew it!” Peter says excitedly and bounces on the balls of his feet. 

He moves to sit up, but Wanda gently holds him back. “Go slow,” she says. 

He feels like he could run a marathon, but he obeys, moving slowly and letting Sam help him upright. They bring him some water, which he gulps down in a few sips. He doesn’t let go of the stone in his left hand. 

The Asgardians don’t crowd them. They let Bucky’s team mother hen over him for as long as they feel they need, and only after Wanda and Sam have stepped away, the Asgardians move in. 

“We need to make sure your body-mind connection is working correctly,” one of the women tells him. 

“It is,” Wanda assures her. “I felt it. He’s good.” 

“We’d still like to ask some questions, if that’s alright with you?” It’s not the kind of question that’s not really a question at all. Bucky is very certain that if he said no, they’d back off and let him decompress. 

But he has an inkling about what they want to know, and he’s going to have to disappoint them. 

“I don’t really remember,” he admits. 

The Asgardians look immediately crestfallen. 

“It’s kind of like a dream. So vivid when you’re there, but when you wake up, the more you think about it, the less you can pinpoint. I know it was beautiful. There was a woman there, but I can’t remember her name.” 

Bucky tells them as much as he can remember from Valhalla, which really isn’t all that much, but they eat it all up anyway. They ask him some followup questions and he answers them as best he can, until finally they’re as satisfied as they’re going to get. 

“Thank you,” the woman in charge says. “Even the barest insight into Valhalla is valuable.” 

“Thank _you_,” Bucky counters. “We never would’ve been able to get the stone without your help.” 

“Speaking of the stone…” Sam says, coming back over. “What are we gonna do with it?”

“We have containment chambers for objects as powerful as the Infinity Stones. We can provide you with one,” another Asgardian says. 

“Sweet,” Sam replies. “That was easy.” 

*****

Sam and Wanda insist Bucky rests for at _least_ a few hours after he returns to the world of the living, so it’s not until late that night that Lady Sif shows them to a communications chamber. 

They don’t need to crowd around a monitor, because similarly to Wakanda, all calls are projected to the room as if the caller is there with them.

They call Maria and Fury first. When they appear in the room, Maria’s grinning from ear to ear. 

“We did it! We got the Tesseract,” she bursts out immediately. 

Bucky holds up his little box of Infinity Stone. “Same.” 

“How’d you do it?” Fury asks. 

“You first,” Bucky counters, but he’s smiling. 

“It was honestly embarrassingly easy,” Maria admits. “We used the coordinates we had from your recovery site and basically just… found it a stones throw away. No pun intended.” 

“It shouldn’t have worked, but it did,” Fury adds. 

“Bucky died and went to Valhalla and came back to life with the stone!” Peter exclaims, too excited to sit on the information for another moment. 

Bucky rolls his eyes fondly. 

“He _what_?” Fury demands, and Bucky tells the story. 

When they’ve agreed on a meeting point and time with Fury and Maria, they hang up and get in contact with the Guardians. The conversation is more or less the same, Bucky recounting what happened in Valhalla as best he can (still not very well), and Quill replying with his tales of Morag. 

All in all, this Infinity Stone collection quest is going way better than Bucky expected. Sure, getting the Mind Stone was a bit sticky, what with how they had to fight a sorceress and regain their memories, and going back into fancy cryo for the Reality Stone wasn’t _great_, but still. 

They’re five for five with only one left. 

“We know where the Soul Stone is,” Quill tells them through the connection. “It’s on Vormir, which is on our way to Asgard. We’ll take care of it and will meet you in Asgard in a couple of days.” 

“Sounds good,” Bucky replies. “See you soon.” 

“Guardians over and out!” 

* * *

Thor charges him, and Steve only just gets the shield up in time to block Stormbreaker from slicing him in half. The vibranium is supposed to absorb all vibrations, but when the axe and shield connect, the impact nearly shakes Steve’s arms off his body. He grunts in pain, and puts his weight behind the shield, pushing it and Thor backwards. 

Behind him, he hears the telltale hum of Tony suiting up.

Or at least, that’s what he thinks he hears, until Tony yells, “Don’t use the blasters! Everything in this room is highly explosive and if you miss, you’ll blow up the whole building.” 

“That’s great, I’m glad we came down here then,” Steve grunts. 

“Stop resisting,” Thor growls at Steve. 

“Fat chance,” Steve replies. “Anyone want to get in here and help me?” 

“On my way, Cap,” Rocket says, and scrambles onto Thor’s back to pull on his hair. 

Even distracted by Rocket, Thor doesn’t let up on Steve’s shield, which _ugh_, and he reaches back to grab Rocket from his shoulders and flings him across the room. Rocket shrieks a “fuck you!” as he sails through the air and crashes into a desk covered in discarded metal.

“How the hell do we get him out of this?!” Scott asks frantically, coming around to replace Rocket on Thor’s six. He tries to pull at one of Thor’s massive biceps until he, too, gets shoved out of the way. 

“Cognitive recalibration,” Natasha and Clint say in unison. They pause to grin at each other, and Steve spares a second to think about how this is _so not the time. _

“The hell does that mean?” Rocket asks. 

“Knock him hard enough in the head that he passes out,” Natasha explains.

“That’s it? I got this,” Carol says, and saunters forward without a care in the world. 

Steve has never been so grateful for Carol’s presence. He remembers what it was like when she and Thor sparred during their training sessions, and she may be the only person here who can actually knock Thor out. 

Steve redoubles his pressure on the shield, throwing his whole body behind it, and manages to shove Thor back a few paces. It puts Thor right in front of Carol, who calmly clocks him on the side of the head with a glowing fist. 

Thor is on the ground immediately, out cold. 

Steve’s arms are trembling with exertion, and they haven’t even gotten to the hard part of the mission yet. He stumbles backwards until he hits another desk and leans on it. He only needs a minute to recharge, but damn does he need it.

“That’s really something I wanted to deal with right now,” Natasha says sarcastically, standing over Thor. 

“Now how do we wake him up?” Scott asks. 

Tony walks over and kicks him lightly with a gauntleted boot. Thor doesn’t stir. 

“Where’s a good Hulk roar when you need it?” Clint asks. 

Rocket clears his throat. “Will a bullhorn work?”

The bullhorn does work, but it also alerts everyone in the building to their presence, which means they need to get going _immediately_. There’s only one way out of the building that isn’t monitored by security and it’s Tony’s private balcony, which leaves the eight of them cramming themselves into Tony’s private shop-to-apartment elevator that _of course_ he has.

There’s not quite elevator music, but Steve imagines the scene looks as surreal as it feels. 

“Mr. Stark,” JARVIS’s voice comes overhead as soon as the door closes. “You’ve changed.” 

“Oh J, I’ve missed you buddy,” Tony says wistfully. “Take us up.” 

JARVIS must have deemed them legitimate, because the elevator starts moving. 

“So how bout dem Mets, right?” Clint says, interrupting the silence. 

Steve groans. “I know you’re goading me, Barton, and I do not have the energy,” he says, but it’s lighthearted. 

“Good thing we’re there,” Natasha says as the doors open and they all hustle out. 

Tony’s living quarters are different than the last time Steve saw them. They’re also different than the _first_ time Steve saw them, a few weeks after the Chitauri attack when Tony invited him over to show him his _Steve’s_ new suite in the building. Steve realizes this is what Tony’s place looked like before the invasion, before the Avengers, before everything. 

It’s somehow both more and less like what he would’ve expected. It’s largely the same, but the details are different, and they surprise Steve in ways he can’t quite pinpoint. He also doesn’t have the time, because they’re beelining to the large sliding glass doors on the East side of the apartment. 

They slide open when they approach — which Steve thinks is JARVIS’s doing — and as soon as they do, a wall of noise they were previously cut off from hits them like a wave. 

There’s the screeching of the Chitauri, the inhuman sound that plagued Steve’s nightmares for years (until he had better things to torment him at night, like finding out Bucky was alive and Steve failed him). They’re too high up to hear the panicked crowds, but they can hear sirens and the sound of choppers, and the general noise of _Manhattan in Peril_. 

They can’t see the portal from this side of the building, but Steve thinks he can see the electric blue of it reflect off the surrounding buildings. 

“_Jesus_,” Scott breathes. 

“I forgot how bad it was,” Steve admits. He has an eidetic memory, but even he forgot the level of horror present that day. What does that say about him?

“Worst day of my life,” Tony says matter-of-factly. 

“We gonna get on with it or what?” Rocket asks, pressing between their bodies so he’s up front. 

“Okay.” Steve swallows hard. “Everyone who has a suit, suit up.” He taps his wrists together the way Tony taught them and within seconds he’s encased in the now-familiar metal. 

“Comm check,” Steve says and his voice reverberates around him in the helmet. 

A chorus of checks reply, each sounding as if they’re in there with him. FRIDAY is showing him read outs of his teammates, throwing calculations at him rapid-speed. 

“Remember,” Steve says. “Tony nukes this thing in about forty-five minutes, and we don’t want to be near it when he does.” 

“So less talking, more blastoff, yeah?” Carol says. 

“I’d say try not to be seen, but I don’t think anyone is going to notice us when there are giant space whales flying around the sky,” Natasha says. 

“These suits got some juice, but try not to fight anything on your way up. We need as much as we can get for Thanos,” Tony reminds then. Then his repulsors whine and he launches himself off the balcony. 

Scott shrinks and Clint scoops him up so he can travel up in Clint’s suit. Then they’re off, and then Natasha, and then Nebula. Rocket has a helmet that covers his face and climbs onto Thor, who raises his axe and takes off as well. 

It leaves just Steve and Carol. She looks at him with a raised eyebrow. 

“Race?” she asks coyly. 

She can’t see his answering grin from inside his suit, and he’s not above being sneaky, so he’s already powering up before he says yes and blasts off. 

Unfortunately for him, Carol’s superpowers are _way better_ than Tony’s repulsor tech, so she overtakes him immediately, and then passes everyone else for good measure. 

They fly in formation with Carol taking point and Steve bringing up the rear. It’s not loud in the suit, but Steve can hear the surrounding sounds as if there were no metal between him and the outside world. The rush of air fills his ears. 

As soon as they whip through the portal, everything falls dead silent. 

His eyes grow wide as he stares at something he could never imagine in his wildest years. He understands, now, why it was so hard for Tony to describe it to him. 

He doesn’t stop flying — can’t — but he does get lost in it, a little. Enough that FRIDAY course corrects for him and asks if he’s okay. 

There are dozens of the Leviathans coming at them, hundreds of Chitauri soldiers. 

“It’s the worst thing you’ve ever seen, isn’t it?” Tony asks, and the way he’s audible in Steve’s suit makes it sound like he’s whispering in his ear, despite flying a couple of feet away. Steve can tell he’s talking only to Steve and isn’t patched in to the whole team. 

“It’s… beautiful,” Steve says hesitantly, because it is. “But horrible.” 

He doesn’t add that it’s not even close to the worst thing he’s ever seen. He has a whole host of times he’s watched Bucky die, reappear with no memory, and leave him again to take the title of “worst thing in his life”. 

If this were any other time, he’d be marveling over the sheer insanity and beauty of the fact that he’s actually _flying through space_ right now. Maybe when everything is over, when they have Bucky back, he can get Tony or Shuri to build him a little spaceship. He can take Bucky up to see this. Bucky’s always wanted to go to space. 

* * *

Bucky’s standing on one of the palace’s balconies overlooking the city of Asgard when he’s alerted to the Guardians’ arrival. They’d radioed ahead — or whatever the space equivalent of it is — so he’s not surprised they’re here, but they are earlier than he anticipated them. 

He runs into Sam in the hall, also on his way to the meeting point. 

“If they got ‘em that’s all of ‘em,” Sam says. 

“You nervous?” Bucky asks. 

“Yeah,” Sam admits. 

“Me, too. Excited, though. I’m happy with you and all, but I’m ready to get Steve back.”

“You and me both.” 

When they make it to the designated meeting room, Wanda’s already there. Peter enters the room right after Bucky and Sam. They all sit at the big, circular table that makes Bucky think of King Arthur. 

It’s only a minute or so before the Guardians arrive. 

Except… 

“Where’s Quill?” Bucky asks. 

Mantis steps forward, breaking out of the little group. She has an enclosed Infinity Stone in each hand and she holds them out. 

“We now have all the stones,” she says. “Quill is with Gamora.” 

Bucky frowns. 

“I thought she died?” Peter whispers to Sam, and Bucky hopes that he’s the only other person who picked it up because _yeah she did_, which means… 

He kicks Peter in the shin. 

“I’m sorry,” Wanda says gently. 

“We are all very sad,” Drax says. 

“Maybe when we restore the proper universe we will get them back,” Mantis says. “Until then they are at peace together.” 

And what the fuck do you say to that? Bucky’s at a loss for words. 

“Then we won’t waste any time,” Sam says, and thank God for Sam. “We can leave for Wakanda immediately and undo what Thanos did.” 

“I am Groot,” says the tree. 

Whatever he says makes Mantis and Drax smile. 

“Well okay then,” Bucky says, clapping his hands and pushing away from the table. He stands and looks around the room at the odd assembly of people who now make up his team. 

“Let’s go fix the universe.” 


	16. Chapter 16

They fly for long enough that only the giant fireball of the nuke explosion is visible. There’s no discernable details, just a big flash of light behind them. 

It’s also long enough for Steve to start getting antsy. Before he can ask Nebula anything, someone else beats him to the punch. 

“Are you sure we’re going the right way?” Clint asks. “Feels like we’ve been going for a while and you said it would only take, like, fifteen minutes at this speed.” 

“I told you I knew the _approximate_ location of Thanos’s ship,” Nebula bites back.

It’s pretty soon after that that a giant figure becomes visible in the distance. It grows rapidly, until it’s bigger than any one structure Steve’s ever seen. 

“Jesus,” Natasha whispers. 

“Seriously,” Steve agrees. 

As agreed upon, the team stops a ways away, and Nebula alone approaches the ship. Steve holds his breath as he watches her, but the landing hatch opens like she says it would. 

It’s a while before the signal comes for them to follow. It’s on the other end of the ship, and it’s subtle, but Steve’s suit picks it up without difficulty. 

Their approach to the ship is quick and easy. They enter into what looks like a waste disposal room. It’s noisy and loud and smells kind of foul, but it provides them the cover they need. 

When the hatch closes and the room is pressurized, everyone but Tony removes their armor, more comfortable and skilled without the suit than with it. 

Despite the noise in the room, Nebula whispers. “He is here and he is angry. He has heard that Loki and the Chitauri have failed. If memory serves, and it does, he will be going to meet one of his generals soon, so we must make our move quickly. Follow me.” 

Nebula leads them through abandoned hallways and back routes to Thanos’s throne room. They never run into outright trouble. There are only a few times that they even find another person, and they take care of each of them with ease. Nebula takes one out on her own, another goes down by Natasha’s Widow Bites, and a third gets put into a chokehold until they slowly lose consciousness. Steve drags each of them to nearby rooms, out of sight from other potential passersby. 

It’s quick and efficient, and Steve has a moment to think about what the hell they would’ve done if Nebula had never come back to help them. If she hadn’t turned against her father. 

He doesn’t want to know. 

They sure as shit wouldn’t have had it this easy. 

*****

They stop in front of Thanos’s door only for a brief second to catch their breath. They know there’s no use in trying to infiltrate the room silently — even with Nebula there to distract her father. Thanos will know they’re there as soon as they enter, so instead of subtlety, they go in proverbial guns blazing. 

They knew there was a possibility that Thanos wouldn’t be alone in here, and unfortunately that’s the situation that presents itself. In the periphery, Steve sees the people he fought a month ago, both in Wakanda and in the subway in Scotland. 

“Nat,” he warns. 

“On it,” she replies.

As discussed, Steve’s team splits in two. He, Carol, and Thor head directly for Thanos, while the rest of the team engages the others in the room. 

“Daughter, what—” Thanos begins to say, but Thor, Carol and Steve lose no time to it. 

Thanos is nothing if not paranoid, and he has two giant knives on a perch within arm’s reach. He grabs for them and swings them around. 

“Who are you? What do you want?” he demands of them, his voice commanding and loud. 

Steve knows if Tony were on this side of the room, he’d quip something back, like “your undoing” or “revenge”, but he’s not, so Thanos doesn’t get an answer. 

Instead, Thor swings Stormbreaker into one of the knives. The resulting _clang_ makes Steve grind his teeth, but it’s worth it, because it falls on the ground. 

“Carol, now!” Steve instructs, and at his direction she jumps onto Thanos’s shoulders and gets a grip on his neck. She tries to twist it, snap it, but now that he’s one knife down, Thanos has a hand free, and he uses it to grab Carol’s ankle and yanks. She slips off his shoulders with a cry, and Thanos launches her across the room. 

She stabilizes herself before she can hit the wall and is on her way back to them, but Thanos sets his sights on Steve next. Thor tries to intercept, but Thanos shoves him to the ground with one of his giant fists, and swings his knife at Steve. Steve only narrowly manages to avoid getting sliced, but can’t dodge the following punch. 

He catches himself on the ground and twists, getting ready to jump back to his feet. 

“Steve, look out!” Carol shouts as she’s flying towards him, but it’s too late. 

Thanos is above him, and before Steve can wriggle away, he stomps full force on Steve’s leg. 

The bones in his thigh shatter instantly and it’s an agony Steve hasn’t felt in a long time. He swallows his scream and merely grunts upon impact. Thor and Carol are back on Thanos, then, and Steve tries to stand up, get back up and help. 

As soon as he attempts to put weight on his injured leg, he cries out, and when he looks down he sees that his femur has burst through the skin. As soon as he realizes, he wavers and crashes back to the ground. He knows where the bone’s shattered, and he knows if he keeps moving now, he’ll sever his femoral artery. He may heal fast, but even he can’t stubborn his way through bleeding out. 

Steve’s breathing hard through his nose, panting, trying not to call attention to himself from either his team or an opponent. He can’t distract his own people, and he knows injured opponents are an easy target, so he tries to lay low. As low as he can, while a puddle of blood starts spreading around him. He clenches his eyes shut. Tries to breathe. 

The hum of Tony’s suit is close to him, and Steve opens his eyes in time to see Tony join Thor and Carol in the fight against Thanos. A quick glance to his left shows that whoever Tony was up against is out cold. 

“Incoming,” Tony announces, and Carol seems to know what he’s thinking before he can even telegraph his movement. Together, simultaneously, they power up and blast their repulsors and photon blasts straight at Thanos’s face. It paralyzes him, it seems, and before he can even move to fight back, Thor is on him. 

Thor lifts Stormbreaker, and when he brings it down, he takes Thanos’s head with it. 

They don’t pause to celebrate or call it a victory — the rest of the team is still in rigorous combat with Thanos’s other generals. Thor and Carol don’t spare a second and rush over to Natasha and Clint to assist. 

Tony, however, spots Steve, down and in a pool of his own blood. 

“Shit, Jesus holy fuck, Steve,” Tony says rapidly, crashing to his knees next to Steve. The helmet around his face melts away and Steve can see pure panic on Tony’s face. 

He’s bleeding profusely from the wound in his leg, and the way his vision is starting to blink out around the edges tells him he’s going to pass out. 

“Bone popped… through,” Steve grits out. “Might pass… out.” 

“Oh, no you don’t. We didn’t come up here for you to die, Steve. I got you,” Tony promises. He sprays something on Steve’s leg that feels like it seals up the wound, or at least stops the bleeding. 

Steve tries to look at it, but he can’t quite lift his head and keep his vision in tact. 

“Nanotech. Binds molecules. It’s just a fancy band aid, so we still need to get you to medical ASAP.” 

Between the searing pain in his leg and the effort not to lose consciousness, Steve may blink out of reality for a second. The next thing he knows, the rest of the team is surrounding him. 

They must’ve won. 

Natasha is by his side and she looks terrified, but level headed. 

“We need to get out of here immediately,” Nebula says. “More soldiers will be coming.” 

“Steve can’t travel like this,” Carol points out. 

“Can we use his suit to stabilize the leg? Use it as a makeshift cast until we get back?” Scott asks.

“Nat, I’m sorry,” he says, talking directly to her, and he really wishes he didn’t have to ask of her what he needs to. 

“Shut up,” she snaps back. “I know.”

They’ve done it once before, on a mission. Nat couldn’t look at him for hours afterwards, after listening to him scream. 

She flips a knife out of her boot and slices through Steve’s utility belt with ease. Seconds later, it’s in his mouth. Last time they had nothing for him to bite down on and he bit off half his tongue. That was an interesting one to grow back. 

“What are you doing?!” Clint cries. 

“Oh _Jesus fuck_,” Scott groans and turns away. “She has to put the bone back in before it sets wrong, doesn’t she.” 

Everyone bursts into horrified chatter, but Steve’s world narrows to Natasha. They make eye contact for a brief moment. He nods and shuts his eyes tight. 

He feels it as soon as her hand slips inside his leg. It’s the worst pain he’s ever felt, including receiving the serum. She pushes on the bone, and it shifts, and he can _feel it_, and he wants to throw up, except he can’t, because he’s laying down and his body knows that if he does, he’ll choke on it, and his body is too well-made to let him puke, and instead he just prays that he’ll pass out because he doesn’t know how he’s going to survive this, just take off his leg, his throat is raw, he’s screaming, he doesn’t hear it, but his throat is on fire, and he needs her hand out, needs it out, needs it _out— _

* * *

Their trip back home to Wakanda is the space equivalent to a red eye, and most of the ship is asleep. Bucky’s not sure how, because Drax snores like a saw, but his teammates are out like a light. Peter is curled up in a fetal position in one of the chairs, drooling onto his own arm. 

Bucky’s going to miss having him around all the time. 

After trying and failing to sleep in his own chair, Bucky gets up and walks to the back of the ship to look out the window at the galaxy. Sam’s already there, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito. 

“Can’t sleep either?” Bucky asks quietly as he sits down next to him. 

“Nah. Could never sleep well on planes and apparently spaceships are close enough.” 

“Flyboy who doesn’t like planes?” Bucky teases. 

“I always preferred flying _without_ a plane,” Sam quips back. 

Bucky grins. “Touché.” 

“Can you believe we’re honest to God flying through space right now?” Sam breathes a moment later. 

“Not even for a second,” Bucky replies. 

“Steve’s never gonna believe us when we tell him what happened here.” 

“What d’ya think he’ll have a harder time with, that we were in space, or that we were friends?”

“Definitely the latter.” 

“He’ll be thrilled.” 

“Sure. Be happier to see you, though.” Sam knocks his shoulders against Bucky’s. 

“I’d pretend he’ll be equally happy to see us both, but we both know that’s not true,” Bucky jokes. Except it’s not really a joke. 

“I am very secure in my position as second best friend, thanks,” Sam says. 

“Aw, Sammy.” 

“Seriously though, man. I spent two years livin’ in Steve’s pocket and that was enough for me. Dude’s an aggressive cuddler.” 

Bucky laughs quietly. “He is.” 

“What are you guys talking about?” Wanda asks, coming up behind them. 

“Steve,” Sam and Bucky say in unison. 

Wanda sits down on the couch with them. 

“I’m excited to see him.” 

“And Nat,” Sam adds. 

“Do you think…” Wanda starts, but trails off. 

“Hm?” Bucky prompts. 

He thinks she may blush, but it’s hard to tell in the light of the stars. 

“The people we lost before the snap,” she says, and she sounds small. “Do you think we can get them back?”

Bucky’s heart clenches. She’s asking about Vision. 

They haven’t talked about it since they got their memories back, and they never really talked at all in their real world, but Bucky knows what Vision meant to Wanda. He wouldn’t quite equate what they had to what he and Steve have — they have about a century to go together before they can even begin to compete — but he was her first real love, and Bucky knows what it’s like to lose love. 

“We’ll try,” he promises her. “None of us really know how the stones work, but whoever snaps… we’ll make sure they try.” 

“Thanks,” she whispers, then tucks her body up against Bucky’s. He wraps an arm around her shoulders and pulls her close. 

“Almost there,” Sam says softly. “We’re almost home.” 


	17. Chapter 17

Steve regains consciousness when they reappear in Shuri’s lab, back in their own time. He can tell he’s lost a lot of blood, too much blood, but he needs to know if it worked. Needs to stay awake. 

Shuri is on them in an instant, and the expression on her face tells him enough. 

“It didn’t work,” he breathes. 

She shakes her head. 

Steve closes his eyes and slips back under. 

*****

When he next wakes, Steve’s laying in a cradle that looks remarkably like Bucky’s Wakandan cryo-tank. He feels panic creep up at the edges of his mind — it feels too much like waking up in the future, in the fake room, not knowing where or _when_ he is — but he forces it down. Forces his heartbeat to remain steady, his breathing to stay calm. He takes a few deep breaths. When he turns his head, he sees Natasha’s red hair. She’s laying with her head pillowed on crossed arms, leaning against his cradle.

She was a blonde the last time Steve saw her. 

How long has he been out? 

He clears his throat. 

“Nat,” he croaks. 

She’s up immediately, from fast asleep to fully alert in an instant.

“Steve,” she replies. “You’re awake.” 

“Where… _when_ am I?” he asks, and his throat feels like he swallowed gravel. 

Natasha gets up and fetches him some ice chips, bless her, and helps him suck on a few before she answers. 

“We’re in Wakanda. We’ve been back for three weeks,” she informs him. 

Steve nearly chokes on an ice chip. 

“Three _weeks_?!” 

“Steve, calm down,” Natasha says. “This is why we kept you under.” 

“That wasn’t your decision to make.”

“The hell it was, Steve. I put my hand _inside your_ _leg_ to keep you alive, I damn well wasn’t going to let you fuck it up by running into battle again, half cocked.” Natasha’s eyes are fierce and steady. “We kept you under because I _know you_ and you wouldn’t have let yourself heal before going after Thanos again, which would’ve killed you. _Don’t_ deny it, Steven, you’ll only be insulting me.” 

Steve huffs and glares at her. 

“Clint and Scott were injured during the mission, too. They’re fine, but they’re out of the game for now,” she continues. 

“Shuri and her team of healers were able to get you back to at least 95% in this thing. I figured waking you up before you were healed and forcing you to stay behind while we went after Thanos would be torture, so instead I convinced the team to let you heal up before we go again. Now you’re awake and healed.” 

Well. That’s… 

“Thanks,” Steve finally says begrudgingly. 

“You’re welcome,” Natasha says, and she smiles. “Now, we have a new plan and are pretty much ready to go when you are.” 

“What’s the new plan?” Steve asks. 

Natasha grins. “We kill Thanos again.” 

* * *

When their ship enters Wakandan airspace Bucky’s stomach is alight with nerves and anticipation. They’re so close now. Through the windows he can see his home, except it’s not _really_ his home, and he can’t wait for this whole miserable adventure to be over. He’ll admit that there have been good moments — his relationships with these new Avengers, for one — but now that the end is in sight, he’s anxious to get it over with. 

They waste no time when they land, heading straight for T’Challa’s lab. Fury and Maria are already there, and so is, surprisingly, Dr. Strange. Bucky was expecting him to make a big dramatic entrance to be the last piece of the puzzle. 

The gauntlet T’Challa had his scientists make is made of Vibranium and looks… a lot like Bucky’s arm, actually. The only difference is that it’s large enough to fit _over_ an arm and has spaces in the back of the hand for the Stones. 

“It’ll take an hour or so for my scientists to place the stones,” T’Challa tells them. “You should eat something. When we return it’ll be finished.” 

Bucky nods reluctantly and all of them filter out of the room. 

* * *

“For years, Thanos would tell me where he’d go when he did what he was born to do,” Nebula tells Steve. 

They’re already in Nebula and Rocket’s spaceship, strapped in and ready to go after Thanos. 

The team _wanted_ a few more days, maybe get Steve up to speed with the plan, but Steve was having none of it. He blew right past the denial stage of grief minutes after getting out of the cradle, and has landed firmly in _anger._ He knows going to Thanos and killing him now won’t bring anyone back, but he wants that son of a bitch dead. He wants to see the light leave his eyes. 

So now Steve’s getting briefed en route. 

He doesn’t really care about the particulars, but he supposes it’ll be nice to know what kind of landscape to expect, at least. 

“He created the garden to retire to,” Nebula continues. 

“How quaint,” Tony quips. 

Nebula ignores him. “Rocket and I tracked him to it. We know he’s there, and he’s alone.” 

“Plus he’s been weakened from using the stones,” Thor says. 

“Great,” Steve says. “Then I guess it’ll be easy.” 

Flying in a spaceship isn’t much different from a Quinjet, except for in all the ways it is. The flight to space is shorter than the flight from Wakanda to New York. He can’t quite wrap his head around that. 

But it is, and they land fairly quickly on a planet isn’t much different from Earth, except for in all the ways it is. The grass is the wrong shade of green, the sky is yellow instead of blue, and the smell is off. More sour, somehow. 

There’s one lone structure as far as the eye can see, and they know it to be Thanos’s. They don’t bother with subtlety this time, either. 

“I knew you would come,” Thanos says when he’s surrounded. “But it’s too late. You can kill me now, but I’ll still have done what I was meant to do. I already won.” 

Thanos doesn’t put up any kind of a fight, which is disconcerting to Steve, but he doesn’t actually care. He still grabs one Thanos’s arms, holds him tight, while Carol grabs the other. Tony’s supposed to blast him in the face like he did last time, but it doesn’t look like he’ll need to. 

It’s eerie and it makes Steve’s guts turn — almost makes him feel guilty for wishing Thanos dead — but Thanos bows his head, ready for his execution. 

No one hesitates. 

They’re back in the ship less than ten minutes later. 

It’s the least satisfying victory Steve’s ever won.


	18. Chapter 18

As soon as Bucky sees the gauntlet, he knows he’s going to be the one to wear it. 

“As you can see, the design of the arm is one we’ve used before,” T’Challa says, gesturing at it. “But Barnes, that does not mean you must be the one to wield it.” 

“Yeah, but it should still be me,” Bucky replies. 

“How do you figure?” Sam asks. 

Bucky holds up his left hand. “Is this not enough of a reason? We don’t know what’ll happen to whoever puts that thing on, and it looks to me like I have the best protection out of all of us.” 

“The power of the heart shaped herb flows through me,” T’Challa says. “I am also not a mortal man.”

“Forgive me, Your Highness, but if anything goes wrong, you still got a country to run.” 

What Bucky doesn’t say out loud is that if this doesn’t work, if he snaps and they don’t return home, he doesn’t have all that much left to live for. 

T’Challa looks like he might protest, but in the end he just nods his head and stays silent. 

Bucky walks over to the gauntlet and Sam follows him. Together, they lift it and Bucky maneuvers his own hand inside. As soon as the plates of the gauntlet realign to secure to Bucky’s hands, it feels like an electrical current runs through his body. He closes his eyes and breathes heavily. 

“You okay?” Sam asks quietly. Everyone else in the room watches with bated breath. Bucky just nods. He’s not sure he can speak right now. 

He had no idea what to expect when the power of the Infinity Stones would be his. Honestly, he figured he wouldn’t really feel anything at all, and they’d somehow know he was their… master? Wielder? But he was wrong. He’s never felt invincible before, but now he damn near does. What he could achieve with the stones in his power is endless. Thanos was mad before he held the stones, but Bucky can see how this power could drive a man to insanity. 

“Bucky?” Wanda says, trying to get his attention, but he shakes his head.

He lets go of everything in his mind until it’s almost entirely blank. Blank, except for the one thing that matters in the world. He floods his mind with pictures of Steve—his blue eyes, his shining hair, his sunrise smile. 

He brings his hand up. 

He snaps. 

* * *

Carol and Thor are chatting at the front of the ship, while Nebula, Rocket, and Tony are having a conversation in the back. Only Steve and Natasha are silent. Steve can feel Natasha’s eyes on him, but he doesn’t feel like talking to her. He doesn’t feel like talking at all. 

He stares straight ahead out of the window, watches the stars zoom past. 

He doesn’t think about anything. 

Not until they’ve broken through Earth’s atmosphere, and his Kimoyo beads vibrate and turn blue, catching his attention. For the first time in weeks, the readouts that belong to Bucky aren’t showing an error message. They show life signs — a heartbeat, an oxygen level, a location. 

Steve laughs mirthlessly, because it has to be a glitch, and a painful one at that. Maybe Shuri’s tinkering with the code back home and it’s showing false data. 

He’s too distracted looking at his beads to notice they’re landing until the ship ceases all movement. His team’s getting up, shuffling around. The hatch behind him opens and the warm smell of Wakanda fills his nostrils, chasing away the sterile smell of space. 

“You coming?” Natasha asks as she unclips her seatbelt. 

“In a minute,” Steve replies. 

He’s not ready to get out yet. He has no idea what they’re going to try next and he’s moved passed anger, through bargaining, and is now verging on depressed and defeated. And if he gets out of this ship, that means they’re truly at the end of the mission and out of new ideas. 

Natasha nods and places a comforting hand on his shoulder before walking outside. Thor and Carol walk past him, each giving him a smile-and-nod without stopping their conversation. 

Steve slumps down in his chair and closes his eyes. 

“Rogers,” calls Natasha from outside. “You might want to come out here.” 


	19. Chapter 19

Steve sighs and heaves himself out of the chair. He doesn’t hurry, just strolls down the ramp of the ship, looking at his feet.

“Take your time, pal, we got all day,” someone says to him, and Steve stops dead. He looks up, and right there, twenty feet in front of him, is Bucky.

The wave of emotion that hits Steve is so strong, his knees almost buckle. Tears blur his eyes and he blinks them away rapidly. His breath hitches, comes in short bursts, and he’s crying and stumbling forward, rushing towards Bucky who just looks at him with Steve’s favorite lopsided smile, and then Steve’s in his arms, and he’s sobbing, can barely breathe, but he never needs to breathe again because Bucky is _here_, and Bucky will keep him alive, will protect him, will breathe for him if he has to.

“B-Buck,” Steve sobs into Bucky’s neck, and they’re clinging to each other like their lives depend on it, because they do, they _do_, and Steve’s never letting go again.

“I’m here, Stevie,” Bucky whispers right in Steve’s ear. “I got you.”

After not nearly long enough, Bucky pulls back and gets a good look at Steve. He’s crying, too, but silent, happy tears that roll down his face instead of the body wracking sobs that Steve’s struggling through. The smile on Bucky’s face when they look at each other is the softest one Steve’s seen on his face in a long time, and then Steve’s laughing through his tears, too, because they found each other again.

Bucky brings his flesh hand up to Steve’s cheek and gently wipes the tears away with his thumb.

“I missed you,” Bucky says quietly.

It makes Steve laugh again.

“Yeah, me too. Let’s not do that again, okay?”

They stare at each other for another long while until someone behind Steve’s clears their throat.

“What am I, chopped liver?”

And that’s another voice Steve would recognize anywhere and missed to his bones. Bucky steps back and Steve turns around with a grin.

“Sam,” he breathes.

Sam flashes his toothy grin in return and Steve pulls him into a crushing hug, too.

*****

An hour later, they’re in one of the palace’s sitting rooms. T’Challa and Shuri share a couch, as do Sam and Wanda. Steve and Bucky have squished themselves into a loveseat, and Clint and Natasha are in two separate armchairs across from them.

As soon as they were in the clear, Tony and Scott were anxious to leave to see Pepper and Hope and Cassie, respectively. Fury, Hill, and Bruce went along for the ride, already ready to start repairing whatever’s been broken. They took Peter with them to return him to his aunt’s custody. Carol and the Guardians are off to space, Thor’s back to his Asgardians, and Dr. Strange returned to his Sanctum.

Everything feels more or less like it’s falling into the right place.

“How did you start to realize things were wrong?” Steve asks.

“There was this kid in Times Square who was freezing people and he froze me and I lost it. I was so afraid but had no idea why. I was obviously remembering cryo, but I didn’t know that at the time. That’s the first time I realized.”

“Oh!” Sam exclaims. “That kid you were talking about! When we were at the playground, that was Steve.”

“Yeah,” Bucky laughs. “But we didn’t know that either.”

***

“… Finding Scott really got us a long way, because he had the missing pieces to the quantum travel puzzle.”

“Quantum travel?” Sam asks.

“Basically time travel,” Clint says.

“You figured out _time travel?!”_

***

“… and everything went off without a hitch, until _Peter_ got caught on the palace grounds and set off all the alarms.”

“He was just trying to help!”

***

“… trips the alarm, and we all rush to the bunker and then suddenly this glowing white woman is right there with us! I thought Okoye was going to have a heart attack,” Shuri says gleefully.

“Don’t pretend you weren’t frightened,” T’Challa replies. “You talk a big game but I know you.”

“Shush I was fine,” Shuri counters. “Anyway, that was when we met Captain Danvers.”

***

“Dr. Strange is a deeply frustrating man and I hope to never work with him again.”

“Don’t let Strange hear you say that.”

***

“So we get to Asgard and Lady Sif told us the Reality Stone was in _Valhalla._”

“You went to Valhalla?” Clint asks, eyes round.

Bucky nods.

“What was it like? I wanna know everything.”

“I don’t actually remember much. But I do remember it was like…”

***

“…and Steve’s leg was absolutely _crushed_, it was disgusting. The bone was sticking out and everything.”

“Clint!”

“What?! Steve, show me your leg right now. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Buck. Shuri healed me.”

“No, I need to see it right now. Show me.”

“Bucky.”

“Now, Steven.”

They talk until the sun comes up and the adrenaline and excitement finally starts to wear off. Shuri yawns which sets off a chain across the room, and then T’Challa calls it.

“I think it is time for us to rest,” he says. “You are all welcome to stay for as long as you want. Sam, Wanda, I trust you remember where your quarters are.”

“Yeah, I’m beat,” Sam agrees.

Slowly everyone filters out of the room until it’s just Steve, Bucky and Natasha.

“It’s good to have you back, James,” Natasha says to Bucky.

“Good to be back,” Bucky replies, smiling wide.

Natasha looks at Steve with a soft smile. He crosses over to her in a few quick strides and folds her up in his arms.

“Thanks for getting me through, Nat,” he whispers.

“Don’t stay away too long,” she replies.

Steve pulls back with confusion on his face. Natasha raises a sarcastic eyebrow and looks between him and Bucky a couple of times, making her meaning clear.

Steve blushes and chuckles.

“I won’t keep him too long,” Bucky promises, stepping in.

“Have fun, boys,” Natasha says teasingly and then she, too, leaves the room.

Steve lets out a big breath.

“Let’s go home.”

*****

The first thing Bucky wants to do when they get home is check on his goats. All eight of them are there, grazing in their paddock. Bucky doesn’t want to admit how happy he is to see all of them, but Steve knows him as well as he knows himself, so Bucky knows he’s not fooling anyone when he ambles over casually before sneaking a glance at Steve and hopping over the fence. Steve laughs and leans against the fence, resting his chin on his folded arms.

Goat Shuri catches sight of him and jumps around in excitement, zooming over to him. Bucky sits down in the grass and lets the little goat climb him.

“How come you got both Shuris and I got none?” Bucky asks jokingly as he nuzzles into the goat’s hair.

A few of the other goats come over to say hi and snuffle in his pockets to see if he has any treats. Bucky pets them all hello. When Bucky’s satisfied, he hops back over the fence and he and Steve walk the few steps to the hammock. Instead of laying down, they sit side-by-side, legs dangling over the side and swaying gently back and forth. Bucky’s got his head pillowed on Steve’s chest and Steve’s arm rests over his shoulders. Bucky’s left hand is in Steve’s lap and Steve traces the metal plates with his fingers.

“Watching you disappear like that…” Steve trails off. “I never lost faith that we’d get you back. I didn’t know how long it’d take or how we were going to do it, but I knew you were alive, somewhere.”

Bucky turns his head to kiss Steve’s chest.

“I felt you,” Bucky says. “Even when I didn’t know you. I mean, I didn’t really know what I was feeling, but there was always a familiarity in things that made me feel calm. When I felt you in the compound that first time… I should’ve been scared that there was an unfamiliar, I don’t know, aura or something in my room, but I just felt comforted by it.”

Steve presses a kiss to Bucky’s head.

“You’re what I thought about, you know,” Bucky continues. “When I was snapping. I had no idea what I was doing, but all I cared about was getting back to you. That’s what brought us back.”

“Our love spans universes, huh?” Steve replies.

Bucky grins. “Yeah. Cheesy, but yeah.”

Steve kisses him again.

“Why’d you shave?” Bucky asks then, leaning back to look at Steve’s smooth face.

Steve chuckles and rubs his hand across his chin. “Time travel,” he says. “Needed to look at much like my 2012 self as I could, ina case we were seen. We didn’t really know what kind of impact we’d have on the future so we figured we’d play it safe. Turns out, we really didn’t do anything.”

“Good,” Bucky says firmly. “Who knows what kind of romantic moments you could’ve fucked up. I worked hard wooing you, you know.”

“Yeah? And when was that?” Steve asks, laughing.

“When we were gallivanting across Europe together after I escaped HYDRA.”

“I don’t know if I’d call that gallivanting,” Steve says. “I spent more time on that trip with Sam than you.”

“But Stevie, gallivanting means traveling around pursuing pleasure. Are you saying I don’t bring you pleasure?”

Steve laughs again and digs his fingers into Bucky’s sides. Bucky laughs and shoves him off.

“You’re a menace, Barnes.”

“Mm. Maybe. But I bet you’re still glad to have me back.”

Steve softens and pulls Bucky back into his arms. “Glad doesn’t begin to cover it, pal.”

Bucky uses his foot on the ground to get the swing back into the hammock. They rock back and forth in silence for a minute.

“You know, I finally get what you see in Sam. But if you tell him I said that, I’ll deny it to the grave,” Bucky tells Steve.

Steve barks a laugh. “Yeah?”

“Mhm. He was my best friend where we were.”

Steve squeezes Bucky’s shoulders.

“I mean, I know the memories were fake and all that, but they still showed his real character, you know? We were all _us_, just with different histories. I think we’ll be seeing a lot more of Peter and Wanda too, now that we’re all back.”

“Were you close?”

“We were a family,” Bucky replies. “We all lived together at the compound and everything. Wanda and I especially. Neither of us knew at the time, but I think we found our lost siblings in each other.”

“That’s great, Buck.”

“Yeah, it was. I wouldn’t do it again, of course I wouldn’t, but I am glad about what I gained from everything. It doesn’t feel fair, though. I got to be happy at least for a little while and make these new relationships, and you were here suffering.”

Steve laughs and, surprisingly, it’s not even all that bitter.

“I got something out of it. Tony and I… we’re good now. Friends, even.”

Bucky pulls away to look at him in shock. “Seriously? Steve, that’s great.”

“Yeah,” Steve says and grins. “It took a minute, but we got there. I invited him to our next wedding.”

Bucky laughs. “Our what now?”

“Next wedding. I told him about the one with the border tribe and I realized how sad I was that he wasn’t there for it. Him and everyone else. Y’know, when we were testing the time machine, that’s what I went back to. I got to see it again.”

“It was a good day.”

“A great day. You wanna do it again?”

“What? Get married? For real?”

“Yeah. I mean, I know we did the one last year, and lord knows we probably hold the record of longest standing common law marriage, but I wanna do it right. I want our friends there, Buck.”

“Stevie, you don’t have to convince me to marry you again. I’d marry you every day if I could.”

“Yeah? So we’ll do it?”

“Course we’ll do it. But I call dibs on Sam as my best man.”

“What! No! He was mine first!”

“Okay then I get Natasha.”

“No wait, I want them both.”

Bucky laughs. “How about we don’t have any, huh?”

“Mm. Okay. I love you.”

“Love you, too, you goof. Now c’mon, get up. I just fixed the universe. I could use a nap.”

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> THAT'S ALL FOLKS. 
> 
> As I mentioned in my opening notes, this took 2 years and a village to complete. It's my first work of this length that I've actually finished and I am overjoyed. It was a helluva journey, that's for sure. 
> 
> If you feel like dropping me a line on [Tumblr](https://emilyshay.tumblr.com/), please do. If you like this fic and the art, we'd love to hear that as well, either over here, or on Kitty&Mulder's page! 
> 
> p.s. the offscreen deaths were all restored when bucky snapped everyone is fine yay


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